Grade 2 was when all it started. My country used to be so peaceful, but what happened? Grade 2 was when I realized that everything fell downwards.

I knew what Islamophobia was to a certain extent- but grade 2 was when I became completely aware of Indian's hate towards Muslims.

I realized how everyone at school started asking about religion before befriending anyone. And if you're a Muslim, you would not get any friends. I always heard everyone at school talking extremely vile and hateful things about Muslim actors, Muslim culture, Muslim people, and everything with a "Muslim" name. It didn't take me long to realize a trend, as this was the thing my parents had always feared the most as a minority.

The problem became bigger when I realized I was being targeted and bullied because of this. Nobody ever wanted to be friends with it because everyone knew I was one of the three only Muslims at my all-Hindu school, and although that made me feel sad and isolated as an 8-year-old, it all became worse as my classmates started making jokes about me as a Muslim.

They said things like "Go back to Pakistan!" even though all my ancestors are Indian and my entire family is from India and called me a"Terrorist", knowing that it is a slur. I started to become very depressed and anxious because of everything my family and I were going through and did not want to live in India anymore, despite loving my culture.

They always isolated me from any activity, and the teachers did the same, never appreciating me like they did to my other Hindu peers who got the same score or even lower, than me. One day a girl threatened me, and I don't feel like talking about that. Students harassed me all the time, especially guys who thought harassing a Muslim girl is the absolute most hilarious thing on earth.

After those brutal years of extreme anxiety and depression, I finally got to leave India and have never felt so peaceful and happy in my life. My current life is so much better as I have completely moved on from these past experiences and tried coping mechanisms to feel like I was never associated with India.

As I mature, I have realized that I do not need those coping methods to forget my identity. I have realized how acknowledging myself as an Indian Muslim and not hiding/trying to forget about these experiences would be the braver, and better thing to do as I can inspire other Muslims who struggle with the same kind of treatment, and at the same time, embrace my identity without feeling ashamed or associated with people who bullied me. I used to hate my culture but now I have learned how the culture is not the problem- but rather the country, the government, and the people.

*NOTE THAT THERE IS A LOT THAT I DIDN'T MENTION HERE*

I also witnessed the killing of one of my family friend, (because of being a muslim), AND myself being physically harassed, but I didn't talk about it here as I don't feel comfortable yet talking about those traumatic experiences.

Thank you.