All my life, I have been the perfect daughter. I became who my parents wanted me to be. The best child. I was who the school shaped up to give it a name. The winning star. I was the shoulder where my friends lean upon. The Wise Buddy. My manager gave me so many clients to work for. I was his prize employee.

Everyone seemed to expect the best from me. Until him. Or at least, I thought so.

**flashback**

I was running on the way to my office, my coffee in the right and my briefcase on the other. Accidentally, I bumped on a stranger and spilled the coffee in both of our uniforms. Well, more on him than on mine.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you were here. I'm so, so sorry." I exclaimed as I opened my eyes. He just laughed and helped me up while signaling the janitor to clean up the mess I've made. "No, miss, it's really okay. I have an extra in my office anyway. Are you alright?" "Yes, of course. Thank you sir." We exchanged brief goodbyes and went on our separate ways the rest of the day.

The next time I met him was when my manager introduced me with a few other important clients of our company the next few days. I haven't mentioned it before, but I am "one of the best Software Developers God has provided us". Not my words, my manager's. He knew that this was the exact project I was waiting to tackle. Anyway, back to the one I've thrown the coffee to. I can't believe I was completely oblivious to who he was before that meeting.

Leo Matthew Smith. Son of a billionaire who owned New York's most famous newspaper and co-owner of the newest gadget that came out this year. His team was here to create a website which required very detailed planning that only few people with expertise could make it.

Leo and I met so many times after that. He was with me to help finish the work. Everyone could see us in my office, me, facing a computer "in the zone", while he quietly do his job. It took a lot of weeks and sleepless nights until I finally put their dream right before their eyes. It was the hardest project I've ever had, but they loved it so far. Just a few minor adjustments.

A week later, it was pure bliss for me. After 2 months of putting it up together, I finished the software. Finished as in completely finished. No more stressful nights. I was sitting on my bed with a book, a typical Tuesday night for me, when my phone rang. That was weird. Who would call 8 o'clock in the evening? There must be a problem in the company.

"Hello? This is Ms. Anderson speaking. Can I help you?" "Yes, Elaine. I was wondering what would you do if I ask you out for a date? Could you save me from the trouble of wondering?" Wait. "WHAT?!!!!" "Ouch, El. No need to shout."

You won't believe I said yes to him though. Number one rule: Never date a client. And I'm breaking it. Well, he isn't a client anymore though. Here I am, dressing up for a Saturday night dinner. I was dressed on a dark blue wrap dress with just minimal accessory. Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm putting up this much of an effort just for a guy. Well, he's not ANY guy. He's a billionaire's son, but he carries it so decently, continuously flashing that smile that makes your knees go weak. He's every girl's dream.

The evening went by slowly and sweetly. He was really a gentleman. Candlelit dinner, fancy restaurant, expensive suit and watch. His appearance, lifestyle, and mannerisms obviously define rich. We talked for hours and when he left me at my house, I was breathless after a long kiss just before my doorstep.

I was in haven months after that. 2 months after our first date, it was when I noticed that something was wrong. He never returned my calls, and if he did, his mind seemed to be somewhere, and his voice seemed to be distant. Like distant, troubled waves in an ocean. No more nights to spend with him. He left me his address and said I can visit if I have any problem. So I did.

Driving my newly-bought car, I went on my way to his house to surprise him, only to be surprised myself. The house was like a mansion. Well, it IS a mansion. White, beautiful, and breathtaking. But it wasn't the house that surprised me. It was that couple, happy and young, newly-married as it seems. His back was turned, but I would recognize him everywhere. I went out of my car and landed on the snow. Softly, just softly. And as softly as I landed on the snow, I called out. "Leo?" My voice was a small one, barely a whisper, but he heard it. He and his pregnant girlfriend then turned to face me. Tears flowed unstoppably, my mind was fuzzy, so I turned around and ran to the car. I could hear his voice, calling my name, but I stepped on the gas and sped on the road.

My tears were blurring and I can't see clearly. The rain was pouring hard. It all happened so fast. Too fast that a car swerved up in front of me and crashed unto my car. The screams of people around were the last I heard besides the shattering of the window glass.

What did I just do? I started to fall into the nothingness.

I woke up. White room, cold air, painful stings. I snapped my eyes open. The baby?! A nurse opened my door and the doctor came in. I tried to sit up straight, but he held me tight to the bed.

"Ms. Anderson, please, go back to sleep. It was just an accident, no one was killed. Even your child," his voice seemed to help me drift back to sleep as I knew that the life inside me was going to survive.

When I opened my eyes again, the clock had pointed to four. I looked around and saw him by my side. That bastard. My eyes burned with fire as I looked at his sleeping face. I noticed him stir and looked at me with sleepy eyes, looking as innocent and boyish as he was when I first met him. Only now, he isn't, and he never was.

"You're awake." I didn't reply. "El, please, tell me what's wrong? Are you okay?"

I slapped him hard across his face. He seemed to stop. "What was that for?" "For cheating on your wife, bastard."

"Wait. How--"

"I saw you Leo! I saw you kissing your pregnant "girlfriend" ! Liar!" Tears flowed unstoppably.

"I was about to break up with her!"

"I can't say kissing is part of breaking up."

"God dammit, why do you have to make it so complicated?"

"Are you blaming me for something I didn't even do? For falling in love with a man who already was married? I was a fool, yes. But I didn't know. I didn't know."

I collapsed back at the bed, turning around so I won't face him.

"El, darling, please."

"Please what? Please forgive me? Please be my mistress? Please be my one-time girlfriend? Shut up Leo. Go back to your wife. She's pregnant."

His ears seemed to perk up at the word. The hand he used to play with my hair went to my stomach. He knew.

"I can't ask you to forgive me, El. It's up to you. I'm just asking you to wait for me. Let me divorce my wife El, please. For you and our baby."

"Leo, we shouldn't have started the affair. It was also partly my fault. And no matter how tempting your offer is, I just can't break up a family apart. I'd rather leave than know you're going to divorce your wife."

"But El--"

"Good afternoon Sir, but I must ask you to step aside to let the patient drink the medication and sleep." The nurse took care of me and helped me sleep. But not before she told me, "You shouldn't have had an affair with him, Ma'am. He has a reputation for being a playboy. In any case, I think you should avoid him." I nodded as she left the door with a smile containing something that I hate. Pity.

Leo was true to his word though. He divorced his wife, and went there at the hospital every day for 3 months. None was said when he came into my room. My baby bump was getting harder to conceal, and five months from now, I'll be having a baby. The thought made me smile. Sure, I'm never going to marry Leo, but I'm not going to blame it on this one. I love him, and I love this person inside me, I can't bear to let this go.

But I have to let him go. When I was getting discharged, I saw Leo again, this time with a nurse. But it didn't surprise me. I knew it was in him, and I just walked out of the hospital, hailed a cab and made my way to my house. I packed my clothes, caught a plane, and on that day, I knew I have to leave him.

I was dressed on a light blue maternity dress, my dress a loose braid on my shoulder. I haven't heard from him after I saw that nurse ready to pounce. I didn't have to. I told not a single soul about this trip. I just said I'd be gone for a few days, a few months, a few years. And I'll return whenever I felt like returning. No one can stop me now.

I looked at the horizon, the sun almost setting, as the plane set off to its own course. It'll lead me into a life I am scared of having. But I'm never looking back. Not now, not ever. I have to let him go. Even if it hurts so much.