I can almost taste the cranberry and vodka on her breath as she whispers in my ear. I don’t pay attention to what she’s saying, but I pay attention to her voice. The way it sounds soft and needy. Her lips are brushing against my ear and if I turn my head up, my sober lips would meet her intoxicated ones. Her arm is lazily draped over my shoulder. I’ve never met this girl before but something was strangely attractive about the way she looked. Maybe it was because she wasn’t wearing a short dress or clothes that revealed everything, or maybe it was because it’s past midnight and her eyes are the stars. She has the thousand yard drunk stare but I don’t mind. Her eyes are a glassy pale blue. I feel my cheeks fill with blood and turn scarlet. I also feel blood rush somewhere lower. I can’t bring myself to kiss her and I can feel the warmth of her breath against my face.
“I’m gonna lie down,” she says breaking my train of thought.
“What?” I ask. I shake my head and realise what she had just said, I answer again, “I mean, yeah, sure.” She nods and rests her head on my lap.
“I like you,” she says in a quite voice. I gaze down at her, I realise that I am a bit tipsy.
“You don’t even know me,” I respond. She giggles and takes my hand.
“Sure I do.” She pauses and breaths in. “You’re the boy who’s listening to my dumb stories and keeping a conversation with me while I’m p----- out of my head.” I chuckle. Interesting, I think to myself. She interlaces her fingers with mine. She takes a deep breath in and smiles. Even in the poorly lit room I can see the outline of her face. Beautiful, I think. I want to kiss her, but I can’t. I don’t think the time is appropriate.
“Hey, what’s your name?” I ask as she begins to drift in a separate world.
“It’s Alix,” she says and takes a deep breath. “Alix with an I” she finishes.
“Alix with an I?” I respond, not knowing what to say. She nods and giggles.
“What is it?” I ask. Is she laughing at me? I think to myself, a little embarrassed.
“I’m not laughing at you,” she says as if she can read my mind. “You’re just very,” she pauses as she tries to find the right word. “Cute,” and she giggles again. I give her hand a little squeeze and she gives it a kiss. Her lips feel so soft and sweet. I need them against mine. “What’s your name?” she asks. I pause, not knowing if I should say it. Screw it, I think.
“It’s Cyan,” I say. She looks up at me.
“Like the colour?” She asks. I nod. “Why?” she asks.
“Well because my eyes are cyan.” I say.
“I’ve never met a person with cyan eyes before,” she says with a small smile. She pulls my hand over to her cheek and it feels warm.
“Well now you have,” I say with a smile and she smiles back at me. I know this is a good time to kiss her but I can’t bring myself to do it. She kisses my forearm and I know she wants to kiss me. I take a deep breath in. Screw it, I think and lean down. I feel her lips against mine and I can taste the sweetness of her breath in my mouth. She adjusts her position so that she can kiss me better. I place my hands on her face and pull her closer. I completely forget that we’re at a crappy party on someone else’s s***ty couch; but all I feel is her lips against mine. This girl I’ve only met an hour before seemed to fit into my lips so perfectly. I hear her give a soft moan and I place my hand on the back of her neck and pull her in closer. She pushes her tongue in between my lips softly and I take it. I part my lips and we begin to kiss more passionately. I pull her body closer to mine and we only have 2 layers of clothing between us. Between our bare skin. She runs her hand through my hair and I feel the hairs on my arms stand up. She pulls away and while I still hold her face. She looks down and smiles as she bites her bottom lip. “What is it?” I whisper softly, tilting my head down so I can lift her face to mine.
“I like you,” she whispers but not in a laughing joking way like she was saying before. This was serious.
“No you don’t,” I respond, “You’re just drunk,” I whisper back, like it was a secret.
“Yes I do, I like your name and your voice and the way our lips fit and you. I like you Cyan,” she says. “Even if I am drunk now, I know that if I’m here tomorrow and sober I will still like you and I will remember the taste of your lips,” she says. I stare at her, not knowing what to say. I lift her head up with my finger and kiss her again. She moans out softly and I pull her closer once again. I feel our tongues in one another’s mouth. I still taste the cranberry and vodka but more importantly I can taste her. Alix. The most important person to me at this very moment. We pull away again and I take a deep breath and say,
“I like you too,” I whisper. I don’t know if I’m saying this because I’m sort of drunk, or because I really do. But she smiles and kisses me again. She pulls back suddenly and has a horrible look on her.
“Oh no,” she says under her breath, I can barely hear her over the loud annoying trashy music playing in the background.
“What is it?” I ask. She turns to me and holds her stomach.
“I think I’m going to be si-,” and she throws up a volcano of pink and brown. Oh God, I think. I take her and help her to the bathroom. “I’m so dizzy Cyan,” she whispers as we make our way to a bathroom. She vomits again.
“Hey watch it!” a guy says.
“Shut up,” I say as I place one arm under hers and another holding her hand over my shoulder. We make it to a bathroom and I rest her on the toilet. I open the water from the sink and I look for a towel. I find one and I put it under the sink to let the cold water soak it for a while. I turn to her and lift her head to look at me. I kiss her forehead.
“It’s going to be okay Alix,” I whisper. She shakes her head and begins to cry. “What’s wrong?” I ask “Why not?” I whisper as I take her hand and caress her cheek.
“If I fall asleep that will be the end of me,” she says through the tears.
“Meaning what?” I ask, scared.
“I took so many of them Cyan. So…many,” she whispers and cries silently.
“Took what Alix?” I say as she drifts but I shake her awake. “Took what?!” I say again, but with urgency this time.
“All the pills… in my…” she says tiredly. “In my medicine cabinet” she finishes her sentence. I can feel her tears crawl onto my hand. She turns away and vomits again. I take some toilet paper and clean her mouth.
“Why would you do that?” I ask and I can feel the tears creep out of my eye.
“Because I’m sad,” she responds. “I’m sad and lonely” she whispers and begins to cry again. I kiss her forehead and without letting her go I turn off the tap and take the towel out of the sink. I try to wring it with my one hand but I can’t. I put it against her forehead and she winces.
“It’s okay,” I whisper.
“It’s so cold,” she says quietly.
“I’m going to call 911” I say to her. She shakes her head.
“Please don’t,” she begs as she keeps shaking her head. “Don’t do that, please.”
“I have to Alix. I can’t let you die,” she cries and so do I.
“Just let me go Cyan, we only just met and we will meet again,” she says. She removes my hand from her forehead and holds it. Her mood suddenly changes from remorse. “Thank you,” she says and smiles through the tears.
“For what?” I ask.
“For giving me the best day of my fast ending life,” she whispers. Her head falls but I quickly pull it back up.
“No you’re not dying on me Alix,” I say as I punch in 911. She doesn’t respond. “Alix?” I say but still no response. “Alix!” I shout, but she was gone. Passed out, I hope. I hit the dial button and a woman spoke.
“911, what’s your emergency?” I don’t say anything. I stare at her pale face and place a finger over her neck where her pulse should be. It’s faint. “Hello?” she asks again. I don’t respond still. I can’t find the words. The pulse gets weaker and I pull my hand away. I hang up. I don’t know what to do but cry. No kind of training could help me through this situation. I bring her down to the floor and hold her. I cry softly and kiss the top of her head. I had just met her, but I felt as if I have known her for years.
“I’m so sorry Alix,” I whisper and kiss the top of her head again. “I am so so sorry.”