Baby,do you dare to do this, I’m coming at you like a dark horse” we sang at the top of our lungs. It was a Saturday afternoon, Ellie’s music was blaring as she drove all of us downtown.
Mia sat up front next to Ellie. Ellie and I both loved her so much as the baby in the family for us girls. We didn’t count our little brother Austin for the fact that he seemed more mature than us at times for his age.
Our mom went to the shop earlier that day and signed papers for Mia to finally get a tattoo. So, all three of us girls decided to get matching tattoos before I left in a few days for Maine. I wanted to start a new life up there, free from school and other issues that had engulfed me lately. It was a chance to build something for myself.
The tattoo was originally Ellie’s idea but it wasn’t shocking since she has two already and I had four myself. Mia was nervous but I felt like she wanted it as badly as we did, to be connected on more levels.
“Hey, play Explosions! I need to get into the mood” I laughed.
“Girl, this is my truck. You no choose music.” Ellie said. I knew she was kidding though, she was just as happy as Mia and myself.
“Lilly, are you sure it won’t hurt? I mean I will still do it but I just need to know.” Mia had asked me. She didn’t look scared and I know she wouldn’t back down now.
“I told you, Mia. It all depends on where you get it. We are getting them on our sides so I don’t think it’ll hurt that much, you should be fine girlie.” I held her hand from the back and gave it a quick squeeze. I let go as soon as I saw the small shop up ahead.
In that moment, I knew how much this really meant to all of us. Ellie found a parking spot fast and all three of us girls jumped out of the car together. Mia was hyped up on sugar, maybe, but she hopped around and was laughing as we all made jokes. There was a set of steep stairs leading up to the shop and once I opened the door, the little bell rang at the top.
“Jeez Lily, you loud enough?” Mia laughed and made a face at me. I knew the shop and artists well since I had gone there for all four of my tattoos.
“Hi Zack!” I yelled at the middle aged man in the back. Even with the huge counter in the front, I could still see Zack’s face as he lifted his head and smiled.
“Well hey punks. Yeah your mom came in earlier and signed some papers. Let me guess, tattoos?” he already knew the answer but he wanted a good laugh.
“Of course! One last time before I leave?” I asked. Zack nodded his head and he asked us all to pull out our i.ds. I was the only one who really had my wallet on me since I offered to pay. Ellie and I handed ours over but Mia’s face suddenly turned white.
“You guys, I don’t have mine!” she whispered. Ellie and I shared a smirk and laughed.
“What’s going on?” Zack asked.
“Oh well, mom thought she might lose it so she gave it to me.” Ellie said as she pulled out the small piece of plastic. Mia punched both of us but laughed anyway.
The paperwork was easy to fill out considering that most of it consisted with questions based on “are you under the influence of any drugs?”, “Are you pregnant?,” “Do you have any diseases?”. We laughed as we circled no for every one and handed the clipboards back to Zack. He had all three designs already done and ready for the stencil.
“What do you three think about this?” he slid the design onto the counter so all three of us could see. The font was beautiful itself. “Thicker Than Blood, did you come up with this one Lily?” he asked me.
“No actually, Ellie and Mia thought of this idea all one their own.” I looked at them when I said this. The simple fact of Mia willing to help with the whole idea made me proud.
It wasn’t more than a few weeks ago that Mia actually started eating again. The cuts were disappearing from her wrist as she began to look healthy again. Her health was hard on all of us, especially Ellie and myself. Ellie had her own issues that were difficult but I think that is how the two came up with the idea. Thicker Than Blood was the truth when it came to us three girls.
“Okay, who is going first?” Zack asked us. We hadn’t really thought of that but I thought it should have been Mia. When I looked behind me however, Mia was standing apart from us looking down.
“I will, heck why not!” Ellie said. I guess she saw the look on Mia’s face too.
Zack motioned for Ellie to come behind the counter and she lifted up her shirt. We had all decided that our new markings would go on our upper sides. Zack sprayed her skin and then stuck the stencil on her skin. I saw my sister smile when she saw it in the mirror. She laid down and Zack motioned for Mia and myself to come over and watch.
We both sat down and watched as Zack dipped his needle in a container of black ink as the gun came to life. I watched as it pierced her skin and Mia twitched a little. By the time Ellie was done, Mia could not stop staring at it.
“Does it hurt?” Mia asked. It was always so hard to answer this question. Every time a classmate would ask me, I would simply say no. Mia was different though, she was my own sister.
“The initial prick will be a shock but after that it won’t hurt you that much. Same thing I told Lily for her first time.” Zack and I shared a smile when he had said this.
With this in mind, Mia took off her shirt and stood still as Zack pressed the stencil against her skin. I wanted to tell her not to be a baby but I thought better of it.
“How about we get starbucks after this, huh?” I asked her. Mia smiled as she laid on her side.
“What size?” she asked.
“I was thinking a venti mocha frappuccino with no whip and an extra shot of espresso.” I replied. It was her usual, something I could never forget.
The time flew by as Mia just laid there, paralyzed with the needle piercing her side.
“You are all done girlie.” Zack told her.
“Really, that was all?” Mia asked him. I smiled at this since that is what I asked him after he finished my first tattoo.
“Yupp, you are good to go. Wait to put on your shirt though.” Zack told her as he placed a black bandage over her skin. She moved next to Ellie as I began to take of my shirt. “Alright, lets do this Lily!”
I smiled, “One last time,” I said to him. The thought of that almost made tears escape my eyes but I refuse to have Zack see me break. “Hey, who knows, maybe I will come down for my birthday in a few months & visit you.”
“Oh shut up Lily. We all know that you are going to come down sooner than that.” Ellie told me.
I guess she was right. I promised my parents that I would come down and visit a lot but living 23 hours away would make it hard. As Zack laid me down on the black chair, Ellie, Mia, and I laughed to old childhood stories. But what was heavily weighing on my mind was that I was leaving them tomorrow. We told the different stories from when we were younger and laughed.
Zack was done with me before I knew what happened. As he placed the fresh bandage on my side he said, “I want to get a picture of all three of you girls first.” there was no argument with that. We all lined up and turned so the black bandage was showing.
The blinding flash of Zack’s ipad went off and we all laughed. I paid him as my sisters put on their shirts. I followed suit and we headed out the door.
The drive home was loud and filled with music and us trying to sing along. “Lily, stop! You can’t sing” Mia and Ellie yelled at me.
It was an on-going joke that we all shared. I tried to sing but ever since dropping out of choir, my voice seems to fail me and they were glad to remind me of this. I sang louder to the music until Ellie pulled into the driveway. Our house was a moderate size filled with messy rooms and toys from the kids our mom watches on a daily basis.
We shuffled inside the now quiet house. “Huh, I guess mom and dad are out with the boys. Do you guys want to help me pack?” I asked them. I knew they wouldn’t want to but I had hope.
“I was actually going to watch NCIS on your computer.” Mia said. The computer wasn’t even mine anymore. I told both of my sisters earlier that week that when I left, they could keep the dang thing.
Ellie just said no and both went upstairs while I went to get more boxes. Packing wasn’t a hard task considering that I could shove most of my belongings in only a few boxes. “Hey stinker.” I heard my dad say.
“Well look who is here. Do you have my car by chance? I kind of want to try and trade it in one last time before I leave.” I asked.
He smiled, “Oh well the thing is that we traded it.”
“You what!” I nearly screamed.
“Now hold up,” he laughed “You still have to take it to Maine with you but the guy said your new car will be ready in a week. So you can just come back down and do the trade then.”
I was to happy to listen to the rest of what he was saying so I just did what any eighteen year old would, I ran up and hugged him fierce. The rest of the night went by in a blur. We already had my going away party so my final day was just meant for my family.
“Lily, come on and wake up” I heard my mom whisper, “It is 4:45 am. You are going to be late for your last day of work.” at this I opened up my eyes and looked at the red numbers on my alarm clock. It was one of the only things that I refuse to pack up, that and my phone charger.
Getting up early wasn’t hard anymore, especially since it was my last day at work. I put on my dark pink manager shirt and black pants. My headlights shined on the pitch black road ahead of me. Work was slow and sad at first. None of my friends really showed up till I was about to leave.
“Lily!” multiple voices yelled. I turned and saw a big group of teenagers. Some of them were in the black uniform and others were in street clothes. I almost cried at the sight of all my friends standing there.
“Come here, Lily.” the girl in the middle said. It was one of my best friends, Katie. I clocked off and ran into her arms. Soon, I felt a mixture of arms and hands engulfing me in a group hug. Some of the girls started to cry as a tear escaped my eye.
“Hey, I am coming back soon.” I said. I didn’t know if that was true or not but I did know that I would miss them.
Our group went around the corner and we stood there and talked for over an hour. The group dwindled down until the closest of my friends were left.
“Lily, you aren’t leaving.” Tyler said. He looked serious but I just smiled and hugged him.
“I love you all. Though seriously, I have to leave in the next two hours so I have to get home,” it was hard saying goodbye to all of them “I will text you guys when I get there.”
I left quickly, without looking back. When I got home, I found my mom and gave her a big hug. Neither of us could hold it in anymore and we both just stood there and cried. “Mom, I am going to miss you!”
“I know baby girl. Remember that God has a plan for you, ok?” she whispered to me.
That night was full of laughter and some chicken. I loved chicken so it was a great send off meal. I had a tugging feeling in my gut, something big was going to happen but I didn’t know what. My family helped me pack all of my boxes into my tiny car. It was a tight fit but we made it work. Goodbyes seemed to last forever.
I hugged my mom first, I held onto her the longest, leaning into her shoulder. My dad engulfed me in his arms and let go, pretending that he was still the tough Marine I always knew him as. All my brothers and sisters gathered around me and we all smiled. It was peaceful but sad at the same time. “Lily honey, you better go or you will be late.” my mom said.

I knew she was right, it was time.
I looked in my rearview mirror as I saw my family and my house grow farther and farther away. My music was the only sound in my quiet car as I stared ahead at the road. The moon was starting to come out but I wasn’t tired.

I was one of the only cars on the road. Heading north soon became difficult. I saw a multitude of signs. They marked the different states, restaurants, and inns that I could have gone to. I should have pulled off from the road and stopped in but I was to excited to see my new home.

Finally, I saw the one sign that I was hoping for WELCOME TO MAINE it said. “I am here!” I shouted to myself.

Within thirty minutes however, I saw little white flakes falling down. The air grew colder as the snow came down heavier. My windshield wipers soon were turned on to full as they tried to keep the snow from blocking my way to my goal.

The road turned more into a narrow stretch of white that was spotted with black from the pavement. My car was under my control as I steered cautiously. There was a patch of white that seemed brighter than the rest. Flat to the ground, I didn’t think much of it the my tires moved over it.
The tires spun as the car swerved to the left and right, spinning out of my control. In a flash, I saw something dark slam into the side of my car making the car flip into the air.
I screamed as I felt like gravity had failed me. Everything went black.
I saw a bright, white light and the darkness again. My head hurt and I couldn’t move my body. The sun was coming out but I saw no one. When I looked straight, all I saw was the snow and the road. There was one thing that was different though.
Red stained the pure white snow. I tried to see where it came from but when I tried to lift my hands, they seemed wet. I strained to look at my right hand, it was no longer a flesh color but a deep red with angry wounds.
I tried to cry but I couldn’t gather any water. My head began to feel heavy again when I saw more red but then a blue.
It was a car!
All I heard was screaming, “Help” I managed to whisper.
The white snow began to quickly fade. The red seemed to be growing till that too was gone until I was left with blackness. Soon the earth swallowed me whole.


The blinding light was soon hitting me in the eyes again. A hospital? No.
I looked around and saw nothing but a pure white light. “Hello?” I yelled
There was no answer.
My head no longer hurt. I looked at my hands but found nothing wrong. I started to walk until my side was hit with a sharp pain. I then noticed that I wasn’t wearing my own clothes. I was in jeans, a gray shirt & a thin black jacket. I lifted up the jacket and shirt to see my side.
It was writing on my side. It seemed familiar but from what? Thicker Than Blood it said. It seemed like a deep cut that wasn’t healing properly. “What is this? Hello, is anyone here? I am scared.” I said again, and again no answer was given.
All of a sudden my body jerked forward. I saw snow again. I was on the side of a road. It wasn’t cold or windy. I heard a commotion behind me and sirens. My body shivered and suddenly a car hit me.
By hit, I mean it actually went right through me. I screamed loudly but no one looked at me. When I turned around I saw a car mangled and flipped with wires protecting it. A few feet away from the damaged car, there was a flood of police officers and people in dark uniforms.
“What is going on?” I asked. No one turned around or answered me. Did they not hear me? “WHAT IS GOING ON?” I shouted this time but again no reaction. I started to walk closer. As I got closer to the workers, the writing started to burn farther into my skin.
I moved through the men and saw red splattered the snow. What happened here? My eyes then laid upon a body that was face down on the ground. My eyes started to tear up but I tried to hold it in. I moved around the body but it still seemed as though no one noticed me. Crouching on my legs, I bent over and saw that it was a girl. She had dark brown hair with red it in. I guess that was from the blood.
When I bent down lower, I saw her face. Aside from the gashes and blood that trickled down, I seemed to notice her. She seemed so familiar.
“Sargent! I found a wallet and phone. It says that her name is Lily Erics. She is from Missouri, sir.” a young man said.
I feel to my knees, onto the blood stained snow. The tears finally broke my dam and came rushing out.
My name is Lily Erics. She is me.


I sat there and cried harder than I ever had in my life.
No.
This wasn’t my life anymore. My life is now over, and I am now dead.
I lifted myself up off the ground and ran. I almost fell again but I kept running, running away from myself.
All that I saw while running was the road ahead but that suddenly turned into a wider road. The sirens and yelling was gone. I knew this street though, it seemed so familiar.
“Where am I now! What are you doing to me?” I yelled to anyone who would listen.
The street was quiet and I walked down it, tears still streaming down my face. I felt my heart tugging me to the last house on the street. It was large and yellow with a few cars in the driveway. I slowly walked up and wiped my wet face. I tried to push the door open but instead of pushing it open, I nearly fell through.
When I looked behind me however, the door was still shut. Oh my gosh! I can walk through stuff!
Shut up Lily, you’re dead remember.
I was dead and now I was in a strangers home.
A rush hit me in my head and knocked me to the floor. I grabbed my side and lifted up my shirt to see the writing burning red into my skin. I stayed there until I heard crying.
I moved out from the room and I saw a woman falling to the floor in what looks like her husband’s arms. They both cried loudly until a monstrous sound came from up the stairs. I stood there as four children came down and saw the couple.
“Mommy don’t cry” the youngest one said. He couldn’t have been more than 12.
“Oh shut up Josh!” said one of the girls.
“Mia, do not tell Josh to shut up” said the oldest girl. Alright so there was a Josh and a Mia but who were the other two?
“Ellie, just stop. Mom, dad what is going on?” said the oldest of all.
“All of you STOP!” yelled the dad, “Jeremy, take them upstairs or something.”
I didn’t know these people. “Why am I here! Who are they?” I yelled into the sky. The family didn’t even look at me. All I knew was that there was a Jeremy, Ellie, Mia, and Josh. Why would I care though?


“It w-w-aa-s.” it seemed as though the mom couldn’t say what was wrong. I kept thinking I knew them though.
“Lily,” was all I heard before I fell from the pain of the writing again.
“She was in a car accident. A hole or something in the ground. Her car flipped you gu-ys” the dad said. He wasn’t just a dad though, he was my dad.
This was my family. This was my family that was crying right now.
“Is she alright? MOM!” Josh yelled.
Ellie held him close as she started to cry with Mia. They held each other as I just stood there.
“Is she dead?” Jeremy asked. My body lurched forward as the writing burned. My head swam as memories came to my mind.
“Mom! Dad! You guys, I am right here, please don’t cry!” I tried to say.
I looked around trying to figure out what to do. Tears wouldn’t stop coming out of me.
“It’s alright, Lily.” said a small boyish voice behind me. I turned and saw a small boy with red curly hair. His eyes were a deep green and he had a soft face. He looked only to be three but talked like a teenager.
“You don’t remember me do you?” he ask, “I’m Devin.”
When he said this I rushed up and hugged him. I knew this boy, he was right when he said that I should remember him. It was my other brother. He was the youngest out of all of us kids. My mom had a miscarriage later on with him. It tore all of us up.
“What is going on?” I asked him.
“I asked that too before, He said I had to stay down here. He said that you would be coming soon and that you wanted to see me.” Devin smiled, “It has been awhile for you but trust me, it seems short on this side.”
“Then why am I here?” I asked. I was ready to cry again.
“Well, He wanted you to see what happened. You had a big impact on everyone, Lily.” he squeezed my hand hard, “He wants me to show you what happened with your family and friends.”
Without knowing it, we both moved forward to my old work place. It was later in the day and Devin was still holding my hand. Devin lead me straight through the door as I saw the place almost empty. I instantly recognized all of the faces. My friends were gathered around one of the managers who was crying.
“Did they just find out?” I asked Devin.
“She did, yeah. Your friends are about to find out now.” he told me. I stared straight at them.
Within minutes I saw that their faces were changing. The people that I once looked to for laughter and relief now looked sad and depressed. Katie walked away first crying. I rushed to try and follow her. She was in the crew room on the floor. Her back was against the wall and tears streamed down her face.
“Hey honey, no please don’t! I’m right here Katie.” I knew she couldn’t hear me but I needed to try.
“Katie.” Tyler came in and hugged her.
“You guys I’m fine. There wasn’t that much pain. Katie it is alright, everything is allright.” I began crying myself. I couldn’t tell them that I was fine, I couldn’t hug them one last time. I was seperated now. “Devin can we go?”
He already had my hand in his again as he lead me away. I blinked but when I opened my eyes and we were on another road. I looked at Devin and he had changed into pure white clothes. “Where are we now?” I asked.
“Lily, this is the end.” he said simply. I had a peaceful feeling when he said this.
“But, will everyone be okay? Please, Devin do you know?” I pleaded.
“Honestly, yes. It is hard to hear but you are going to be missed. Lily, you were a beautiful light whether you believe it or not. That is why He wanted me to show you all of this. You were and still all loved Lily.” He hugged me tightly and I finally gave my brother an honest hug.
When I looked down to kiss his head, I noticed that I was dressed in pure white as well. A single tear ran down my face as I picked up my little brother like he was really only three. Devin didn’t protest at this but I started to walk with him.
“Lily, I am tired.” he whispered.
“I am too bud. Lets go home.” I knew that I was right. Devin seemed to fall into a sleep as I kept walking.
Soon the dirt road that I was walking on started turning white. Devin never got heavy to carry but as I walked, the light that was ahead was getting brighter until I could feel the welcoming shine.
“We are home, Devin.”