“Any fool can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a daddy!”-Philip Whitmore Sr.

She had always been a fox. Hiding behind curtains, listening to conversations from the vents, pretending to be preoccupied while still recording every detail. But sometimes, a fox is lured out of hiding by a greater force, like the safety of the desolate darkness, or the desire to conquer the pains of hunger. For this fox, it was the call of another’s pain.

The little girl watched her daddy, a man of strong will and little emotion break down and cry. She didn’t know what to do. When she cried over her petty injuries, her mother would hug her and insist that it didn’t hurt anymore. So she slowly, cautiously, crossed the room and wrapped her tiny arms around her father’s neck, hoping that the pain in his heart would cease. But he was too absorbed in his own problems to feel the gentle touch of the child.

The next day, the little girl was told that her daddy was leaving for a little while. She pestered him, asking, “What could be more important than being my daddy?” He tried to detach himself, saying it was just something he needed to take care of. She wondered, “What about the daughter you need to take care of?” Soon after, the daddy left, not even looking back at the airport gate.
For a while, the little girl missed her daddy, begging him on the phone to confirm a return date. She told all her friends about how he would be back soon to get her the puppy she wanted, teach her how to ride her bike without the training wheels, and finally take her to Disney World.
But as time weaned on, she lost hope that her daddy would ever return. As a little ballerina, she would look into the crowd and selectively see the empty seat next to her mother. When girl scouts applications came along, she pranced home to ask her mother if she could join. After finding out there was a father-daughter dance, she stashed all the flyers under her bed. She told people less and less of her daddy, and avoided the topic at large if possible. She found no one could comprehend her story, even if they put forth an effort. While other girls complained about how their feelings were hurt over some petty comment, she could hardly contain her frustration. She thought to herself, “Are those your problems? I’ll show you problems!” Yet she again turned into a fox, hiding her true self from the rest of the world.
She avoided her daddy’s calls, and tried to remain distant from him. To her, it was easier to forget that she had a daddy than to have one that didn’t seem to love her. He would visit her for a month or so sometimes, and she would let herself forget all the pain and sorrow he had caused. He would then leave, and she would grow more sorrowful than before.
After one too many birthdays of e-cards and no phone calls, she gave up. She accepted that this man in and out of her life would always be biologically tied to her, but never be her daddy. Her daddy would be the man of her imagination who attended each and every one of her tennis games, who regularly took her out for ice cream, who taught her to understand the complex world of math. Upon this realization, this man was no longer “daddy,” but just “father.”
This father gave up hope in solving his problem, and decided to return home for good. He entered the house expecting a warm welcome from his little girl. All he saw now was his “little girl,” who was not so little anymore, looking at him with the same teary-eyed look as 9 years earlier. He didn’t know what to do, how to react, what to say to make things better. It wasn’t as simple as giving her a cookie anymore. She needed reassurance, comfort, and explanations.
He didn’t know this though. Being a good father comes from learning and figuring things out along the way. He had missed 9 years worth of learning. He almost immediately gave up the fight for his daughter, simply accepting that things were going to be this way now. His passivity made him a fox.
The daughter was more in pain than ever. She could no longer avoid her problem, it was staring her in the face. All she wanted to do was scream at him, tell him all the things she had been deprived of, and show him all of her friend’s normal fathers. But, she would never be able to do this because she was a fox.
Foxes are generally solitary creatures, but when forced to share their space with others, they choose to either cooperate or fight to try to win the space back. The father and daughter didn’t want to chase each other away, just the pain to stop. So they cooperated with each other, taking emotions out of the relationship and becoming intellectual peers. And after many months, there was a new relationship between the pair. It wasn’t the same tender, overwhelming love, but an appreciation for the other’s company.