Am I really in Love? I ask that question to myself everyday. Do I love him? Or on the other hand, am I just longing someone to be with? How can I find the answers when the guy is sitting right in front of me? I can’t ask him, he’ll just laugh at me or not respond. I don’t know which is worse. I wonder what he is thinking, I wonder what is on his mind. I wonder what lies behind those dark brown curls and those soft green eyes. I wonder what would happen if I ever told him what I was thinking. I hope he would still love me even though I’m not sure if I love him. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to feel, I don’t know how to act, and I don’t know what is real. And there he is right beside me, holding my hand. Right beneath the bright blue sky out on the sand. I wonder what tonight would be like if I knew I truly loved him. But now I can’t decide what to do. I don’t know right from wrong. And all that’s left for me to do is last this whole night long.

Does she really love me? I can never tell. She just means so much to me ever since I saw her eyes. She transported me to this special place where she was strong and tall. And she told me what I wanted to hear. She said to me that she loved me. But I’m not sure anymore. One day she was staring at me with those soft brown eyes of hers. She stared for so long I felt that I could see her soul. Her mind was open and her face was sweet. I don’t think I’ve seen her like that since then. How can I ask her those questions I have? How can I tell her how I feel? Does she know that I’m in love with her or that my love is real?

I wonder what he will say when I tell him my feelings tonight. I wonder what his eyes will look like, surprised? Full of fear? Or fright? Maybe he will just be shocked or maybe he will cry. I just hope that what I do won’t make him want to die. I love him. I really do. But my heart is set on someone else. I don’t know how to tell him, that I just want to be friends, I don’t know what to say to him to make those requiring amends.

“Honey, I don’t know how to tell you this…”

“Carmon, I know what you are going to say.”

“Seriously dear, I need you to know. I need you to see. I need you to hear. I need you to listen to what I have to say. Because chances are that you won’t figure it out today.”

“Carm, I’m listening, I won’t laugh or scream. Just go on and tell me cause I don’t know what to feel.”

“Alright now, here it goes. When I first met you, your eyes made me smile, your hair made me blush, and your body made me die. Now that I have known you I realized that you are no longer just that to me. You mean so much to me but not the way you think. You are my very best friend dear but no more than that. I really hope that you won’t hate me forever and that we can still be friends. I know that is such an old line but it means the very best. I wish we could stay together forever but that is not what I want. I really want to be with you so please tell me what you are thinking.”

“I think I’ve known for a while that this is what it would come to. Friends are not an option because the way you made me feel. I won’t not wave when you pass me by but only time can tell what the end will be like for me and you and I hope that all is well.”

So am I really in love? I think not anymore. From this day forward I will see what others make me for.