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Lost Without You- Monologue from Holding Up The Universe
Set Instructions: In a dimly lit school bathroom, Libby stands looking at herself in the mirror. Libby is about 17 years old and is wearing dark jeans with a new sweater her dad just bought her. She is a little overweight and has a low self-esteem because of it. The stage has a sink with stalls lined up behind it with sharpie written all over them. The bathroom is like most school bathrooms- small, gross, and smelly. The mirror is cracked through the middle. Libby has tears down her face and red puffy eyes. The mascara she put on the morning is now rubbed up and down her cheeks. She is upset because she feels that she doesn’t fit in with everyone at her high school, and she has yet to get over her mother unexpectedly dying. Her back is facing the audience with a picture of her mom in her hands; they see her face in the mirror. The light shine on her back and the mirror as she rubs her face with her hands.
Monologue: (she says to herself in the mirror) You’re fat. Ugly. A nobody. You don’t deserve to be here. To be at school with all the beautiful perfect people. You don’t fit in. You never will. (louder) Why? Why did you want to go back to high school so bad? Is it worth all the stares you get in the hallway? (looking down at the picture of her mother) I wish you were still here. If you had never died, I wouldn’t have gained all the weight. (looking back into mirror) If mom was still here, I wouldn’t have eaten my pain away. I miss her. (a tear runs down her face dropping on to the sink) I miss her more right now than I ever had before. She should be here to see me go to high school, prom, and graduate. She should be dropping me off at my dorm on the first day of college. She should be here right now. (beginning to cry harder) Please come back, Mom. I need you, I need you now more than ever. I read your favorite book every day. It makes me feel closer to you; It’s all I have left of you. It’s all I have left of my beautiful, beautiful mom. (holding the picture closer to her chest, as tears stream down her face) I still remember that day. The day they told me you weren’t coming back. (starts to pace back and forth) I was so confused with my life. It was like I lost my best friend, the only person I could tell everything to. (louder) I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I don’t know how much longer I can do this without you. (quieter) I just don’t know anymore. (turns on the water and splashes face) I should just go home. It’s not like anyone would ever notice. I’m the new girl. The ugly new girl that no one will ever like. I should have listen to Dad. (stares at herself in mirror) You should have stayed in bed today. You should have stayed in bed and eaten all the food in the house. Become huge and be torn out of your house again. You could become the fattest teen in America again. You should have stayed home. (starts running her hands through her hair) I’m just (pause) I’m just lost without you. (drops the picture and exits the stage as the lights dim)
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This monologue was writen from the prospective of the character Libby in the book Holding Up The Universe