Cats are said to have nine lives, could electricity eliminate one of those? I have found some background information on this fascinating subject from my friend Sid. Sid says, “ I have tried this before and found that cats normally get electrocuted around 15v.” “ My cats have only ever made it to 100v,” he added ominously. It is my duty to discover the truth once and for all for cat lovers everywhere.

My hypothesis? If I attach a cat to an incremental voltage machine and begin at 15v (increasing the voltage one 15v increment at a time), then the cat will become a cadaver before I reach 101v.

Through my experiment I will follow certain steps. First I will get a random sampling of 10 cats (mostly off the street), and introduce each cat to varying levels of voltage beginning at 15v, then 30v, then 45v, etc…. As soon as the cat “passes on” I will record the voltage at which they left us. This process will be repeated many times. The Independent variable here is the amount of voltage in the shock. The dependent variable is the death of the cat.

After extensive research and experimenting, I have results! The first cat kicked it at 95v, as did the following 5. Three more relocated to that big ball of yarn in the sky at 105v, and the last cat died from heart failure (more like removal by Rufus my dog) before the test began; therefore, my results are inconclusive and I shall have to repeat my experiment.

Twenty cats later, and the results are as follows: 12 at 95v, 5 at 104v, and the final three at 65v.

In conclusion, I have found that my hypothesis is incorrect, many cats died before the 100v mark. I have also concluded that, while this experiment was entert- I mean educational, it was also highly illegal and my scientific genius will be “stored up” for a few years in the state penitentiary.