There she was, Amy Gerstein, over by the pool, kissing my father. This summer marked eight months exactly since she had been wed to him, and almost three years since the passing of my mother. She died of a short term illness when I was very young. It all happened rather quickly.
I still had not adjusted to living this way. As if Amy wasn't enough of an annoyance, I was forced to reside under the same roof as her daughter, the beautiful and flawless Eloise. Eloise was my step-sister, but everyone thought she was my cousin. That was probably due to the fact that she was often mistaken for a movie star, while I was looked upon as a ghostly pale pumpkin with limbs. After my mothers death, I had a lot of trouble coping. I shut everyone out and began to eat.
But Eloise- she had everything. That was the way I saw it. She was beautiful, thin, talented, and had every boy falling for her. I would give anything to live her life. There she sat, across the pool with her perfect little friends, in her perfect little bikini, getting their perfect little tans. Watching from within a plastic green tube in the cool blue water, I began to loathe them even more with every fake, high-pitched giggle.
As the next few weeks passed, summer came to an end, carrying equal dullness as the beginning. My freshman year began quickly, plunging me forth into another year of pain and insecurity. As we approached the colorful chill of October, talk of the fall dance was swirling like the sun-kissed leaves in the wind. I could hear the excited girls whispering about their peach-colored dresses bedazzled in glitter. Or, perhaps, the fabulous up do they would be sporting. My heart couldn't help but sink rapidly like a pebble thrust onto the surface of a pond. How on earth would I be able to squeeze myself uncomfortably into a dress without looking like a sausage in its casing? Of course, Amy was quick to convince Dad that Eloise needed the prettiest, most expensive dress in the country. How could I ever compare to Eloise? I couldn't. She would be perfect- again.
As I walked home through the crisp, fall wind one afternoon, my mind was swelling with desperate thoughts of the dance. Suddenly, an idea sprouted in my mind like a ambitious seeding enveloped in sunlight. I was aware that Eloise, being obsessed with maintaining her model-like figure, kept her own stash of low calorie foods. "Perhaps," I pondered as I passed an abandoned playground, "I could manage to sneak a few for myself." I doubted that Eloise would even notice. If I could convince myself to eat this way up until the dance, I would actually feel confident for once in my life! A sudden wave of hopeful ambition swept through me.
Upon arriving home, I kicked off my worn black converse, place my canvas bag on the smooth, wooden counter, and proceeded towards the heavily carpeted staircase. I could hear my feet padding upon the steps as I hopped onward toward Eloise's bedroom. Eloise was the captain of the cheerleading squad, which practiced right after school. Dad was at work, and Amy mentioned something about needing Daddy's money for a pedicure. "That should be enough time," I reasoned, as my foot ascended to the last stair.
I turned the the corner into her room, the smell of sweet perfume prominent as I set my barefoot onto the plush, pink carpet covering the bottom of the room. I looked around, taking note of the diamond chandelier that hung from the ceiling that was adorned in glowing stars. A king-sized bed lay in the center of the room, wearing a silky blue comforter, and covered in uniquely-shaped pillows. The walls were a bright lavender, and cascaded with sparkling drapery.
"Now, where exactly would someone keep a lifetime supply of rice cakes?" I thought humorously, as I examined the fashion magazine at the end of Eloise's mattress. I rummaged around the room for a few minutes before stumbling upon something I found most curious. For just there, in the corner of the million-dollar room that I found myself in, was a dark burgundy stain, peeking out from behind the diamond-encrusted mirror on the wall. My mind raced. The stain looked furious, secretive. Of all the times I had been in Eloise's room (which hadn't been too often) I had never noticed it. Pulling my mind back into focus, I quickly disregarded it. I needed to focus. This may be the only chance I get. I hurried over to the white closer door, plastered with the faces of gorgeous celebrities- some of whom resembled Eloise. I pulled the door open.
Nothing could've lessened the shock I experienced in that moment. For beyond the door, lay not a pile of rice cakes, nor a package of crackers. But rather, stashed in the empty corner of the closet, lay a pile of empty bottles. Bottles that I knew had contained countless amounts of alcohol.
Before my mind had the time to process anything, the slam of a door startled me out of my thoughts. "What are you doing here!?" spat a cold voice.
I whipped around, catching a glimpse of soft, butter-colored hair surrounding a face enveloped in raging fury. "Why wasn't she at practice?" I thought. "Did I miss something? Why wouldn't I think this through?"I suddenly became furious with myself. Too shocked to speak, I stood like a statue. Suddenly the features on Eloise's face softened as her eyes brimmed with sorrowful tears as mascara lines dripped down her cheek, her face became buried in her hands. Eloise collapsed on her bed as high pitched sobs protruded from behind her delicate hands.
"It's horrible, I know!" She shrieked in between whimpers. I remained silent and proceeded to take a seat on the shiny bed spread. "Go ahead, tell the whole school! Did you hear? Eloise, she's a drunk! A failure!" She cried hysterically.
I thought for a moment as she sobbed. "I won't tell anyone." I offered quietly. Eloise looked up, her icy blue eyes surrounded by her dampened eye makeup.
"What?" She spoke softly in disbelief.
"I'm not going to tell anyone." I repeated, expressionless, as I was unaware as to what I should do or say in this awkward situation I found myself in.
"Oh perhaps you should!" She said despairingly. "Then they'll send me away and I won't have to deal with any of this anymore!" I was bewildered by the words that were pouting out of a mouth that had appeared so confident.
"Your life is perfect!" I said in an outburst. "You have everything you could ever want! How could you possibly be upset about anything!?" My voice sounded a bit louder than I had intended.
Eloise shook her head disapprovingly. "Those things are so meaningless, though." She explained. "I haven't had real friend since 6th grade since I was the weird kid with glasses and braces." She smiled as she reminisced. "When we moved here, I decided that I was done being insecure. I would change myself and everyone would love me. I was so wrong." Eloise ran her fingers through her silky curls. "I remember feeling so out of place at first. The attention was so weird, but I got used to it. Soon, everyone wanted to be my friend. That was exactly what I wanted. So my life was perfect now, right?" Eloise looked down at the floor, shaking her head slowly. "People began to use me." She started again. "Asking me to buy them expensive things, convincing me to take them to concerts and stuff because they knew I would. It became more obvious to me as time went on, but I didn't say anything because I didn't wanna lose them, the only friends I had. That's when I started to drink." She closed her eyes as a grimace spread across her face. "I thought that maybe that way, I could keep up my image and block out the pain. Sometimes I would just lose it because I was so ashamed of myself. As you can see." She pointed to the spot next to the mirror that I had spotted earlier. She gripped her forehead. "I'm such a mess. I would give anything to go back to the way it was." One last tear dripped down her cheek as she turned to me.
"So why exactly were you in here anyway?" She asked, her voice carrying more curiosity than accusation. Now was my turn to feel uncomfortable.
"Umm..." I began. I closed my eyes and began to explain my reasoning for intruding into her bedroom. She listened attentively, nodding her head as my emotions poured out like a faucet. As I finished, she sat quietly on the bed as if deep in thought.
Suddenly, she whipped her head toward me. "I'll help you if you help me." She suggested, grinning widely. I gave her a confused look as I stared at her. "I'll help you become healthy again and boost your confidence," she started, "If you help me kick this drinking problem. We can help each other." Her big, aqua orbs begged for reassurance. I looked at her with the utmost affection, something I hadn't felt for Eloise for as long as I've known her. A smile bloomed on my fade like a flower in the peak of spring. I nodded my head, as we embraced each other. For the first time in my life, I was perfectly okay with being me. All this time I thought that Eloise had it all, when in reality she was dying inside. I was finally proud of who I was, and the life that I had. And now, I had a best friend with whom I would be able to share it with.