“This is the end.” These were her last words.  They were so subtle, so calm.  It rolled off of her tongue blatantly with no emotion.  I didn't recognize it at first until I saw her face, distorted with fear.  Her teal eyes, usually filled with life, sat on her face looking colorless and out of place.  She was staring wide eyed at me with her pupils dilated into black holes.  The rest of her face was expressionless, mouth partly open, her skin deathly pale.  She looked...dead.  I remember how quickly my emotion changed that day.  From happiness to fear. 
Beep, beep.  I shot my eyes open, greeted by the bright light of the room blinding me.  My brain forced me to shut them because the light was too much to take in.  I could feel my chocolate brown hair lying flat on my forehead and my bright green eyes droop down my face out of exhaustion.  I blindly reached over to the side table to grab my phone and check the time.  It wasn't there.  Again, I tried to open my eyes, letting in the light slowly.  I looked around the room to see drab gray walls surrounding me with little paintings framing the room.  This wasn’t my room.  Then a question dawned on me.  Where am I?  It floated in my head, unanswerable. 
Beep, beep.  I glanced over to my left to see a heart monitor shooting up in spikes.  Is that...for me?  I felt my heartbeat quicken in realization, immediately triggering more beeps from the machine.  The blood rushing through my veins made me feel every cut, every bruise along my body, but what really stood out was the unexpected pain shooting through my shoulder.  These weren’t here before I fell asleep, I thought with a shocked expression lining my pale face.  I looked down frantically to see an IV stuck in my skin.  I was right.  I was in a hospital.  I felt beads of sweat forming on my forehead as I shakily lifted my arm.  I can't feel anything, so this won't hurt, I reassured myself, slowly placing my hand around the small tube.  Come on Finn.  You need to find her.  I paused.  Jackie.  I need to find Jackie.  I gripped the IV and quickly pulled it out of my arm.  Numbness shot its way through my arm and I cried out in pain, failing to be quiet.  Knowing that the doctors would hear my cries, I quickly got out of the hospital bed. 
Pain. 
Pain was the only thing I was feeling.  My head was pounding as I stood up, making me feel dizzy.  I couldn't walk straight and everything was blurry.  My vision was blackening around the edges as I made it to the doorway.  I clamped my hands on the doorframe in an attempt to stay balanced.
What am I doing?  I would never break the rules!  I paused for a second, reminding myself of what was really important.  Right I needed to find Jackie.  I need to find Jackie, I need to… I took one step forward, the darkness closing in.  Just a little farther.  More pounding, more pain.  A ringing in my ear.  None of my senses were working.  I couldn't see, I couldn't hear, I couldn't feel.  That is until I heard a faint voice echoing through the hall.
"Thanks!  I'm going to check on the car crash patient!  I feel so bad for them!" Car crash?  That couldn't be me, could it?  There's no other explanation.  Memories started flooding my brain and the last thing I remembered was my body slamming on the hospital floor and blacking out. 

All I could see was the bright headlights blinding my vision, followed by a car barreling towards us at a rapid speed.

I woke up again, the familiar beeping sound flooding the room.  I was back in the hospital bed.  Back at square one.  I noticed that they made sure the needle was taped into place so I couldn't take it out again.  I still haven't found Jackie.  I tried getting up but was held back by the plastic connecting my arms and legs to the bed.  I tensed, struggling to get up, when I heard the door creak open.  I made eye contact with a middle aged woman with dull green eyes filled with sharpness and annoyance.  She had defined bags under her eyes from sleepless nights and her hands were red and worn down.  Her strawberry blonde hair was pulled back into a tight bun with no hair out of place, showing perfection.  Her tiny form looked defeated like something was weighing her down.  Too much experience with people dying at her cost.  The face she made, made it clear that she was used to it, but I could see a hint of sorrow in her eyes that she was trying to hide.  She pulled on her rubber gloves, that invisible mask still covering her pale face. 
“You are Finn Evans I assume?” She asked me, fiddling with a pile of paperwork.  I nodded my head, afraid to speak.  She scowled at me and walked over to see my IV.  I almost felt bad for her.
"Nice to see you didn't take it out this time," her head was bent down, purposely trying to avoid eye contact with me.  I lowered my head, ashamed of myself for taking out the IV when I wasn’t supposed to.
"Well we ran some tests and it appears that your shoulder has been popped out of your socket." She blatantly stated as she tried to grab my shoulder.  I pulled back and the pain from the sudden movement shocked me.  I flinched and yelped before being pulled back towards her. 
"This is going to hurt, so just stay still." What kind words of reassurance.  I braced myself, trying to do anything that would make this moment less painful.  Then it hit me.  I remember when I was younger and I broke my arm, my dad told me to count to ten whenever I was in pain.  So I started.
One.  I felt her grab my arm forcefully, not caring about how much pain I was in.
Two.  Focus Finn.  Don't feel it.  Drown out the outside world.
Three.  Her voice echoed around me, trying to tell me something.
Four.  I couldn't do it any longer.  My brain found its way back into reality before I heard the sickening pop of my shoulder being put back into place.  I screeched out in pain as the fire traveled through my arm.  I brought my other arm up and clenched my shoulder, trying to diminish the pain. 
"It didn't hurt that bad, now did it?  Now we have one less problem to deal with." I felt my vision get more blurred and my body relax as collapse onto the bed. 

The impact knocked me back as I heard crashing of the glass shattering.  I felt my shoulder go numb and glass shards cut my face. 

This setting became too familiar.  This situation became too familiar.  These flashbacks became too familiar.  Whenever someone said something or did something that had to do with the accident, I blacked out.  The information I had so far was that, yes, I was in a car crash.  Judging on how one of the doctors said patients, I assumed that Jackie was in it as well.  I didn't see Jackie.  I still don't know where Jackie is.  Was the car crash bad enough for Jackie to be...dead?  I quickly shook that thought out of my head as the same doctor came in. 
"You're awake." I smiled at her politely and nodded my head.  Of course I'm awake!  I saw her putting on rubber gloves again and quickly walk towards me.  Before she could touch me, I stopped her.
"Where's Jackie?" I asked her, trying not to sound too rude, but stern enough that she would take me seriously.  All of the blood drained out of her face, but she regained herself, attempting to hide it.  Something was wrong. 
"Where's Jackie?" I repeated a little louder than before.  She gulped quietly and scurried over to the sink to wash her hands for no reason.  I felt tears well up in my eyes, but I wouldn't let them fall.
"Please," I choked out, desperate for an answer.  She turned towards me with wide eyes and whispered something so quiet, I wasn't sure if it heard her right.
"She's not woken up yet..." The whole room fell into an eerie silence as I slowly felt a single tear drip down my face.  This is all my fault.  It was my fault we got in the car crash, it was my fault for what happened to Jackie.
Wait.
Was it my fault?  I laid back in the bed and let the darkness consume me once again.

Smoke filled the air and all could feel was the blood trickling down my cheek and the numbness of my shoulder.  I was dying.  The whole world was a blur.  I slowly turned my head to see a body slumped over with glass shards sticking out of her.  She was unconscious.  Jackie was unconscious.  The sound of sirens filled the air, but would they make it in time?

It was the same awakening.  But it wasn't.  It smelt the same of medicine and soap.  It looked the same with white walls all around me.  One thing was different.  I wasn't on the bed, Jackie was.  Instead, they had brought me onto the chair next to her.  I stared at her longingly but was only met with a pale face.  Her body was draped over the bed looking lifeless. 
“Jackie,” I whispered, cupping my hand around her face.  What happened to her?  Why was she still unconscious?  I let a tear drip down my cheek and watched it land on her forehead. 
“Why?” I spoke out loud, the tears streaming faster.  I moved a strand of her auburn hair out of her porcelain face and let it out.  I started screaming with all of the rage I had inside of me, feeling a flurry emotions.  Depression, fury, exhaustion, and confusion.  They racked my brain and made me lose control.  I drove my fist into the hospital wall, not caring if someone heard. 
“Why, why, why?” I repeated to myself, rocking back and forth in my chair.  This can’t be happening.  It should’ve been me in that bed instead of her.  It should’ve been me who was unconscious.  I started shaking and I wrapped myself tightly in a ball.  My face was red from crying and my fist was bleeding from punching the wall.
“It-it should have been me,” I choked out, slowly closing my eyes in defeat.  At that moment I realized that she might not wake up at all. 

I saw two men grab Jackie and pull her out of the burning vehicle. 
“Jackie,” I whispered in a raspy voice, shakily lifting my arm up attempting to reach out to her.  Why weren’t they taking me?  With one sudden movement I felt muscular hands wrap around my body.  I knew I wasn’t going to make it when they carefully set me on the stretcher.  I painfully moved my head in Jackie’s direction to see if she was okay.  Instead I saw a blanket draped over her lifeless body and tubes sticking out of her limbs.  What’s happening?  Two men grabbed my arms and legs and pinned me down to the stretcher.  Suddenly, I felt a piercing in my arm from the IV being put in.  I tried screaming, but no voice came out.  My body tensed up and started shaking uncontrollably.  I found myself in the ambulance with a blanket thrown on top of me.  This is it, I thought.  This is the end.

I awoke to the sound of doctors rushing into the room.  I looked over to the bed and saw Jackie’s hand flinch.  Then her foot.  She’s awake.  I smiled brightly, for this moment was my only care in the world.  I saw her eyes open, quickly observing her surroundings.  Her gaze met mine and I smiled from ear to ear. 
“Jackie!  You’re awake!” I shouted with glee.  She gave me a confused look and shot up from her lying position.  Shouldn’t she be in my arms by now, hugging me until I couldn’t breath?  My breathing stopped and my palms clammed up, for I was assuming the worst.  I felt my heart break as she spoke the next words.
“Who are you?” I couldn’t cry.  I couldn’t move.  I was frozen.  Her sharp gaze snapped me back into reality.  My breathing quickened and I could only think one thing.  How could she not remember me? 
“Don’t you remember me?  Finn, your boyfriend?  We’ve been together for a year!” I felt the tears well up in my eyes, but I only let a few fall down.  She slowly backed into the bed frame, clearly afraid and confused.  Just like me. 
I heard footsteps in the hall and saw her parents rushing in with panicked looks plastered on their faces.  Her mother’s expression warmed up as she looked at me, knowing the news. 
“Finn, darling.  We need to ask you to leave.” This time, I let them fall.  They covered my face like a blanket and I couldn’t stop.  I walked slowly to the doorframe, not processing anything that happened.  I mean, how could I? 
After I was out of sight, I ran out of the hospital with tears streaming down my face.  My courage was gone.  My love was gone.  My life was gone.  This was the end.