I saw the orchids today. I leaned over and picked the largest one. I smelled it as a tear slid down my cheek. I thought of you. I thought of those sweet eucalyptus leaves. Fresh and sweet.

I bit the inside of my lip and felt the bitter tang of blood cleave the inside of my mouth. I tore the petals from the flower. One by one they floated to the ground. A breeze whipped around me. I threw my arms up and spun to meet it. The gale blew my hair out of my face. My cheeks flushed with excitement. This was how it felt. To be free from your grasp. To let you go. But the wind died down and I was left with a cold feeling in the pit of my chest. I left. Leaves swirling around my feet as my slow steps left the petals lying on the ground.

I was looking at your picture. I looked at your smile, the way it curled up in the corner as if you knew something I didn’t. I remember your smile. How you used to make me laugh. How when I cried you stroked my hair and told me that you would always be there. But when I turned, you weren’t there. I stared at the empty corner. I stared until it hurt.

I don’t remember how it started. I don’t remember why. I don’t remember the bitter pain. The sharp sting of your words. But where were you as the tears rolled down. I look for your face, but it dissipates in the fog. I, I loved you.

My heart shattered. Like glass in the wind, the shards cut my face, they burned my arms. Pain rolling up and down, but you were gone.

I remember the day we met, the sun beating down madly. Stumbling into you, I looked into your eyes. They held me by a spell. A trance. You swept up the flowers and brushed the hair out of my eyes. You placed the daisy behind my ear, and left your hand on my cheek. I close my eyes, thinking of your warmth, your touch.

I think of that date, the one in the park. We lay in the grass and talked about things. We laughed at my silly jokes. We talked about love. Sitting on Shutter’s hill, we watched the sunset. I watched the colors fade until the brilliant gold was gone. Wrapped in a velvet blue blanket with silver seams binding the world. You held me in your arms. Your warm embrace. My eyes closing, I remember walking by the stream in the moonlight, orchids lining the path. I laughed and looked at you. Dancing in circles in the soft patches of flowers. My bare feet twirling the cool dirt. Turning in circles. I told you orchids were my favorite. I told you about when I was little I would press them and grow little gardens of orchids. You laughed and my heart melted. You scooped up an orchid and pressed it into my hands. Then you leaned towards me. My heart stopped. I closed my eyes as you pressed your lips against mine. My arms were around your neck as we kissed. Nothing could have torn us apart.

When I go outside, I see the bouquet of orchids, rotten, wilting. The leaves crumbling, the petals dried up and unscented. The life sucked out. I left them lying on the street. And my eyes blurred with tears as I collapsed to the ground. The screeching of burning rubber against the rough pavement. I felt nothing as my world faded to white. A slow smile left on my face, the dead orchids crumbled to dust and floated away on the soft breeze and soared into the bright blue sky.