I saw you for the first time, and I knew I had to kill you, because you reminded me of myself. You were so beautiful, so tempting, so terrifying. You were like roses: beautiful, if you looked past the thorns; I was scissors around your stem, biding my time before I snapped.
We fell in love like mice in a trap: only seeing what we wanted to see, as if ignoring the broken parts of ourselves would make them go away. We laughed at our misfortune, like it was a joke, and we were the punchline. You loved my sense of humor, my cynicism, my idiocy- I loved the marks you left on my neck.
You told me you loved me, but you were an excellent liar. I told you the same, because I thought I did love you, because I thought you were my sun and my moon- funny, right? I called you friend or lover or everything, but you were an absent feeling, just out of reach.
Sunlight to made way for darkness. Secrets cracked through jokes, things we wanted to say but couldn't. There were edges to you, sharp corners I cut myself on. I said it didn't hurt, and you believed me, while you watched me bleed.
I told you to run from me, run and never look back. You told me you were just as dangerous, and I prayed you were wrong. I prayed this world could survive the both of us, lest it break under our wrath and insecurity.
Everyone said we looked so happy. They told me I was lucky, that you were, that we were a match made in heaven- but we'd been damned from the start. We were living in a dream, terrified of the day we'd wake up. You were too good to be true, because you weren't, and when we all fell down, and I'd sit crying, saying I told you so, I told you so.
If the dream was lined with doubt, it was still a dream, and a perfect one at that. We made a castle of daydreams and promises, and it was beautiful, like all lies are. I said it won't last, and you said maybe so, but it will exist, for a moment in time.
The day before you died, you were quiet, like you knew, you did, I swear you did. Your walls came down, and you let me see you, just you, for a glimpse in time. For a moment there were no lies, and I saw you for the first time: ugly, a beast like no other, impossibly evil and stained with misuse- betrayed, waiting for the axe to fall.
I killed you. You'd been expecting it from the start, since I saw you that wretched day, knew this world couldn't survive the both of us. Perhaps you wanted me to do it, perhaps you understood, perhaps you didn't- but you held me as I did it, forgave me as your body turned to meat. I kissed you, and I loved you, and I hated you, because you reminded me of myself.