My heart raced at the speed of a humming bird’s and my palms felt like I had dumped them in ice cold water. I had never kissed a boy in my life. As I searched his tanned face and clear blue eyes the smell of his cologne filled my noise. I recognized it as a brand called Diesel. Jake’s hands found their way to my curvy hips and I sank into his warmth. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion and I was terrified I’d mess up but as the same time my insides were electrified and thrill ran up and down my stomach. I closed my eyes when we were just millimeters apart and waited. I could feel his shallow breathing on my face, his breath smelled like Big Red. When our lips touched I could see fireworks blasting in my brain, My hands lifted up and into his hair and I couldn’t breath. His lips were soft and warm. I could taste the familiar spice of Big Red and never wanted the moment to end.
Jake pulled away and gave me a small smile and a chuckle. I felt humiliation run through me. Did I done something wrong? I started chewing and realized that I had his gum in my mouth. Blood flooding to my cheeks and wasn’t sure what to do. “Relax, I have more.” His words were assuring me. I wondered how I could be so lucky. I wasn’t exactly the “popular” girl at school and I had never kissed a boy, why would the cutest and most popular jock in the whole school want to kiss plain old Penelope Witmen?
Jake pulled me close again and kissed me. He started walking and I stepped backwards until we were at the base of his bed. He skillfully guided me down onto the bed until he was on top of me and my back was pressed onto the soft pillows behind me. I opened my eyes and tensed. Jake felt my hesitation and pulled back a little bit giving me his movie star smile. “It’s alright. Trust me.” His voice promised me everything and I forced myself to relax. His tongue found its way into my mouth and his hand slid under my shirt. I knew this is what all the popular girls did and all my life I had wanted to be popular. His hand slid from my breasts to my jeans button. He started to slide them off and kissed my neck. Tingles continued all through my body but the good feeling was gone. A warning was now spreading through me as my jeans hit the floor below the bed. I wanted to scream when Jake touched my underwear but I stayed a mute, laying there.
Suddenly, every fighting sense in me kicked back to life. “Stop!” I said pulling away and covering myself. Jake still looked relaxed and took my shaking hand. “What’s wrong? It’ll only hurt for a second. I promise.” His quiet voice almost convinced me but I shook my head. “No, Jake.” Annoyance took the place of his love look. “Don’t you want to be popular?” He asked coldly sliding his hands in between my legs. I kicked him away. I had a choice to make; popularity or everything I stand for? My whole outlook at things changed in a flash. “You know what, Jake? No, I don’t want to be popular. I’m not going to give everything up to you just for something that’s not written in stone!” I stood up and started pulling my clothing back on. This wasn’t worth it, I belonged with my corky friends that thought fake mustaches were hilarious not with some guy who was most likely using me.
Jake stood up with anger fuming from his every pore, “Fine, Witmen, but if you walk out that door you will never be popular. You’re life will be a living hell!” I turned back and looked him street in the eyes, “Okay, you let that happen. Just remember, I have friends who don’t make me fight for their approval. That’s something you’ll never have.” Jake swallowed and watched me as I turned towards the door and walked away.