Today was the day, the day I would stop remembering and start forgetting, the day I would begin to live again and see the world. With what feels like restraints holding my petite but short body down, I attempt what is a simple task to others, working my way out of bed. When I escape, my feet are dangling a few inches off my newly stained hardwood floors. They soon find their companion, my slippers and slide into them. Walking over to my closet, to put on more clothes feels like a journey. Already feeling warmer I shuffle over to the balcony and glance out. It wasn't a surprise what my eyes saw for my mood was better than what it had been.
Looking out of my balcony I see the trees sprout from their slumber and stretch out their arms to the sky. Which was as clear as Lotus Lake and as bright and vibrant as could be. I knew today would be a good day because today was beautiful. The day had only just begun and I was ready to make the best of it I was done sitting at home, doing nothing and reliving that moment over and over in my head. That moment where he left me, it was horrible. He left me without any explanation or heads up. I hated him, but most of all I hated that I wasn't the person I wanted to be, the person that I am and will now always be.
As I headed out of the house and down my vine-like stairs, through and out the wooden door I immediately ran into an old friend. Her beauty was as apparent as the sun and she was glowing. Her cheeks were the color of a rose right before it blossoms. While her lips were moving I simply stood there mesmerized by the sea that resided within her eyes. She looked as though she was doing really well, and happy with whatever had turned her life around for the better. I was happy for her because it was nice to know that someone in this world was enjoying life. We talked for about ten minutes about how we had been lately and the usual small talk. After our goodbyes, and the little white lie that that we will keep in touch and make dinner plans in the near future, I continue on my journey. After venturing off into the forest and taking an afternoon swim in Lotus Lake near carnation waterfall, I began to make my way up the evergreen hill in attempt to see the sun set tonight. Climbing up I felt the wind run through my hair and give me a chill as it touched the drops of water still left on my body. It didn't take me that long to reach the top because determination set in to my skin after my first step. As I reached the top I noticed that I have barely made it for the sun had already began to descend into a slumber. My eyes started to water as the sun and I locked eyes. While watching beauty fall into a slumber my body began to tell me that I was tired. Only minutes later I lost the math and began to head home.





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My high from yesterday pored over to today and it felt great. There was no need for restraints; no need for a journey all that was needed was a cup of coffee. So I headed down stairs to make me up a cup. On my way down the stairs I heard nothing but the whistle in the air and tussling of the trees. What broke me out of nature's hypnosis was the phone ringing. It was my friend, Kristen, calling to tell me that I was going out with the girls tonight and needed to be ready in like two hours. I always added another hour on because it took her longer than anyone to get ready, with her routine that made no sense to any of us.

I stood at my closet staring at it for what seemed like eternity trying to figure out what to wear tonight, I finally settled on an outfit: a pair of dark jeans that are quite flattering and a shirt that always gets the head turning. After fixing my hair and checking how my nails turned out from earlier I headed out the door.





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Walking behind one of my friends into the local hangout I say that tonight will be great and a night to remember. As soon as we enter I notice one or two heads turn but my eyes are set on the dance floor, which is full of new people that look good now under the red, blue and green lights flash around. The smell of axe mixed with a combination of cheap and expensive perfume starts to give me a headache, so I motion to my girlfriends, because words fade away within the music, that I am going to get a drink.
Sitting at the bar and making small talk with the bartender whose smile was simply bewitching, I notice out of the corner of my eye, the last person I would ever want to see. He was here, and why and who was he here with? These thoughts rambled in my mind for a brief second until I really looked at him. He looked as cute as ever in his button up and jeans, but he had an accessory that I never knew he had but I thought it was hideous and trashy. She sat there next to him, touching him and flipping her choppy hair and in her oh don't bother looking at my eyes shirt but I thought to myself that she was just someone he met at the club. I tried not to look over there just in case we met eyes but as I was getting up to go blow off some stream on the dance floor I realized who she was, and for that brief second my heart stopped. Telling my friends that I will see them tomorrow, I quickly exit the building and as I do, I notice a head turn and realized as I got into the cab that it was for the tear running down my cheek.




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Waking up the next morning I could feel that today was not going to be as wonderful or adventurous as yesterday. Instead of working my way out of restraints I just laid there, it felt as if the world was coming to an end. When I finally made my way out of bed the pain that I felt was excruciating as my feet touched the floor, it was as if I was stepping on pins. Making my way over to my closet was more of a hike bit it made me feel somewhat better only because I was actually doing something. As I looked outside it was obvious that what happened last night was real and my eyes did not play a trick on me.
The rain was relentless, not stopping for hours and the wind began to whistle. I just stood there and watched as my emotions were pouring out in front of me. It was coming down harder now as each tear rolled down my face and touched the floor. I couldn't believe what happened last night, how only a day ago she had stopped me and asked me how I was. How I knew something had entered her life and changed it for the better but the fact that what just entered her life had left mine made me sick. Anger, sadness, disbelief, and betrayal were the only things I felt for hours. They were the only things that filled my mind and fueled my body. But I felt worse, and as I felt worse I began to cry more and as I cried the rain continued to pour, before I could even have another thought or feeling lightening appeared.







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As the day grew darker and hours grew longer, I decided that I would stop living in a fairytale. I wiped away my tears, perked up, and left the house. Before I even opened the door almost instantaneously the sky turned to pink. From the corner of my eye, I see the sun peer out from behind the hill and smile bright. For that brief moment in time I was blinded, but felt something other than anger, saw something other than betrayal within that brief moment my heart and life started again.