When he came back I didn’t expect it to be this hard. I didn’t expect me to care this much. I didn’t expect him to care about me anymore. I didn’t expect his return to change my whole life and flip it upside down.
I didn’t expect to fall in love with him.

***
The day that Nico came back was a shock to us all. It sent a jolt down all of spines, flinging our whole school out of orbit. No one ever expected him to return, me especially; he was gone, and we had all finally accepted that. Except me. I knew that Nico was gone, of course I knew that, but that does not mean that I had to accept that fact. For Christ’s sake, how was I supposed to accept that fact? Nico was my best friend since the day I was born, and I would never get over him abandoning me. He left me for dead in this cold world, and that was not something that could ever be accepted.
So the day that he returned on the first day of junior year was defiantly a hard one.
I knew that was something was different the morning that I stepped into the halls. I could hear the whispers erupt around me as I walked silently down the halls to my locker. I could feel the stares on the back of my head. I could see the way the crowd parted slightly for me, letting me pass. I could see the way that every single person in the halls carefully avoided eye contact with me, trying to look distracted when I looked in their general direction.
So, maybe I wasn’t all that popular, but that had never called for people to avoid me like this. In fact, this was the most publicity I had gotten in years, but it was unwanted publicity. I wanted the stares to slide to someone else, to someone who actually deserved them; I hadn’t done anything. I didn’t know why all of these people were treating me like this.
But as soon as I stepped into my first period English classroom, I knew exactly what all of the hushed talking was about.
There he was, sitting right in front of me, and yet I could not believe my eyes; I would not believe my eyes.
Nico was simply just sitting there calmly, looking up at me like nothing had changed since the time that we had been best friends up to seventh grade when he left me. He was acting like I had seen him everyday of my life for the past five years of my life.
I wouldn’t have known that it was Nico, if wasn’t for those eyes that he had. Those magical deep bright blue eyes, that sparkled in the light, and always seemed to scramble my thoughts when I looked into them. Those eyes that were so clear and vivid, and that always-left people in shock, including me. Especially me.
Nico had changed since I last saw him. He was still as tall as ever, but he was slim, and had obvious rock-hard well-defined muscles under his plain white T-shirt that clung to his body perfectly. You could even see his muscles through his expensive looking leather jacket. His hair was shorter than before, and he was no longer wearing it in a skater-boy style. It was cut sort-of short, but you could still style it. His hair was a rich chocolate brown color that contrasted beautifully with his eyes. His face was flawless, and he long dark lashes that rimmed those gorgeous eyes that he had. His lips were slightly pink and carved perfectly into his face. His jaw line was well defined and strong looking. Nico was no longer the little skinny boy I had once known; he was now a man, all grown up, and on his own.
After I had evaluated Nico, and he had done the same to me in turn, he rose from his seat, gracefully with a newfound balance, and confidence, and sauntered over to where I stood in the doorway to the classroom. He leaned down close to me so he was almost eye level and spoke softly right in my ear. He was so close to me I could feel the gentle heat radiating from his body, and his breath on my neck.
“Hi, Terra. I’ve missed you more than you could ever know.” His voice rung in my ears, and made my insides melt. His voice was warm, and deep, but soft like honey, and was like a vocal piece of sweetness and tenderness.
I didn’t know how to react. I wanted so badly to just fall into his arms, and give up, to let go of every single grudge that I still held against him after all those years; that was what my heart was telling me to do. But my head had a different idea. My head was telling me to turn around and run away right then and there, and maybe get a slap to his face in there somewhere. After all, Nico leaving me had destroyed my entire life. For some many years after his departure, I had been lost in the world, unsure of what to do with my life. I didn’t know how to get back on my feet again, and live a normal life without Nico because the truth was: Nico was my life; I had nothing else to hang onto.
But this was a different Nico. I could look up into his eyes and see the softness and tenderness in them, and his complete sincerity to his words, and yet there was a rock solid quality to him that seemed ever present inside of him; it rang from every graceful movement he made, and every word he spoke, underneath all of the show that he piled on top of it: the show of softness, of normalcy. This new Nico was so obviously not normal, to me. I knew the real Nico D’Angelo Carmelo, and this was not he.
And with that, I suddenly knew what needed to be done, what needed to be said. The words seemed to tumble from my lips without my brain even trying to form them there.
“Nico,” I breathed the words out, trying them out on my lips for the first time in so many years, looked up into his eyes, and continued, “Nico. Please, don’t do this. Don’t do this to me,” I whispered the words gently to him, trying to make him see how badly I meant them with my eyes. And to my great surprise, he understood. After all those years of not seeing him, or speaking to him, our connection was still obviously there; all of those years and memories together were not something that could be erased with time. They would always be there, forevermore.
He looked down at the ground, but got closer to me still, his hand holding my cheek, forcing me to look in his eyes.
“Terra. I’ll leave you alone for now, but we need to talk. Soon,” he whispered the words to me, and then, “I missed you, Ter. Don’t shut me out.”
And gently, ever so gently, he pressed his lips to my forehead. It only lasted a few seconds, but in those few seconds that were truly connected and touching, I knew what he was trying to tell me; it was like I could read his mind. We’re best friends, Terra. Don’t leave me behind. Let me back in. Please?
His lips lingered over my head, and I looked up at him. His eyes look raviouness, and hungry. He looked like a wild animal, with pain buried deep inside of him. Unbearable pain that he was trying to fight off every single moment of his life, trying to resist.
But what was he trying to resist?