I sat on the bench in the corner of the quad that seemed invisible just as invisible as i did. It was a hot humid Thursday after a rainy wednesday,the sun was drying up the blood orange leaves scattered around in the front lawn of the school.Everyone passed by and stepped on the leaves crushing them turning into small specs that would drift into the air with the wind.I always thought leaves were so beautiful and so fragile, they were a piece of the transitioning seasons yet they were never as respected as the pumpkin spice drinks and the pumping craving that was glorious during the fall time. They were so vulnerable and just stayed there being stepped on it was like watching my whole life being acted out with a piece of nature. As i sat i couldn't stop the thoughts hidden way deep in my mind from slipping out. Just like a leave a human life could vanish in a beautiful split second Goosebumps ran through my whole body as that thought flew through my mind. Before i could give it some more attention a breeze of boy cologne ran through my nose, i looked up and there he was. The wind pulled his hair back and his blue eyes lit up with sun, his chapped lips sat underneath his nose that was slightly red maybe from a cold. I saw him and he saw me “uh Hel-“ I tried to say before i was interrupted by the lunch bell. He sped walked to class and i convinced myself he hadn't heard me fail miserably at speaking. As i walked into my art class i looked around and i saw self painted portraits of past students hanging on the walls, all with distinct face structures and different eyes. I Could see the windows of the soul painted clearly. I was dazed by thought of all the lives the portraits held.There were so many lives on those walls and even more inside this room. I began to fill my heart beat rise and become faster and faster. I could no longer hear anything but the sound of my beating heart “HEY! Hello? You there?!” it was the boy he had called out for me from behind my desk, i turned back and before i could answer I caught myself becoming lost in his eyes once again. “uhm? Whatcha staring at there freak?” he looked confused
“Oh- uhm- nothing” I Lied i knew exactly what i was looking at. “So i heard you’ve got a thing for math, season starts soon and without the grade ill be on the bench all season” He said with a dry look on his face, i said nothing and i felt my fist clench and began to feel my muscles tighten “All star football player cant let his team down do you know what'll happen?!” His words became unimportant to me and i no longer wanted to listen or get lost in his stupid blue eyes. He slammed his desk with his pen and yelled “DO YOU KNOW?! DO YOU?”I knew what would happen, i knew his whole highschool football career could be over but i didn't care. I took a deep breath “I can help you.” i said with a deceiving smile. After the last bell of the day rang and dismissed us from school, He met me in the front. He stood Next to the pole where the flag stood and danced with the wind,boys his age that dressed with denim jackets and high class sneakers were by his side.“Are you ready to go?” I Asked. He looked at me and he said nothing but i knew exactly what he was trying to say, his eyes were ashamed to see me  and i could feel stares coming down on me from the crowd of people surrounding us. I lost conscious and  my body took control over my mind before I knew it i was on the other side of the campus with my heart ready to come out and my unsteady breathing. I felt a heavy hand touch my shoulder and startled I turned around “ You cant just show up like that, you scared me. Ready to go?” He said with no thought into the humiliation i was put through. I didn't say a word. The whole walk to my house  was silent the sound of the fall birds and the blood orange leaves streaming through the streets was the only noise I heard the whole way. I opened the door knob of the wooden door to my house, i watched him sit down on the velvet vintage couch. I Watched him get comfortable and settle down “Glass of water?” I said as i pushed the kitchen door open. “Do you have soda instead?” he demanded. I Opened the refrigerator door and slammed so hard the cereal box fell and opened on the floor. I looked at the mess but I thought looking at the boy was so much better and more important than the cereal, I almost ran into the living room. Putting the soda down on the table i stared at him As he took out his book. I watched him some more and I Could no longer distinguish what I felt. I just wanted to touch his fragile skin and get closer and closer. I Leaned in touched his face, i could feel the blood running through my veins as my arms ran through his hair and down his face. I could see nothing but his eyes bigger than ever, frightened of what was in front of him. If I had a mirror reflection of myself id be just as terrified, as i closed my eyes I Could smell his cologne and I remembered the blood orange fragile leaves on the floor I Had seen that morning. I also remembered the thoughts that ran through my head I was lost in the memory. As i slowly came back from that memory i felt my hand was no longer on his face. His adams apples was in the palm of my hand, the pulse i felt was no longer my own I let all the rambling thoughts i had in my head come out all at once.The grip became tighter and tighter and I could feel nothing but my own pulse and hear nothing but my own heart beat once again.