TW // blood, death

“Trust me.”

“Forever.”

“Best friends.”

And now, I wonder where she went. I choose her. She choose me. We were supposed to be best friends forever and grow up together. If she had a kid she would name it after me as I would also name mine after her. 

“Trust me.”

“Forever.”

“Best friends.”

And now, my soul shatters whenever I look at pictures of us. When I hear those words, my heart wrenches in pain. Broken, that was what I was because when she said, “forever,” I thought she meant it. I trusted her. Even as the nights are long, while the clouds shift in the sky, I wonder if we are watching the same thing wondering, “where is she?”

“Trust me.”

“Forever.”

“Best friends.”

Her words were so sweet yet so bitter like when you smell cinnamon or vanilla extract with the delightful smell filling up your nose, but when you take a bite or sip out of it, bitterness runs through your tongue. That is what her words were like. Her words were delicate and beautiful. Each one descended into my hand like snowflakes, each one building up and blossoming, entering my mind. All of our memories were sprinkled and broken into shreds, while I tried to pick up her words and convince myself, that she still is my best friend. 

“Trust me.”

“Forever.”

“Best friends.”

~~~

“Alice?” A voice echoed into my ear. I turned around. It was her. After 10 years, it was her. 

“What do you want?” I asked. 

“It’s been how long?”

“10 years, 6 weeks, 4 days, and 2 hours, but who’s counting?” Anger had filled up my eyes and taken over all my emotions. 

“I just- I’M SORRY!” She lunged forward and hugged me and her tears were making waterfalls. 

“Trust me,” “Forever,” “Best friends,” her words pounded into my head more than ever. 

“You told me forever. Is this what you call forever?” I shoved her back.

“Please. Let me explain.”

“You have 5 minutes.”

“After I had met my boyfriend, he got cancer. The hospitals weren’t able to take care of him so we had to move.”

“And you didn’t text me?”

“PLEASE LISTEN!” Her eyes were swelled with tears and her nose was hot red. “When we landed in the airports, all my contacts had been lost.”

“That makes no sense.”

“I know it doesn’t but that’s what happened and I wasn’t able to contact you after that.”

“So, it took you 10 years?”

“We had no money to fly back because of his treatment.”

None of it added up. “Tell me the truth right now!”

Her face turned hot pink, and I could easily tell she was lying. “I said, tell me the truth right now or I’m leaving, and I will never talk to you, again!”

“Goodbye then,” she whispered to me. 

“Be ashamed. Be very ashamed!”

She bit her lips and walked away. I knew she was lying. “I hate airplanes. I would rather walk and swim across the sea than go on one.” I remember her saying. My legs pushed me towards her, I was following her now. She turned to an alley. Rotting garbage and musty fabric sufficed the air as I could hear wind scraping trash into corners. Crunch, I had stepped on soda bottles. I quickly hid behind an old piece of cardboard. 

“Did you say your goodbye?” I heard a gruesome voice mumble. 

“Please, can I have more time?” Her voice trembled. 

What was happening? I thought.

“No,”

“Please!”’

I heard a slash followed by screaming. And, when I looked up I saw a pool of blood. I jolted with fear as my eyes filled with water. No, no, what is this? I thought. I heard a high shrill that soon turned to dead silence. I peaked up and saw her body, caked with blood. I fumbled to pick up her body, my hands now soaked with blood. She was gone. Gone forever. My tears mixed with her blood, but I could still hear her words. 

“Trust me.”

“Forever.”

“Best friends.”

Having her as the key to my heart and healing my wounds led me to her. During the dark moments in my life, she was the moon that shone brightly in my darkness. No, she did not show me the way to the light but stayed with me in the darkness. So, how am I supposed to find my way out now if I can’t have her? I couldn’t bring her back, all I could do was marvel at our memories and how she painted my soul bright colors and show it off to the whole world. Her smile and her warmth reached to the very depths of my soul. In the same way such things as butterflies have wings, she had the brightest.

“Trust me.”

“Forever.”

“Best friends.”

I found a piece of paper crumpled in her hands that was saturated with blood, but I took it out and read it. 

I’m sorry, it read. I’m sorry for leaving you. I was captured to do human tests on. I wanted to see you so badly but I couldn’t. Today was the only day I could come and see you. I searched the whole world and had to go on stupid airplanes. They are planning on killing me because I’m useless now and they don’t want me to leak the secrets of this place. I’m always with you, okay? Just remember to trust me because we will be best friends forever. You were my light, and you always will be. We have memory and love, so there is no loss. 

I stood there silently ashamed of myself. “Be ashamed. Be very ashamed!” the last words I had said to her, and now the only words floating around be head. Now the words she said to me, but the words I chose to say because I couldn’t forgive anyone after her. I found the knife on the floor and without thinking I stabbed my heart and the pain surged through my body. 

“Trust me.”

“Forever.”

“Best friends.”

Yes, we will be together forever, I thought to myself. 

“Trust me.”

“Forever.”

“Best friends.”