As I lead you up the flight of stairs to the top of the roof of this empty warehouse I know what you're thinking. This girl, she'll be the one that saves me. I can see it in your eyes as they gleam a bit too bright under the dim, hazy lights from the hanging stars who listen in on our hushed "come here's" and our almost "I love you's" with a mix of the flickering lamp lit streets that are so far below us we might as well be in our own small, isolated world. I brought you to the place where I like to let my thoughts roam I tell you and you think it's special, you think this is what you've read about, this is how it should be . But I'm lying you see. This is the place I pass by on the way to the subway every morning and I decided it was a good lock to jimmy. But you believed me. You soaked up every word. Now you're pulling me close and I'm humming some tune that we clumsily follow along to with our feet, our arms wrapped around each other, a clutch for us both, in different ways. I am your meaning. You are my morphine. I can almost feel the high as I lean in to kiss your lips and and you pull me in with such a longing that almost instantly I go numb. Your hands run through my hair and your lips search for the answers you think I have. And I give them to you with every soft nudge and delicate touch, I give you the answers you seek from me. The ones that give your life some substance. As if I could fix up the things broken inside of you, but I know I cannot. I cannot be the girl you wake up next to on Sunday mornings, only the one that keeps you crying on Friday nights. I cannot be the girl you take on strolls through parks on Saturday picnics, but I can be the girl who kisses you under the moon after you've had a bit too much booze. You see you're just my drug, one among many. Tonight will fix me, but only temporarily. I've brought you up to this rooftop to get my dose, but I'll leave before you wake up in the morning. Because tomorrow I'll have a new medication, your lips may have searched me, but that doesn't mean you found me. I'll be gone. This was only temporary.