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A World Alone
They sat at the brown and black table on that dark Winter day.
“Seamus, sit up straight and open your sleepy eyes,” scowled Jerry.
Seamus didn't budge, but said,
“Jerry, tell them to leave. It's not worth it.”
The man and woman next to Jerry looked at him with sad, wide eyes.
“Wha-what?” the women finally said in surprise thinking she was going to have a new family member in adopting Seamus that day.
“Seamus let's take a step into the hall for a sec okay? I'll be right back Mr. And Mrs. Johnson.”
“Man, what is your deal? This is the tenth time we've tried getting you a family! I understand the rest of the times, those families just weren't for you, but this one? This one is fit for you! You're living such a lonesome dull lifestyle!” Jerry said with sincerity and sadness in his eyes.
“It's not going to happen. I was too young. I've never loved, how could I? I didn't know what love was when I was two and they left me here in the home,” Seamus spoke so flat and so monotone that Jerry knew Seamus was in no mood to finish the rest of the conferencing with Mr. And Mrs. Johnson.
Jerry looked down, took a deep breath, looked up and said, “Okay buddy. I get it.”
So Seamus proceeded climbed the stairs to go to his room. He looked into each open door leading to another orphans story until he finally hit his room, laid on the bed, and just thought.
* * *
VROOM! The flashy cars whizzed down the beautiful City of Angels streets. With Seamus (being no where new) right on the curb looking like the same old Seamus; Ragged hair. Blue jeans caked in filth and grime. Expressionless. Frail. Homeless. Seamus got up to go to his begging corner to collect as much as the classy would give. He slowly stood, thought for a second, and calmly stretched all of his body out hoping some of the aching would go away and relief would take its place.
Before he could take his first fast steps his thoughts kicked in like they always do, Man what's today got for me? I sure I hope it's better than yesterday, is today Tuesday or Wednesday? I sure hope it's Tuesday, the food trucks come out on Tuesdays. Oooooo maybe I'll make enough for one of those burgers. Nothing's better than those things.
“Get off the streets scumbag!” A paper cup filled with water flew out of a car with a group of ungrateful adolescents in the brown leather seats. Oh how I love sitting in that furniture store with the big beautiful chairs, so warm, so much comfort. He took his first steps to his corner, looked both ways, crossed the street, and saw a man with ear buds in. The sound of music is such a luxury, if only I had those wonderful tunes and tones going into mine. Maybe I'll throw all my money together for the cheapest head set I can find. Seamus had hit the corner and held his sign up reading
“Anything helps. Thank you, bless you.” Before Seamus could set his hat down for the people to put their dollars into his noticed something new, a woman, but not only a woman, a homeless woman. Whoa what the hell is going on here?! Never seen one of those. Of course homeless women excited, but so many people just imagine a bum man when they think of a begger. Why is she here? Why today and never before? Is she just rolling through looking for a place to stay? Should I acknowledge her or not even bother? Before the thought was even finished once again he was up off his butt, hat on head, and sign in hand.
“Excuse me ma--ma’mm. Who-who are you?” Seamus said in a tone in which proved he'd never put himself out there before.
“I could ask you the same question considering you're approaching me but it's Donna,” she fluently spoke, no flaws, not like Seamus.
“Oh of course, I'm sea-Seamus Dougal,” he'd stuttered.
“Seamus? Why are you so nervous? All that stuttering, do I scare ya?” Donna giggled, put her head down, and pushed her thick black hair back.
Isn't she nervous? The way she just pushed her hair back like she was hiding her nerves.
“Were beggers aren't we? We always gotta keep our guard up,” this time he'd be the one giggling rather in shock at the fact that she didn't seem to understand.
“Keep my guard up? Why do you think I'm out here? I've never had my guard up, never looked out for myself.” She jogged up to the bus that'd just pulled up and was gone. Oh my gosh how could I not notice the bus sign! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Genuine- she seemed genuine. Now she's gone. Seamus’s corner was very slow, begging didn't seem to help that day, those who came by left dimes and quarters, no more than 50 cents so Seamus decided to take a rest, but not quite a nap, under the blistering sun filled sky of L.A..
“Seamus? Seamus, are you okay?”
“Huh? What? Who is that?” Seamus questioned picking up his face off the concrete his stomach had also met. Could it be Donna? That was what first had crossed his mind and it came faster to him than his head could pull up.
“Jeesh! Relax, it's just me! Donna,” she said with real emotion.
“Oh, what brings you this way again?” Seamus said stumped to as why she would be there. Whoa wait a second, what is going on right now? I feel something! I I feel! I feel! It's enjoyment! Wow. This is what actual joy is, I've got this feeling of freeness, this strange feeling in my stomach, like I can do anything. This is crazy, I like it.
“Well I don't know, I was thinking about what you'd said, ya know about keeping our guards up? And I think maybe it's time I actually put mine up for the first time, and well uhh You seem like you know what you're doing…” She's nervous, I'm joyful and she's nervous.
“...So I figured we could work with each other ya know?” she said extremely timidly.
YES! Say yes! Why are you even thinking about this?! “Uh--” His thoughts interrupted him wait, hold up. Think about this, she's great but she could be gone like that. Is it worth it? You might've never felt real joy till now but if she leaves when you actually feel joy, just imagine how the aftermath will be for you. You'll be lower than low. “Donna, I've been alone my whole life. It's just I've been solo my whole life, I'm not the type of guy to want a Robbin around. I'm sorry.” As much as Seamus knew this was the right thing to do he jerked back tears thinking about all he's never had in his life including a companion.
“Oh, well okay then, I understand.” The cool wind hit Donna as she looked down, this time not fixing her hair or blushing, but frowning. She walked away and there Seamus was, just laying on the concrete with his thoughts.
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Something I'd like my readers to know about this piece is the central idea. That being that every person on Earth has internal thoughts and emotions no matter how they are viewed by society.