I never thought I would hear the words “Mom” and “dead” in the same sentence. That was until the brisk summer day in 2003 when I was 5, that my mother was found dead in her car. I was never told who hit her. Dad went to the hospital to check on her but the doctors said there was nothing they could do to save her. He wept for what seemed like decades. I cried as well but I was just a kid I didn't know what to feel, or how to act.
Now I'm 25 and still look back on the day that my mom was forever gone. I live a new life in New York, I'm a psychiatrist. I have been seeing a guy for 3 months now. His name is Carl. Carl understands me because his dad left him when he was 3, he's now 23. Carl brought it to my attention that I never found closure after my mom's death. I guess I was always too young to understand, but I'm not anymore. I just don't know how I could find closure. I keep in touch with my dad and keep him posted on my life. He's at home with his new wife and her kids. He just married his wife 3 years ago and has a 2-year-old with her and she has 2 of her own. I told my dad about a guy I had been talking to but it was brief and came to an abrupt stop when I mentioned Carl.
“Hi Dad,” I say
“Hi sweetie how have you been, what have you been up to,” my dad questions
“Not much, I am dating this guy his name is Carl Smith.”
“Smith?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Oh, nothing, I just used to know Smith, it's a common last name though.”
“Ha, okay. How do you know him?”
“He used to be in the police force with me. One day he just left.”
“Anyways I have to get going, sweetie. Bye, love you.” Dad ended the call, quickly like something was agonizing him.
I grew up with my dad and mom well until…” My dad was always out doing his police stuff. Occasionally he would be out so late I was asleep by the time he got home. However, when my mom died he stopped being a police officer. He said it was too hard for him and he wanted to be home more. So he was, he was always home, always, on the couch, in the bed, with a beer, and a whole lot of tears. He had to start working again so he got a job as a bartender until I was 20. Now he works at a manufacturing company and is a manager for it.
My eyes close at the end of a long work day my mind starts going off track wondering why Dad ended the call so abruptly.
I woke in the night from a horrible nightmare, I got in a car crash and someone had hit me from behind I was jumbled but okay I looked out my window to see a black Chevy beside me Carl’s face in the window.
I am scared but like any nightmare, It's just a dream.
With all this going on with the 6Smith coincidence and my nightmare I want to know what happened I didn't find closure, I wonder, is there a deeper root in my mom's death? Was she not just in a car crash, was she a victim of a hit-and-run? How did they not find the killer? Did the killer disappear? These questions linger in the back of my mind. But I think I'm just being dramatic. I go back to bed and hope these thoughts disappear when I wake up.
This chill runs cold through my spine. What does my dad mean exactly when he says his buddy just left? Who just leaves without telling anyone? It's probably just a coincidence that Carl and my Dad's old friend have the same last name…right?
I decided to ask Carl what his Dad did for a job.
“He was some sort of police officer,” Carl said, “until he left”
“What were your parents' names, Carl?”
“Cathy and Chris”
“Okay,” I say.m..vv ;
That night when I got home I needed to call my dad.
“Hi Dad,” I say
“Hi Anna, what's up?” he responds
“I was just wondering…?
“...”
“What was your friend's name”
“Oh I forget I haven't seen him in a while, maybe it was something like Chuck, Cristian, Oh Chris that's it.”
“NO WAY”
“Dad, I think it may be Carl's dad.”
“OH”
“Wow!”
“I have to go honey bye”
Why did Dad react like that? Did he not like Chris? Was Chris mean?
Dad and I don’t talk for a while, and neither do Carl and I. The name does sound familiar Smith…Smith… I remember seeing it in some newspaper of a guy who disappeared after doing something bad. Maybe he did something bad to my Dad.
I called my dad again to see what happened to him, maybe I could give closure to Carl. I didn’t expect to hear what Dad told me.
“Hi Dad,” I say this time not as cheerful
“Hi, Anna...” There's silence in the conversation.
“Dad. Whatever happened with Chris I know he did something, don't lie”
“.......” The pause was longer this time
“Well Anna we believe that he was the one that hit your mom”
“..............” I feel sick to my stomach like you do after a roller coaster when you've eaten cotton candy right before. “NO” “NO” “NO” I yelp.
“I know, I'm sorry”
No, No, No, my heart sinks into my stomach, my tears trickle down my face, and my love for Carl starts to fade away. I know it shouldn't be, that he's not the same person but his dad… but his Dad killed my Mom. I will never get her back. Never. I feel like curling up in my bed and never coming out.
The phone rings…
“Dad?” I say
“.......” the silence was loud
“Hi Anna…” He says with a shaky voice
“It's 2:00 AM,” I say
“I know but I couldn't sleep…, there's something I have to tell you”
“What is it?”
“Well… you know how Carl's father, Chris, killed your mother, it wasn’t an accident.”
“WHAT NO NO NO, WHY WOULD HE DO THAT” I scream, pain went through my body like I had been stabbed with the tip of a recently sharpened knife.
“I don't know how to say this but…” he pauses “I had an affair with Carls's mom, he was upset, devastated, and more than anything wanted to kill me, that day your mom took my truck, he must have thought it was me so he went and hit her, somehow his car wasn’t damaged and he just left. Hit and run”
“...........”
I hang up quickly, tears fill my eyes, and my head slumps into my hands, The idea of Carl living right now disgusts me.
I grab a kitchen knife, not quite sure what I'm doing yet. I limp slowly toward my apartment door. Then I stopped suddenly. What am I thinking? I nearly drop the knife on my foot, my head pounding. Carl probably doesn’t even know what his dad did. My vision blurs into red, I reach for my phone and call Carl.
“Get over here. Now.”
“Are you okay? I'm on my way”
I hang up the phone and nearly fall. Then I feel the black closing in and fall forward, unable to stay conscious.
I awaken to a banging sound on my door. Then I saw him… my thoughts were in shambles.
“CARL,” I say
“WHAT? What's wrong?” he says
“Your.. your dad”
“My dad... What?”
“He killed my mom”
“What no…” Salty droplets trickle down his face like rain in a thunderstorm.
“Yes purposefully”
“But why” Carl barely gets the words out.
“My dad and your Mom had a secret affair he got so mad he wanted to kill my dad but he accidentally killed my Mom thinking it was my dad”
“OH MY GOD”
“You have to go I just needed to tell you”
So he does, he puts his dirt-covered shoes on and stumbles out of my apartment.
I saunter into bed hoping I don't wake up.
I got the call at 5 in the morning, Carl couldn't sleep he went home to talk to his Mom but that's not who he found. Dead. Laying on the floor was Carl's dad with a knife in his hand.
“Dad? DAD!” Carl screamed.
“He didn't do this he wouldn’t have? what just happened?”
“Who did this to him?” Carl whimpered.