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Masked Ball

August 19, 2013
By Kestrel PLATINUM, Warrenton, Virginia
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Kestrel PLATINUM, Warrenton, Virginia
29 articles 11 photos 189 comments

Favorite Quote:
-There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. (Shakespeare, Hamlet)

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The women swirl and dip, skirts flaring. The room is packed. This, combined with the host's request that only black or white be worn, makes it easy to lose one's partner. A young couple step away to the balcony, where it snows gently. They lean into each other and peer wistfully into the night sky curving around them, a perfect sphere. The lights of the party illuminate the lawn, portraying their silhouettes, not that they notice. Nor do they appear to notice a third silhouette slide up. The young woman stiffens as her dress suddenly turns from snowy white to crimson, though her partner does not react. Instead, when she slumps, he lets her go, not pausing to see her collapse before he disappears from my view.

© Becca W., Greenbrae, CA

The author's comments:
Inspired by The Night Circus, by Erin Morgenstern. PLEASE; in the comments, I would love suggestions on where to go with this. Expand it? Turn it into a short story? Make it just into a poem?
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This article has 9 comments.

hrj_nikki14 SILVER said...
on Sep. 9 2013 at 4:58 pm
hrj_nikki14 SILVER, Apex, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons, make orange juice, and keep the world to wonder how you did it.<br /> <br /> Women are like angels. You break our wings... we simply continue to fly... on broomsticks. We&#039;re flexible like that (;

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Kes! My poems were posted? Could you please read them? It would mean so much to me if you did, and told me what you think!
StarSophia GOLD said...
on Sep. 7 2013 at 10:30 pm
StarSophia GOLD, Wauwatosa, WI, Wisconsin
18 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;But it&#039;s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it&#039;ll shine the clearer.&quot; ~ J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers<br /> <br /> &quot;For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.&quot; ~ Jeremiah 29:11<br /> <br /> &ldquo;Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.&rdquo; ~ Corrie Ten Boom

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Great imagery & description but could definitely be longer!  More of a plot would make the shocking ending more meaningful.  
hrj_nikki14 SILVER said...
on Sep. 4 2013 at 4:52 pm
hrj_nikki14 SILVER, Apex, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons, make orange juice, and keep the world to wonder how you did it.<br /> <br /> Women are like angels. You break our wings... we simply continue to fly... on broomsticks. We&#039;re flexible like that (;

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Thanks for remembering! And yes please, let me know!!
Kestrel PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 4 2013 at 7:13 am
Kestrel PLATINUM, Warrenton, Virginia
29 articles 11 photos 189 comments

Favorite Quote:
-There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. (Shakespeare, Hamlet)

View profile
Yay Nikki! Haha thanks. I'll let you know when I post the extension. Now that you've commented it'll be easier for me to find you again to see your first poem. :)
hrj_nikki14 SILVER said...
on Sep. 3 2013 at 9:12 pm
hrj_nikki14 SILVER, Apex, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons, make orange juice, and keep the world to wonder how you did it.<br /> <br /> Women are like angels. You break our wings... we simply continue to fly... on broomsticks. We&#039;re flexible like that (;

View profile
I really liked it Kes! I think turning it into a short story would be a great idea! 
Kestrel PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 3 2013 at 8:48 pm
Kestrel PLATINUM, Warrenton, Virginia
29 articles 11 photos 189 comments

Favorite Quote:
-There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. (Shakespeare, Hamlet)

View profile
Thanks! I think I will make it a short story. I have a couple ideas, but I'm not sure where to go with it. Any thoughts? 
Mckay ELITE said...
on Sep. 2 2013 at 8:43 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

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It felt somewhat vague. Only because we don't know what exactly the story is about. My suggestion is that you should convert into a short story. If you think you can go further with it, convert it thereafter into a novel. You have a great start. I love envisioning this. It's pretty to think about. Beautiful imagery. 
WallFlowerAlice GOLD said...
on Sep. 2 2013 at 8:41 pm
WallFlowerAlice GOLD, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
16 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Why wait when you only live once? Go out there dance, smile, and enjoy yourself! If your not having fun then darling your doing something wrong!&quot; <br /> - Therese

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Intrestingly well planed out, and I must admit I was a little creeped out, Bravo!!! SAID ALISON
dbk1098 PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 2 2013 at 8:39 pm
dbk1098 PLATINUM, Rockville, Maryland
20 articles 0 photos 40 comments
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Love the word choice!! This is great! Very thrilling