The Betrayed Man

I am a ghost muddling along the turbid city. The familiar neon light is still flashing my hollow eyes to blind; the familiar skyscrapers are still on the verge of collapse; the familiar city parks are still deliberately puzzling wanderers. Everything is still familiar. Sometimes, this illusion tricks me into thinking I am still alive and I am just being a terrible physicist who walks pass the institution thousands times a day but never goes in. I was a terrible physicist who blasted himself into pieces, but now, I am just an invisible man in New York City.

There is no law from the world that can ever bind me. But, I hate being a ghost, everything that I do is for her.

I have a meeting with Janelle.

Janelle is living without the shield of New York’s light. She used to live with her dad, who was a grave keeper, but after his death, she lived alone in the house. The house is on a small hill, surrounded by weeds that are as tall as a male man. When wind blows by, a faint shriek treads on the weeds and the air, arriving from nowhere. The house, as far as I remembered, is in total blackness. There are some huge crevices of course, but as a whole, it blends with the dark night and densely packed tombstones. The house itself is on three levels, each with two huge windows that constantly shut and open. When I was still alive, every night, there was a vague creaking coming the windows.

“It’s probably a ghost.” She would laugh and wipe my sweat.

“It can’t be. I’ve lived here for 20 years. I haven’t met a single ghost. ”

These scenes become so real with this old musty smell. Yes, everything stays exactly the same after these months.

I was planning to see from far away, but I could not. My mind told me to follow the musty smell, follow to open the rusty doorknob, follow to the damp and disorder living rooms, and follow to the bedrooms up-stair. I wished her to be miserable as i am, I needed her to be miserable as I am.

Tissues thrown cover the carpet; the tins and bottles are squeezed furiously and cast aside maniacally; Her hair is covered with streaming tear. I need her to be like this. This misery comforts me and excites me. It makes me laugh, laugh loud, and laugh so the underworld shatters and topples.

Please, please be this way--torturing yourself, just like what I am doing.

I push the bedroom door. Squeaking. My heart pounds fast, and it is getting even faster.

“Darling, let’s go to the planetarium tomorrow. I heard that there is a nice show.”

 A man’s voice, deep and gentle.  This voice triggers me. His voice haunts me, somehow it drives me to twist his neck, take his throat and smash it till no complete flesh left. I want to smash the door, but I cannot. My arms can go through everything in a ease. And I hate this feeling.

“Sure, are you going to take me to the nice cafe next door. ”

I took her to that cafe for our first date. Rage surges in my throat. I want to tear her as well.

“I’m planning for the better. You will find out tomorrow.”

His voice is too familiar to me. I push the door open.

It’s Kylen Wilson. My best friend from college.  Someone used I to know.

For the very first time of my ghost life, I faint.

When I wake up, the sun streaks through the filthy windows. Through the windows I see Janelle and he walks past the tombstones. The ONLY good thing about being a ghost is the ability to move swiftly.

I follow them up to the city.

Of course, they go to the planetarium. Then, I follow them up to the CD store.

That CD store is the ONLY ONE in New York. the store is faintly lit with warm light, classical music is nicely played along with the whole wall of CDs from the past time. I used to love that store so much, and I even write it in my future romance diary, which is a very stupid diary filled with my future plan with Janelle.

He plays the music. Everything seems familiar again. The planetarium, the CD store, and the music. This is not LIKE the diary, this is the diary! That judas steals my girl and everything. I am going to pull out his gut and chops it into pieces. I am going to make him torture so much. NO! The next page of the diary is making a proposal. He is not going to steal my proposal.

I make up my mind--I am going to kill him. TONIGHT! AT THE HOUSE!

Back to home, I choke back my nausea when seeing them intimate. Oh, Jesus! She must have prayed me to become this in order to kiss him. Now, I am stuck at this darned world.

I MUST KILL HIM!

I wait till the light goes off. Then, I curl up besides Kylen and wait to stab him with my dagger brought from the other world.

“I know your existence from the beginning” the deep voice again.

“Jim”

Electric shock goes from my head to toe. I try to hold my breath so he could not hear. This is the first time I am afraid of being known since I my change.

“I know your existence from the beginning” deeper and more serious

“I must kill you. You know this as well?” I have to say something, and I am a ghost, he cannot do anything to me.

“No, I can kill you deeper, Jim.”

I do not know how long has passed before I wake up in a bizarre environment. There is my diary besides me.  I write an account of everything. I do not know what is happening, but I am getting softer and soft.....

THE END OF THE DIARY

Sun strikes on the window again. Janelle wakes up in the morning with the horrific, thick, icy blood on the sheet flooding  all over her slender body.

THE END