Possession
I should have known at that precise moment that he’d be the end of me. I should have seen that glint in his eyes and that mask he was wearing. Behind a sweet smile and bright blue eyes was a monster, posing as a polite man. He was a solider turned business man after a massive war. He was charming and rich. I knew my father would approve. For months I had been nagged at to find a husband before I became an old maid. I just couldn’t find a suitor worth taking, so I gave up on my hopes of becoming a young aristocratic like everyone wanted.
Oh, it must have been those eyes. Those blue eyes reminded me of the sea that mother would take me to every summer. The waves would crash and I would stare in amazement. My mother told me mermaids lived in that sea, and if I was patient I could see one someday. I never saw my mermaid, but those days were amazing. Two years later mother died, but the sea is something that still lingered inside my heart. Oh, those eyes reminded me of a happy time and I craved for it.
As you can imagine I was pleased when he helped me with my bags and kissed my hand. We talked the whole ride to Calvin manor where I got off, but before I departed I gave him my address. He simply smiled and slipped the paper with his in my jacket pocket.
For months we wrote letters. I swooned every time I saw his name etched on parchment. When we could meet again I was thrilled. He came to our manor. My father loved him and so did I. He gave his consent to let us be married. I was so happy when he took my hand in marriage, but dark days were to come.
My bridesmaid Annabelle was worried for me and warned me that he had a reputation. He had a wife before. The alarming part was she vanished. Before she vanished though she started acting strange. The townspeople could hear her screams and chants. They saw her with her hair in knots, and her wearing torn dresses. I couldn’t bear to hear that though, so I didn’t listen. Oh, how I wish I listened.
Those first few months were glorious. He took me to the theater and bought me glamorous dresses. He let me wander through the gardens. For that short while I was proud to be Mrs. Dimmel. Yet then I started noticing things. I noticed how he would never let me into his study, and how he always entered his study with this look of anticipation on his face.
When I asked him, “Why are you so happy?”
He would just smile and replied, “Oh no reason dear.”
I just let it slide and smiled at him, although secretly I was thinking about the study.
The hours of love didn’t cease yet though. At night he would please me, in the morning he would sweetly kiss me, and in the afternoon he would take me to the town. I would be bought glorious trinkets and dresses made with the finest martial. Oh, how I loved him, too bad he had to change or rather too bad something changed him.
The trouble seemed to be creeping closer. I would ease drop on him when he was in the study. I would hear him talking. I thought it was to himself, but it seemed like someone was talking to him.
“Yes, yes I know.” I would hear.
“Yes, it must be done, but it wears on me. I can’t. I can’t! I can’t!” he’d cried.
I would just be left puzzled, wondering what he couldn’t do. I’d sneak back to the bedroom and pretend to be sleeping. I started to notice a pattern. He would creep through the halls at 11:58 every night going to his beloved study. He would return precisely at 1:02. I needed to know what was happening, so I kept ease dropping and pondering on the voices.
The voices were consistent until one night.
“Must I? Must I?” he asked, pain was in his voice.
“If I must, will I finally be free? I must get away. Oh please, at least let me escape.”
“Yes, I’ll do it, possess me.”
The clocked started to chime as it did every night. I started to creep back to the bedroom, but the clock must have been off as it sometimes was because I heard his study door creak open. I frantically ran down the hallway. He couldn’t know I was spying. I dashed in the room as I heard his footsteps looming closer. I pounced on the bed and threw the covers over me. I could see from the dim lighting that he had a sinister smile upon his face.
He moved over to the bed. My mind screamed danger. My reflexes told me to run. I couldn’t though or he’d know. Oh, he’d know I was spying on him. He shook me violently. I pretended to wake up crying. He, with his sinister smile looked at me with rage in his eyes.
“Hello my darling. I’d hate to wake you, but you see I must do something.”
He pulled a knife out of his pocket and slowly cut it my arm. I cried from the pain.
“There, there, my darling. You have sometime left. It doesn’t hurt that bad. Now does it?” he asked.
He began to cut the knife in deeper until I whispered, “No, it doesn’t my love.”
“Well then you can take a tiny bit more. Can’t you? Can’t you!?” he yelled.
“Yes, my love.” I cried.
“Oh, what a good girl.” He praised, mockingly.
His eyes that once reminded me of a happy time now frightened me. It seemed like hours that his glaze rested upon me. It seemed like torturous hours that his knife lay in my skin, but in reality it lasted minutes. He finally withdrew the knife. I saw in his eyes a look of glory.
“Now sleep my love. The job has been done.” He crawled into bed and closed his eyes. I couldn’t sleep though. I tore off a strand of my night gown and wrapped it around the cuts. I couldn’t help, but let the tears drip down my face. I saw the blood soak through my wounds. I wondered how I went so wrong.
The next morning I woke up to the smell of eggs. He brought in a breakfast tray and smiled at me.
“Good morning my love.” He greeted as he handed me the tray.
I couldn’t help but tremble when I saw those eyes. I took the tray though as he gently helped me up. He gasped when he saw the cuts.
“Darling, How did this happen?”
“You did it.” I sobbed.
“No, no I couldn’t have. I was in my study all night. No, no I couldn’t have!” he cried.
He turned away and started rambling.
“I couldn’t have. I couldn’t have, but what if I could have. No stop that, stop it! Quiet yourself. You are innocent, innocent! She is not loyal. She doesn’t believe us. She could have done it to herself. Yes, that’s it. She is making you look bad to manipulate you. She wants more of your money. No wait, she wants your estate. She will claim abuse, she’ll say something. You’re innocent! We can’t be found guilty. You’re innocent!”
He turned around and came towards me like a hissing snake, ready to bite. I saw such anger in his eyes as he stared me down.
Move body move! I screamed to myself. Yet my legs were stiff. I could barely breathe. I couldn’t even scream as he slapped me.
He grabbed my hair and screamed, “Traitor, you traitor! You deserve this!”
My once sweet husband swung his arm towards me. The force of hit made my stomach cave in for a split second. I was trying not to cry, but the tears fell anyway.
“Why are you crying!?” he screamed, “You have no right to. You earned this.”
“No, no I didn’t you. You need help. You did this, not me. I don’t want your land. I just want this to stop. Please listen.” I pleaded.
He put his hands around my wrist and started to twist.
“You did this! It had to be you! Don’t lie! Admit it.”
He kept twisting and twisting.
“Admit it, you did it!” He screamed.
In between my tears I stuttered, “Yes.”
He let go of me and stormed out the room. I knew that he would only get worse. I knew that my sweet husband was gone.
As time flew by, he grew angrier and angrier. I didn’t dare to spy anymore. If he caught me I would die. He kept hurting me time after time. I wrote to my father by he found my letter and tore it to shreds. He never let me write anyone again. His ranting got worse as well.
I would hear things like, “She is the enemy. You must do it. You must. You can get freedom, freedom from these women who try to destroy you. They are at fault. She wants your land. Yes, listen to me. You must finish it, but until you do you must lock her away. Yes, yes you must.”
I wondered, why me? Did I earn this? How could I have not seen this monster lurking in a man? All I wanted was out. I knew leaving the estate would be challenging, maybe even impossible.
For weeks I tried to find a way to escape as my torture grew. I felt lonely and abandoned as the pain grew. He stopped me from even leaving. The man who I once thought cared had locked the doors and hid the key. He sealed the windows shut and put dark material over them, so no one could see me. He kept hurting me. Every night it happened. I could tell I wasn’t wanted anymore. My hair was a mess. I had bags under my eyes. He tore up my dresses and made me wore torn dresses. I was forced to look in the mirror at myself. I felt like every ounce of beauty was taken for me.
The torture seemed to go on forever. There came hope though. He was going on a business trip, which meant I would be alone. I pretended to be meek and obedient. I took the abuse. I cleaned and dusted. I swept the floors, made the beds, and cooked the meals in hopes he wouldn’t catch on. When I did the laundry I spotted the key. I stole it and went to the kitchen. I made a mold for it out of soft dough. Then when it was done cooking I snuck it in my dress. I slipped the original key back in his pocket.
I heard him rambling. “Must keep her here, how? How? How?” he smiled and scurried to the study. He was so frantic he left the door open. I could feel a wind surrounding my feet as he chanted in a peculiar language. I could feel it, there was evil here.
He left that night. I had already packed a small knack sack with food, drink, the ring he gave me, my diary, and a few other odds and ends. There was a photograph of us together, trinkets of my mothers, the letters we wrote back and forth, and a necklace from my father in the sack. I took a deep breath and slowly walked to the door. I knew I would miss him, the old him. I just had to remember that he was gone. I would miss this house too. It was gorgeous. I would miss the paintings and the tapestries. I would miss the elegant mirrors. I would miss the joys that once lived here, but it was all gone.
I wiped away a tear and marched forward. I got to the door. I stuck in the key, but before I could turn it I heard a laugh. I turned around as lights flickered. The corridors became covered in fog. The laughter grew louder and louder until I could barely hear. I covered my ears. A tapestry fell from the wall and rolled towards me. I tried to dodge it, but it swept me up. I stood up again to see spirits of women screaming in the mirrors. Oh, I tried not to, but I screamed. The laughter ceased, but the woman began to wail.
The mirrors dragged on the floors towards me. The wails grew louder. I began to see myself in the mirror. My mouth opened and I began to wail with them. The mirrors circled me; the ghosts looked at me sadly. “Possession”, one whispered. I began to lose color. I struggled, but couldn’t move. I was becoming one of them. I remember the good times and began to sing a lullaby. I was trapped, I couldn’t win. My lullaby tangled with tears. It was hopeless or was it? I fought the spell and reached in my bag. I clung to a cross. They ghosts eyes filled with fear as I held it out for the demon to see. The mirrors fell. The lights still flickering grew red. Fog covered the halls. I couldn’t see the doors. I crawled in the direction that I remember the door being in. The demon kept laughing. I was slowed from my fatigue, but I had to make it. I continued, until I saw the brass of the door. I held out the cross again to ward off the demon. I turned the key. The door flew open. I flung myself out as the wind worked against me. I finally breathed. I was safe. I lifted myself up and started walking to the train station.
The train took me to the sea we vacationed at. I took off my shoes and let them feel the grainy sand. I watched as the waves passed. Nope, still no mermaid. I smiled and blew a kiss to the sea for mom. The ring he gave me was clutched in my hand. I was contemplating throwing it, but I couldn’t. in a way he still possessed me. I missed the man I once knew. I looked at the photo and smiled. Perhaps one day I will see him in the station again, I thought. Maybe I will look at him and see those eyes again. Yes, I will only look for the demon lived in him, but just looking might bring peace to my heart.