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Why Me? MAG
To look at me, you would think I'm confident and have good self-esteem, but really I am the complete opposite. I live in a small town and everyone knows everyone. It never bothered me, but then I began to realize that it is not a good thing to have people know so much about you.
My town used to have a large Jewish community, but it has declined over the years. In seventh grade I found out that people I thought of as friends were calling me names behind my back - names I'd never heard before, names that had to do with me being Jewish. I remember being told what they meant and crying for the first time in front of my classmates. Even though I begged my teacher to let me go to the guidance counselor, he would not. And, no one would believe that the person I knew had started it all had anything to do with the ugliness.
In my middle school, grades meant everything; the higher your grades, the more trustworthy you were. Although I was an honors student, the boy who started this was class president and had even higher grades. I ended up visiting my neighbor, a Board of Education member, who helped me take action. I thought those students would finally get what they deserved, but again I was wrong. My principal let that same boy off with a warning, and forced another girl to write me an apology I knew she didn't mean. I couldn't believe I had suffered so much and this was all that was done. I felt I could trust no one.
In eighth grade I was no longer popular because everyone felt I was making too big a deal of the situation. People went around sneezing "A-Jew" whenever they passed me, shoving me on the stairs, and making fun of how I dressed.
I kept telling myself that they were jealous because I was smarter and
better off and in the long run I would succeed. I decided I would not report the harassment again since this had done nothing the first time. I had lost hope.
One day I was called to the office to discover that my favorite teacher had told the principal about what I was facing. He had heard kids say things and felt it was time to take action. Now the principal had to believe I wasn't making things up. Three girls were expelled, and when I found out, I got back everything I felt I had lost - my confidence, trust and hope.
School did not get better, though. I was blamed for the loss of the girls, but I didn't care. They brought it on themselves.
I started high school thinking this treatment was over, but I still hear racial slurs in the hallway. Racism will never end.
Then something happened. I was studying late one night when the doorbell rang. I heard my grandmother yelling and looked out the window. Someone had put a Christmas tree in our front yard. I didn't know who, although I had ideas. I pretended to laugh it off, not showing anyone that it bothered me. That was a bad decision. To keep such strong emotions inside is unhealthy and stressful.
Two weeks later a boy who used to go to my school told me he wished he could slap some Christian into me and that he and a bunch of boys were responsible for the tree. For the first time in my life, I just didn't care anymore. Apparently those boys have an obsession with trying to make me miserable. Prejudice will always be a part of my life. With experience comes wisdom, and in the three years that this hate has been coming my way, I've learned a lot more than most learn in a lifetime.
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This article has 5 comments.
You got this published in the magazine. Great job! Now people around the country will see what those racist a**holes did to you and realize how wrong it is. You know, it might help people who went through what you did stand up for themselves.
By the way, you're a great writer. Keep writing!
Racism is ugly.
Be proud of your heritage, and never let anyone get you down. You're a beautiful person, and are better off without those Christian extremists.
You don't know what other people go through and you would and could never understand.
Yes some people have happy lives, having no fear or serious worry
Most people don't
People are just good at hiding their problems
People pretend and blend in
Yes I understand that you've learned a lot from your experience but not more than anyone else
How do you even measure knoledge??
Every person learns something that you don't
The things that they learn might not apply to you but they are equally important
I think I understand your predicament but people have it the same as you if not worse
Every problem is the worst for someone and someone can always solve another's problem
I'm sorry if my coment seems like it's attacking you. That's not my intention. I want you to put things in perspective. there's always someone that has it worse than you in the world.
The struggle you went through seems to me like I could survive it
But if I told you my struggle, you would probably think the same.