Dear Diary,

I failed my test today.  So now my average grade in math is a C-.  It makes me mad because my parents took my phone away because of it.  I decided to go snoop for it when they were at the grocery store and what I found was ridiculous.  Like c'mon they seriously could not tell us this? A divorce? Especially with Noah gone with the Military?  I’m done looking for my phone now.  I’m to sad for this right now.  Not sad, but furious, almost like a mix of both.

Well I’m done writing for today. Bye,
Cara

Dear Diary,
Today I’m just going to tell you what my parents did to me and my sister Mariah tonight.  They told us exactly… “your brother isn’t away with the military, the truth is he’s away at rehab”.  Then they went on to tell us he’s been using somebody else’s prescription drugs to stay awake at night and when he doesn’t sleep he pops in another one in the morning so he would stay awake during school.  Mariah was so upset.  I could see the tears trickling down her face.  I felt so bad her.  Her and Noah were so close.  I wasn’t close with them.  They always left me out.  Noah plays football, basketball, and baseball.  Why would he put that into jeopardy by doing drugs?  I don’t know what’s happening with my family.  First the divorce, now this? I don’t understand it anymore.  I went to bed early that night.  Maybe I should’ve been up and been there for my sister, because now she’s gone too.  She ran away I was told when I woke up in the morning. Why would my parents let this happen?  I blame them fully.  I don’t wanna do this anymore.

Bye until after school.

Dear diary,

School was ok I guess.  I told Jenny what happened.  And how I’ve been slipping into depression.  She told me don’t let this ruin basketball season.  Seriously, is that’ all she’s worried about, but of course I’m not going to let that happen.  Basketball is my passion.  My one and only love.  After my boyfriend Ricky though.  Actually, after my bed.  I’m kidding!  I value self love.  So I put myself first. He’s one of my brothers friends too.  Jenny said I should tell him.  I’d rather not.  He could sense something was wrong when I saw him later that day, so I told him flat out what was happening. He hugged me.   He’s always been there for me.  For two years almost. We’ve been dating since the 7th grade.  He’s a year older then me. Which sucked because when I was in 7th grade he was in 8th and he had left for high school and I missed seeing him at school.  Ricky was my first love.  Still is.

Well bye,
Cara

Dear Diary,
I’m in ELA right now.  I believe 5 minutes in.  Jenny knew something was up again and she could easily tell while we were in the hall today.  Jenny is the only person that truly knows me.  Her and I have been best friends since 4K.  If you don’t know what 4K is then I’ll tell you.  It’s basically kindergarten.  Except only for 4 year olds. Now we’re both freshman.  “Hey Cara, wait up!”  That’s her.  She’s one of the most quirkiest people I’ve ever met.  “How’s everything at home?” She whispers because she knows I don’t want anyone else to here.  I responded quickly but quietly. “Terrible, Mariah hasn’t come home yet, she hasn’t came to school, I’m worried Jenny”.   I know Jenny was worried about me too. I think she could tell by the look on my face.  Who knew I could give things away that easily? Honestly, nobody.  Everybody expects me to be perfect.  C’mon I’m on the basketball team, guys drool all over my friends. Which is totally disgusting because they already all have boyfriends. Except Jenny. She has the biggest crush on my brother Noah.  Makes me want to puke.  But most of the boys of our group are big, buff and scary.  Although, once you get to know them they are just big sweethearts. Jenny's ex boyfriend was the nicest probably.  He got her a bunch of things for her last birthday. It was so cute. I was probably jealous. Ricky threw a surprise bday party for me. My parents were there, and so were both sets of grandparents.  How did he even get a hold of all of them?  I had an amazing time. But anyways, back to my at home situation,what they don’t know is that I’m still holding onto this family that will never be complete again.  Nobody else needs to know about this

Bye,
Cara

Dear Diary,

I’m back.  Sadly, I still want to be at school.  Which is very surprising for me to even say that.  Let alone write it down on paper so that people have proof of me actually wanting to be at school.  Jennys mom brings me home because my parents are working late on Wednesday’s.  But I wish it was a different day that this could’ve happened.  Jenny saw how bad it was at my house because there was a police car outside.  Jennys mom offered to stay at the Vasquez household tonight.  But no I’d be staying at the Anderson household tonight.  Which is my house.  I’d rather not stay somewhere else because I could possibly needed tonight.  I walked past the police car, where Mariah was inside with cuffs on her wrist.  Then walked Into my house.  Into my room.  Slammed that door so hard.  Things were off the wall.  I heard my mom yell “Cara Eden Anderson don’t you dare slam that door”. After that was said I could hear voices talking about how Mariah was arrested for underage drinking and there just going to hold her until next week Monday.  And how my parents need to tell me to tell people that Mariah so out with the flu.  I never knew this is how bad it could get.  I called my best friend.  The Jenny Vasquez is how I’m referring to.  And I started crying and she knew right away to come pick me up. Until tomorrow.

Bye
Cara

Dear Diary,l
I am currently awake.  Usually when I’m at Jenny's I fall asleep right away.  But I have to much on my mind.  Things like why did Noah get into drugs, or even why did Mariah shoplift?  I was never close to them like I said before so I guess I’ll never know.  I’m going to try to get some sleep.

Goodnight,
Cara

Dear Diary,
Last night was good.  I needed to get out of the “Anderson Household”.  I think we should be calling it something else.  This family has gotten out of control.  But I’m still stuck on why my siblings would do such things.  Anyways it’s time for dinner.  Also I forgot we’re supposed to be picking up Noah tomorrow from rehab.  Finally, then when Mariah gets home we can be good.

Later,
Cara

Dear Diary,
Today was good.  It will make it better when Noah gets home.  I’m home alone right now.  If you can guess where they went then points to you.  Well if you guessed that they went to go get Noah from rehab you were correct.  Congrats! Points to you I guess.  But you don’t understand that they sent him to a rehab 2 hours away from us.  Ridiculous!  My family might be together after all.  My parents can cancel their divorce.  Things are going to be looking up from here.

Until tomorrow,
Cara

Dear Diary,
I have my biggest basketball tourney today.  This is the one where if we win 2 out of 3 of them we qualify for state.  And guess what?  Noah’s coming.  But when he woke up this morning he looked terrible and his eyes were really red and he had bags under his eyes.  I told mom and dad he had puked.  Noah on the other hand, I searched through his room and found all the pill bottles. Obviously I had to take them way from him.  After that I called Ricky to come over.  Ricky of course said yes and I told him to keep an eye on Noah.  Also, to take him out to eat or something.  I’m just glad that saw Noah before mom or dad did.  They would’ve sent him back.  And I’m not letting that happen.  Mariah is coming back soon.  And we'll all be together once again.

Well write in you later,
Cara

Dear Diary,
We didn’t qualify for state.  But when I got home… Mariah was home.  And she already knew all about Noah relapsing.  Her and I decided to help Noah.  Mariah would drive us to school and back every day.  It took off so much weight from mom and dad's shoulders.  I could tell they were happy to have us all here.  But something still wasn’t right.  And I was slipping into that mini depression state of mind again.

Anyways Bye,
Cara

Dear Diary,
Did I ever tell you that Jenny has a crush on my brother?  Well anyways If i haven’t I’m sorry.  But whenever she comes over it’s the funniest thing ever.  She always goes to brush her teeth whenever he’s in there.  And I swear he likes her too.  One time he asked to come watch a movie with us.  And Ricky was with him but so was his other friend. But that was a new friend.  And Mariah thought he was cute.  Which I thought was weird since she has a boyfriend.  Anyways back to what I was going to say, Jenny asked him out.  So now they are dating and i think it will benefit him.  She’ll help him through it all.

Bye,
Cara

Dear Diary,
It’s been a week since I wrote in you.  So sorry.  But It's the second quarter of school.  And I’ve been very busy with homework and projects.  Plus basketball season.  And I’ve made the JV team.  So that's what's been happening in my past week bunched up into a few sentences.  Anyways, in science we’re directing frogs.  And i get so queasy.  Like really, frogs?  They are so slimy.  Oh crap, my mom just called for dinner.  Write in you in a bit.

See ya,
Cara

Dear Diary,
I’m back.  When i had first gotten you, or written in you, I had a lot going on.  Since that's all over.  I don’t really know what to write in you.  My parents haven’t told us about this divorce yet.  And I think I’m the only one that knows about it.  My mom still wears her wedding ring.  So that must be a sign that they are staying together.  Which is great because the kids at my school who have divorced parents are weird.  I like my friends and I don’t want to lose them because of some stupid decision that my parents had made.  That won't happen.  The only upside of divorced parents is doubling.  If you don’t know what I mean about that then I will explain it to you.  Basically, doubling means that when your parents are divorced you get 2 of everything.  For example, two birthday parties.  Although, your parents could be one of the couples that after they break up they stay friends and decide to do joint things.  Which is going to suck if they do get divorced and do that.  Then again, if they did that, I wouldn’t have to tell my friends that they had gotten a divorce.  Anyways I’m going to sleep early tonight.  I have to go the gym in the morning so that means waking up at 4:30 and driving a half an hour so ill get there about 5:00.and then workout for an hour and then come back, shower and get ready for the day.

Goodnight,
Cara

Dear Diary,
It’s current 4:03.  I’m up earlier then expecting.  Which is frustrating.  And Ricky is going to be here soon.  He’s my workout buddy.  And he actually got me into basketball. He wanted me to practice with him one day, and it turns out I was actually pretty good.  So whenever we have free time after school, or during the weekends we go to the gym to play.  But other then that Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays we have our regular workouts.  Ok, well it took me a while to write this entry because Ricky is here.

Bye,
Cara

Dear Diary, 
We had this big thing at school today.  An assembly if you want to call it. It was trash.  I can't believe I had to sit there for 2 hours.  Couldn’t sit by Ricky, or any of my friends. Which totally sucked.  But anyways it’s January.  And prom comes up in what? Like 3 months?  My brother asked Jenny to go with him.  He did it very big. It was cute.  God, i'm so proud of him.  Ricky hasn’t asked me yet.  But its ok. Truly. But I’ve always been dropping hints.  And I think he gets annoyed.  But he still loves me.  Ok, so just now I wanted to say LOL. And I don’t know if that's proper to write like that. Now I have to do homework. Soooo…

Goodbye,
Cara

Dear Diary,
A whole month has gone by.  Mariah, ran away again.  Noah relapsed again.  And now it's my turn to leave too.  If you don’t know what that means I’m sorry. Tonight or soon I’m committing suicide.  I've had enough.  My parents act if its ok that they are getting a divorce.  I've noon for what a month and half.  I quickly texted all my friends saying i don’t want to be friends with them anymore.  The reason I told them  was because I was moving to Texas.  The next one I had to text wa Ricky.  I told him the same thing.  He calls me after that.  And tells me he can do long distance.  Then I tell my parents I’m taking a long nap.  They tell me “Ok, sleep well”.  Pff like they would even care if I died.  Soon I say to myself.  Soon everybody will find out why I texted them tonight of either breaking up with them or why I cant be friends with them anymore.  Well before I die tonight.  I need to do something.  And that's write on the front cover of this notebook “READ ME”.  I’m sure they will understand somehow.  Anyways,

Goodbye,
Cara

P.S.  Diary, you’re one of the real ones.