I held the wilting red rose tightly in my hands and listened as the preacher continued on with his speech. I wondered if he said the same thing at all the other funerals. I let my head hang as he continued and I tried not to notice all the eyes that darted my way.
“Oh that poor family,” they whispered behind their fans. “First the mother goes crazy and now the father dies tragically. Those kids have had enough suffering for a lifetime.”
My heart clenches at the word father. They whispered behind my back hopefully going unnoticed, but I can here every mumbled word. I held back the tears stinging my eyes and held my head lower so no one would notice the tears that fell down my cheeks. I felt a flutter in my chest and began to feel nervous. No not now. I tell myself. Please not now.
“I bet the mother had something to do with his death.” One boisterous lady who was sitting a couple rows back said. She tried to talk quietly but I could hear all her words.
“They say she was a witch you know. They say the father kicked her right out and she cursed him. That’s why he died the way he did.”
I held the rose tighter and tugged at my dress. The fluttering in my chest grew, but I tried to ignore it. I looked over beside me to see if Louie had heard the woman. From his clenched fist and tightened expression, I assumed he did. I wiped away any tears still left on my cheeks and lifted my head. I watched as the preacher held the bible in his hands and recited what he needed to. I let my eyes wander and they lay upon the black casket covered in wilting flowers. Once again the tears stung my eyes and I looked away. That`s when I noticed the judge Silverman and his wife. His wife, who was fanning herself, stuck out like a sore thumb. She wore a pale pink dress with white trimming. Her hat consisted of a veil that almost hid her face. She looked on and acted as though she didn`t want to be here. I looked back over to the judge who was wearing a black suit with a light pink tie. His top hat was held firmly in his hands. I wondered why he had even showed up in the first place. My father hadn`t worked with him in years and he was the judge involved in my mother`s trial. A part of me despised his audacity but another was too sad to even care. He noticed my long gaze and turned his head towards me. I quickly looked away and continued to bow my head. I hoped deep down that the murmurs and the rumors would stop for today and I could grieve in peace but that wasn`t the case. It never was. Once again the fluttering grew in my chest and it felt heavy. Deep breath Katherine. I told myself. It’s almost over. I took in a deep breath and before I could exhale I heard another voice begin to whisper.
“Those poor children. I heard their grandparents didn`t even want them. I heard that they want nothing to do with their mother and those kids are too much like her.”
A man in a dark suit who sat close to judge Silverman and held a cane was the gossiper this time. I tried so desperately to ignore him knowing I would only get more upset but all I could was listen in. I tucked a strand of my blonde hair behind my ear and prepared myself for his tall tales.
“How are they like her? Do you think one of them is crazy?” the woman next to the man said. I tried to get a glimpse of her but she was sitting too far away for me to see. Despite her distance her voice seemed to carry.
“Well miss, I hear their mother wasn`t just crazy, oh, no. She could do unexplained things. Those kids sitting up yonder might be more like her then most of us think.”
I felt a chill run up my spine. I knew I wasn`t the only one who had heard the man and suddenly I felt everyone`s eyes darting in the direction of Louie and I. The fluttering grew again and the pressure made my heart pound. Nerves shot through my whole body and I wasn`t sure if I was going to pass out or run. A gentle breeze blew through the air and my hair danced along the breeze. All of the woman grasped their hats as the breeze picked up. The trees swayed and any loose blossom fell from their branches. The man with cane who was talking before gasped as his hat flew off his head. I turned back to see him picking it up off the ground. Oh, no. I began to feel even more anxious. Keep it together! Don`t lose control. You can get through this. I tried to reassure myself. You can get through this. I told myself again. The wind seemed to calm down and the trees no longer swayed. As I began to relax again I noticed my hand holding the rose had tightened into a fist. I opened my hand to find that the rose was in pieces. I felt that it was almost fitting that the rose be in the shape that it was because I knew that with enough force I to could fall into pieces. I held the pieces of the rose close to my heart.
“Now let us all bow our heads in reverence as we pray for the soul of John Hayward.” The preacher said and in unison everyone bowed or tipped their heads.
The preacher began to recite a prayer and I noticed Louie tapping his fingers. He seemed restless and like me he probably just wanted to be as far away from here as possible. I gave out a sigh of relief when I realized the funeral was almost over and I would be free of the constant rumors of the townspeople. Although this freedom would be short lived, it was well waiting for. After the preacher finished the prayer he began his closing remarks. I stood up from my chair and began to prepare myself for the end when I heard murmuring coming from the far left. I tried to tell myself to ignore it and with all my might I tried to. It wasn`t until I heard my name that my head shot in the direction of the voice. Even Louie noticed my sudden reaction and turned his head in the direction of the murmuring. The murmuring came from Judge Silverman. His was discussing something with a gentleman to his left. His wife stood on his left still fanning herself. The fluttering returned and I began to lose control of my thoughts and nerves. The wind began to pick up again and this time it played along my black dress. I noticed the small bits of hair that had not made it into the fancy hair arrangements adorning most of the woman`s heads flew aimlessly through the wind. Dresses began to fly up and some woman exclaimed and patted down their skirts before someone saw their undergarments. I listened closely as Judge Silverman continued to whisper to the man. I gripped the broken rose tighter. What was he saying? What could he possibly know that involved me? All the rumors that circled none of them singled out me so why was he? My thoughts and nerves whirled around my head as questions began to surface. The wind blew pages from the priest’s bible and caused him to lose his place.
I leaned in closer and grabbed the edge of my chair so I could hear any words Judge Silverman could be saying. My heart raced until finally I could make out what they were saying.
“Why would you think that? The boy is a lot more suspicious in my opinion.” The other man said. “I hear he has the temper of his father but with all the rage of his mother. Haven`t you been hearing about his constant run in with the law lately?”
Judge Silver shook his head. “I`m telling you the boy is fine. It’s the girl, Katherine.”
“But how can you tell?” the other man asked.
Judge Silverman leaned in closer and so did I.
“Her eyes! They are exactly like her mothers. Have you ever seen any that green before? They look unnatural.”
The other man looked my way and I quickly turned back around in my seat as my heart still pounded and my mind raced. He knew. Louie gave me a concerned expression and put his hand on my shoulder. He then leaned in close to my ear so only I could hear.
“Don`t listen to them. You are nothing like mom.”
I nodded and he went back to his proper stance. I closed my eyes again and tried to calm myself down. The wind was still hefty and the people were beginning to feel concerned. Everything will be okay. Everything will be okay. You are in control. You are in control!
“Thank you all for coming and helping this grieving family cope with the tragic loss of a father and son..” The preacher nodded towards the front row and left the stand. People came up to where we were sitting and shook our hands. My grandparents thanked everyone for coming as they descended towards us one by one. I tried as best as I could to act normally and I shook the hands of everyone and nodded at their well wishes. I was so lost in my actions that I hadn`t noticed who was next in line to pay their respects. I saw her plump figure and brown hair as she glided toward me. Mrs. Silverman nodded and smiled as her husband spoke on her behalf. She finally glided over to me and gave me a strange look. She nodded her head and walked toward the aisle. Judge Silverman finished up shaking Louie`s hand when he came over to me. Once again my heart pounded and I felt scared as he edged closer to me. The wind was still hefty and my hair blew all over my face. Since my left hand gripped the broken rose I used my other hand to greet people. As Judge Silverman grabbed my hand my dress began to fly up from the wind. I used my shut hand to weigh down my dress and shook Judge Silverman`s hand.
“Thank you for coming.” I said although I didn`t smile at him. He looked over to where my grandparents and brother were. He saw that they were distracted and pulled my arm so he could whisper something to me. My entire body exerted fear and the wind blew harder.
“I know what you are Katherine Hayward and unlike your mother running won`t be an option.”
I cringed at his words and clenched the rose tighter. My heart felt like it stopped and my whole body shook with fear. He let go of my arm and began to walk away. I stood in the same place in shock until I turned back to see him walking toward town. At that moment I fell in pieces and I had to sit back into the chair to support myself. Louie must have noticed something was wrong because he sat next to me.
“Hey? What`s going on? Is something wrong?”
I couldn`t meet his eyes but instead shook my head.
“I don`t know anymore.” I said trying to hold back my tears. Louie looked very concerned but was suddenly pulled away by our grandfather. I sat in the chair and tried to stop myself from shaking. The wind was out of control now and almost blew all of the flowers off of my father`s casket. Stop it! I told myself. Please stop.
I wiped away the tears that had escaped and tried to control my breathing. Suddenly I looked down at my clenched hand that still held the rose pieces. I slowly unclenched my fist and as I did the wind seemed to die down. My eyes grew wide as I looked upon what lay in my hand. The rose was no longer in pieces. It looked like I had just plucked it seconds before. The rose looked as if nothing had happened to it except for one detail. The rose no longer adorned its vibrant red color but instead shined black in the scattered light.