Chains


I peer into my eyes intently, studying myself. The dark brown outer ring of my iris surrounding the hazy, muddy grey is piercing. Unforgiving. “No one knows my pain…” I quietly whisper to her, my other self, leaning against the dark far wall. Sighing softly, I slowly slide down into a crouching position, head clutched in my hands. “accept for you, but you have stopped answering.” My… friends, have left me. Deserted. Some would be happy, as I knowledgably pretend to be. I’m good at that, pretending, but I only feel betrayed. They understood me, helped me. “Now I have no one, not even him.” I whimper pathetically. I fight it, but it wins anyways. The tears lazily slide down my face, slick and cool. I slump down to the floor completely. Defeated, exhausted, and thinking. Gorgeous, model, and beautiful are all words that I am labelled by. A delicious feast fed to my ears, devoured, but not tasted. “Your thick red hair, bright eyes and amazing figure… god Sage! I’m so jealous!” But no one is sincere, how could they be? Life is a stage, everyone with their assigned lines, and I am the only one without a script. No role, no part, no lines, but four walls. I have taught this before, to the leads, the main roles. They agreed with me, but their eyes said otherwise. “And maybe they were right.” The sudden thought startles me, sending my spinning mind into dangerous territories, uncharted, unexplored, unknown. The depths. I Spring to my feet, wild, crazy… hopeful. I gaze into the mirror again and smile hesitantly. I soon find myself laughing, gasping for breath. The tears sliding down my face are joyous, refreshing.
“Hhhmmmmmmm,” I sigh happily. I look up again and a horrified scream escapes my lips. “What the…” I stop mid sentence, mesmerized. “SNAP OUT OF IT!” I’m frantically screaming in my mind repeatedly. But the only thing I am able to do is stare. “COME ON! COME ON… MOVE!” I am frantic now. The tiny, bright silvery pin-prick of light has now expanded, filling the entire mirror with a rippling pulse. I can see a shadow of something moving within the mirror, as if floating through water, advancing towards me. I feel my heart drop to my stomach and numbness fills my mouth. The shadow emerges from the mirror, morphing from a dull black shapeless splotch into some sort of shiny metallic… my brain cuts off the thought as I realize what it is. “Oh my god,” I whisper, too stunned to move, to flee. But the trance is broken as adrenalin rushes through me, pushing every thought out of my head but running.
I turn on my heel and sprint one step towards the door, towards freedom, but it catches me and clamps down around my ankle. “oooahfff.” The air rushes out of my lungs as it pulls tight, sending me to the floor. “No! No please!” I scream desperately. It starts to slowly drag me closer to the rippling silver light that used to be my bathroom mirror. I claw at the ground wildly, trying to find something, anything to save me. I Turn and kick at the silver links, at the chains, but they don’t move. The more I struggle, the more I am bound. The frosty metal bites into my skin. Blood slowly dribbles down my leg, smearing streaks of red on the floor. I am unable to move now. “Ahhhhhrgggggggg!” I shout. Using the last bit of energy I have. “What’s the use of fighting?” the empty thought echoes around my head before everything goes black.
















***
“Sa-aage,” a soft voice calls out my name, enveloping me, comforting. I recall the panicked struggle; it washes over me like a dream, but the fear does not return to me in this tranquil place. There is no need to move, or run, no use to fight the buzzing numbness that has seeped into every crevasse of my brain. “Saage,” the voice calls again, this time more intense than the first. I squeeze my already closed eyelids shut tighter, ignoring the panicked voice, irritated. “Sage!” The voice shrilly screams at me, afraid, shattering the barrier I had allowed to enter my mind. My eyes quickly snap open, fast. “Ngaahhhhh,” I cry out as a light scorches my eyes and shut them once more. The buzzing numbness has turned into a pounding, unbearable pain. I slowly force my eyes open again, preparing myself for the overwhelming agony that I know is going to slam into me like a hammer. My eyes water as they adjust to the harsh glow. I don’t care about my surroundings, the pain is too much. “Sage,” the voice repeats, this time warningly. “Is that all you can say?” I croak out, exasperated at the voice, at my body still unmoving… “Sage,” the voice whispers, “you need to get up.” I abruptly realize that I am sprawled out across a glossy smooth white surface. Without moving my body, I tilt my head to the side to observe my surroundings. Vague gray moving shadows surround me on all four sides of this white, cubical, illuminated space, reminding me of the chains.
A shiver of fear runs down my spine, but I refuse to give into it. Making a split second decision, I decide to listen to the voice. “Probably the most stupid thing you’ll ever do,” I mutter quietly to myself. “and maybe the last.” The thought gives me determination to fight. Clenching my teeth, I spring up and ignore the pain. The edges of my vision are wavering in and out. Willowy whispers float all around the room, sounding like wind through the trees. A shadow moves towards me. I brace myself. But, the person stepping out of the gray vapor like mist is someone that I never would have expected to see. I can’t help it, my mouth drops open. “Hello Sage.” That sick, sweet honey voice fills the space. My cheeks flush with anger so I do the only possible, rational, thing. I spit at that beautiful face, and run. Thinking about his honey toned skin, bright green eyes and raven black hair… “Don’t do that to yourself Sage.” The voice comes out of nowhere, just how I feel about where I’m going. Nowhere. This space is huge and open. There are other illuminated places like mine scattered throughout, and in the middle of every single one looks like a lifeless heap of torn cloths and flesh. I shudder. “Take a left.” I don’t even have the energy to question the voice, I just run. Fear is the only thing keeping me going.
My heart feels as if it’s about to burst. My lungs burn and everything has turned into a pounding, dull numb aching. The voice has only given me one direction, left. So that’s the way I go. I have been sprinting for about ten minutes straight, and I have no idea how he didn’t catch up to me. Just thinking about Michal sends a sharp pain to my heart. “You’re almost there,” the voice informs me, sounding sad but relieved. I stop as I suddenly see a wall with a window. The sun shines through, casting odd patterns on the glossy floor. The never ending space is finally broken. I sigh, tired, weary and sore. “Okay now…” The voice is cut off and a loud crackling fills my head. “Ahhhhhhh,” I cry out in pain. That noise is the only thing I can hear. It abruptly stops, leaving my ears ringing. I clutch my head in my hands and stand there shaking. “You have to jump!” the voice screams in my head, breathing heavily. I wince at the pain that shoots through my skull. “What?” I say out loud, and then realize what this voice wants me to do. I glance at the window and wring my hands together. “Sage, I will catch you.” The voice says with such a passion that I am startled. “Okay, okay… I can do this.” I take a step backwards to get a running start and, “Wait!” That honey sweet voice fills the space around me, embracing me, causing me to pause. Not lifting my gaze from the window I icily shout, “What?” “I still love you Sage,” I take in a sharp, quick breath, my mission forgotten. “Wha.. what?” “It was a mistake! I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you.” Can this even be real? I ask myself, yearning for his promises to be sincere. I can hear his footsteps approaching me from behind. “Sage jump! Please,” the voice is desperate. I wince from the sound in my head. “Your voice, will not help you.” He says mater of factly, “You do not know it like you know me. It will not be there to catch you.” Suddenly sure of my decision, I turn around towards Michal. As he smiles warmly at me, I know my decision is the right choice. “Thwack!” the sound of my slap reverberates through the space. I can almost hear the voice smile. Taking a deep breath I close my eyes and throw myself out the window.













***
As I open my eyes, I observe my surroundings carefully. The white tile stained with my blood, pieces of mirror dusting the floor. I stand up, confident, a new person. I slowly stride out the door and don’t look back. My chains are gone.