The Virus: (Teaser for a longer book) | Teen Ink

The Virus: (Teaser for a longer book)

January 1, 2015
By Ronny BRONZE, Saint Clair Shores, Michigan
Ronny BRONZE, Saint Clair Shores, Michigan
3 articles 11 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I may not know who I was born to be, but I know who I am.&quot; <br /> (That&#039;s an original quote I&#039;m using in my book)


No one really knows who started it.

All we know is the first signs showed up somewhere in China. It was slow at first; a few people in a province got sick and died, then the doctors caring for them got sick, and so it spread. Within a year both Europe and Asia were completely taken over with it. Some people tried to escape the continent, but the governments shut down all ports and airports to contain it.
I was only ten when I noticed something was wrong in the world.
The stock market collapsed, and the president went into hiding. But not before he could declare Martial Law and block off all connections we had with other counties; all transport and trade.
But South America wasn’t so lucky.
A few of them managed to get out of Europe on private boats and land somewhere in Argentina. But on the way over some of them died from the virus and were dumped into the sea to avoid contamination, which just gave the virus the opportunity to infect the ocean.  Oddly enough it didn’t kill marine life, but sea water could no longer be filtered or drunk.
To this day the color of the ocean is no longer a clear blue; it’s murky and forbidding.
Once the virus started spreading in South America the military set up compounds; vast warehouses full of artillery, food, clothes and breathers. With some of our scientists in South America trying to contain the spread, we learned more about it. The virus was airborne, in the water, and in the air. Simply being in the same room as someone with the virus could infect someone, drinking water without first boiling and filtering it would to it too.
They also found out that some people had immunity to the virus, and these few were put in these special compounds to try and find a cure using their genetic code.
A year after it showed up in South America, guards on the border couldn’t hold back the hordes anymore; the virus started leaking into the U.S. I heard whispers between my parents that it started to mutate; it didn’t just kill people anymore. The people infected where being controlled by someone, or something. I wasn’t allowed to watch the news reports of them attacking people in the streets, but mom and dad were watching it constantly. The year I turned thirteen we were evacuated to Canada, since some people thought the virus couldn’t survive the cold weather.
But they followed us there.
On the way mom and dad came down with fevers; the first symptom of the virus.
That day the commander in charge of transport shot them himself and had their bodies burned in an effort to prevent a further spread. Somehow my brother and I didn’t get it, but we were put in the back of a truck alone for the rest of the journey to make sure.
He’s all I have left now; it’s just he and I.
I had another brother who as married and lived in Florida. But once the border between South America and the U.S. gave way we never heard from him again.
Mom and dad were pretty sure they didn’t make it.
The fourth year after it started the virus started to mutate even more. Dogs, birds, cows; every living animal got sick. Food started to be scarce if you didn’t live in one of the compounds, and weapons were even worse. People couldn’t survive without at least a gun, but all of them were being stockpiled by the military in preparation for a long war, so not many survived without help.

I’m eighteen now, and I live Compound M. with my brother Ian. I’ve seen some of what’s left of the world around our compound on missions I’ve gone out on, but my brother Ian doesn’t let me go out too far on any missions. Even though I finished first in my age group and I’m one of the best shots in the compound, Ian is still very protective of me and doesn’t let me out of his sight.
But I still I live in the hope that one day…I’ll be able to step out of the compound without a gun in my hand, and without the worry that at any moment I might be attacked.

Chapter One: My Normal


“Duck!” Ian shouts.
I drop to the ground and roll to the side. A split second after the bullet whizzes through the air over my head, a body thuds to the ground next to me. I look at the dead face of a boy who looks no older than me, but who has been so mutated by the virus that he’s barely recognizable as a human being.
Ian’s hand closes around my arm and pulls me to my feet, “You okay?” he asks.
I nod, “I never saw him coming.”
Ian takes a quick glance behind me and pulls his rifle close, “C’mon, let’s get back to the craft.”
I pick up my rifle from the ground where I fell and nod, “Okay.”



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This article has 12 comments.


on Jan. 27 2015 at 10:19 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Never fear shadows. They simply mean there&#039;s a light shining somewhere nearby.&quot; - Unknown

Aloha! Just stopping by. >.> "To this day the color of the ocean is no longer a clear blue; it’s murky and forbidding." For some reason this sentence is giving me chills at the moment. I feel like it's because it causes the reader to question themselves. Is the virus still here? Is this a real story? etc. "The virus was airborne, in the water, and in the air." This quote backflips on itself, meaning that it says the same thing twice. "They also found out that some people had immunity to the virus, and these few were put in these special compounds to try and find a cure using their genetic code." What, in specific, do they do to the people? Here's your opportunity to be gruesome. Even if you don't know much about genetics, make something up. It's science fiction, after all. And there you go, saying that the virus "controls people." I do have a question, though. Why isn't the girl allowed to watch the news broadcasts? Is it because of her parents? That might be a point you want to clarify. Another thing you might want to modify the placement of the mother and father's death. I know this is just a preview thing, but increasing the specificity will make your writing sound a lot more mature. Maybe add some material between the two deaths. When you mention all the animals getting sick, mention the marine animals, since you already mentioned them previously. Really intense beginning of a chapter! I'm excited to see what feedback you get on this if you publish it big-picture. Keep up the great work!

on Jan. 27 2015 at 10:18 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Never fear shadows. They simply mean there&#039;s a light shining somewhere nearby.&quot; - Unknown

Aloha! Just stopping by. >.> "To this day the color of the ocean is no longer a clear blue; it’s murky and forbidding."

.king. SILVER said...
on Jan. 25 2015 at 5:53 pm
.king. SILVER, Yeux Bien Tres Bien, Other
9 articles 4 photos 569 comments

Favorite Quote:
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡&deg;)

This is Awesome!

on Jan. 24 2015 at 8:28 pm
KyleeTraynor BRONZE, Redmond, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I am myself and no one can change that.&quot;<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> ~Kylee T.

Omfg I want MOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on Jan. 19 2015 at 10:51 am
Crystallite BRONZE, Santa Elena, Other
2 articles 2 photos 347 comments
omfg this is very good. Right from the start you caught my attention and held it throughout the entire thing. But this is very good. I couldn't have done better myself. it is penned perfectly in my opinion and nice job in bringing your ideas to life through your excellent wording and descriptions. Nice plot you have so far. I especially like your introduction and your explaining in such excellent detail of how it all started. And so far I am liking this very much. I so want to read what comes next :D Very good job!

on Jan. 18 2015 at 11:59 pm
BreeZephyr SILVER, Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
7 articles 0 photos 84 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him...it&#039;s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves.&rdquo; - Orson Scott Card, Ender&#039;s Game

Well, both the Walking Dead, an extremely popular tv show, and the Maze Runner series, which is a ya fiction best seller, have zombie apocalypses caused by viruses.

Ronny BRONZE said...
on Jan. 18 2015 at 8:18 pm
Ronny BRONZE, Saint Clair Shores, Michigan
3 articles 11 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I may not know who I was born to be, but I know who I am.&quot; <br /> (That&#039;s an original quote I&#039;m using in my book)

Thanks for the imput...but i actually don't know the other story you mentioned above. Could you tell me which one it is? Cause I'm NOT trying to copy anyone. I've actually never watched a zombie ANYTHING in my life, so i don't know what i might be getting close to.

on Jan. 18 2015 at 7:06 pm
BreeZephyr SILVER, Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
7 articles 0 photos 84 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him...it&#039;s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves.&rdquo; - Orson Scott Card, Ender&#039;s Game

First of all, I love this intro! It's very intriguing, and it pulled me in. That being said, this is reminiscent of a zombie apocalypse sort of story, which has, as you probably already know, been done before, so make sure that you add something new to the ideas you've shared so far and think through the ideas you've got very carefully. A few examples to jog your imagination: -For example, what do the "missions" that the main character (I never saw a name mentioned) mentioned entail--in other words, what about these missions areso vital that these people dare to go outside if the virus is indeed airborne? -...And if the virus is airborne, would Ian and his brother need masks or protective suits when they left the compound? Where would Compound M get such equipment? Will the inhabitants survive if this equipment runs out? (This could be an answer to the question posed above.) -Why does the virus cause people to lose their minds and attack others? I think an interesting idea could be that it causes them to lose their memories one by one until they lose what makes them human, and they become like animals, driven by hunger or blind fear, rather by the experiences and people that they've encountered throughout life (imagine what we'd all be like if we'd never had mentors or authority figures who'd taught us how to behave as we grew up!). That could open up some great questions about what it means to be human (and some great writing moments!). Sorry that's so long, but I can be long-winded sometimes. Again, I enjoyed reading this, and I wish you good luck! :)

on Jan. 14 2015 at 8:07 pm
CyberLynx BRONZE, Lansing, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;In order for one to know the world, one must first know oneself&quot;

Did I mention that it is very intriguing? It hooks you. Nice job with the intro.

on Jan. 14 2015 at 8:06 pm
CyberLynx BRONZE, Lansing, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;In order for one to know the world, one must first know oneself&quot;

That's a cool story line. Have you ever played Plague Inc.? It's a lot like that. Really good article. Please post more. Also, I'd really appreciate it if you looked at my page. I'd like to get feedback.

on Jan. 13 2015 at 11:47 am
CNBono17 SILVER, Rural, South Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 248 comments

Favorite Quote:
Lego ergo sum (Latin&mdash;I read, therefore, I am)<br /> The pen is mightier than the sword&mdash;unknown<br /> Don&#039;t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity&mdash;1 Timothy 4:12

One comment: sooooo glad that this is just a teaser and the real thing is longer! Well done!

Ronny BRONZE said...
on Jan. 12 2015 at 11:52 pm
Ronny BRONZE, Saint Clair Shores, Michigan
3 articles 11 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I may not know who I was born to be, but I know who I am.&quot; <br /> (That&#039;s an original quote I&#039;m using in my book)

Please leave feedback if you've read this! :) --Ronny.