Moving on a Still Train | Teen Ink

Moving on a Still Train

July 13, 2013
By Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don&#039;t believe in magic will never find it.&quot; <br /> Roald Dahl


The train horn howled as the engine barreled down the track right next to the track I was parked on. My heart skipped a few beats. I looked up from my book and looked out the window and saw the train lights flash out in the night. Smiling with excitement, I shucked off my blanket and grabbed a jacket on my way out of my room. After a quick stop by the kitchen I walked out of my still train car out onto the platform. The night air was cold. I shivered as I lifted the platform revealing stairs.
Finally, the squeal of the trains brakes sounded and the horn howled once more. Wind ripped at my clothes and hair and the cold bit at my nose and ears, but I kept walking down the track besides the stopping train. Then I saw a beam of light up ahead. I walked faster and my heart rate sped up.
"J is that you?" a deep familiar voice called. My heart melted and I let out a breath of relief.
"Who else would it be, Ledger?" I answered back once he came into view. I smiled at him then broke into a fast jog and fell into his arms.
"I missed you," he whispered into my hair.
"I missed you more," I sighed.
I never wanted to let go, but I loosened my hold on him and looked up at him. He wore his usual train crew clothes. Dirty denim jumper that was tied off at the waist with the arms of the jumper, muddy, brown work boots, black t-shirt, and gray cap that covered his dirty blonde hair. His dark chocolate brown eyes met mine.
"Do you want to move?" He asked as he mindlessly played with my brown hair.
"Not yet, I really like this town, even though there's no sign of her around here," I spoke softly, my heart filling with sadness. His expression changed; his eyes full of sympathy.
"Don't worry," he assured giving me another hug. "We'll find her."
Hugging him tight, I let out a shaky sigh. I was happy that Ledger was here. I looked back up at him again.
"How was it?" I asked.
"The crew here is kind of sketchy, but alright. Ohio's hot." He fanned his face with his hand for emphasis and we laughed together for the first time in months. The laughing died and we stood looking into each other's eyes as the train crew switched out train cars.
I was the first one to talk. "Come inside," I whispered gesturing to my still train car.
"Alright, I just have to tell the crew." But Ledger didn't move. He stood looking at me as the wind grabbed at our clothes. "I really did miss you Jaila."
He cupped my jaw with two rough, calloused hands, and bent his head down. His soft, cold lips met mine and suddenly the world was silent. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. God, I missed him.
"Stay for a while," I whispered against his lips.
The train horn blared twice and the train wheels began to turn. I looked at Ledger and we laughed.
"Looks like you have no choice," I teased.
Ledger kissed me again, slowly, and then looked into my eyes. He smiled. "They knew I wasn't coming back."



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This article has 5 comments.


on Jul. 31 2013 at 5:17 pm
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don&#039;t believe in magic will never find it.&quot; <br /> Roald Dahl

Thank you! And yeah I guess it was thanks for the tips. I'm glad you liked it!

on Jul. 30 2013 at 2:08 pm
E.J.Mathews GOLD, International Falls, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 145 comments
This was really good! I loved everything about it! I only found one mistake, though. when you said "I never wanted to let go, but I loosened my hold on him and looked up at him." I found that 'him' seemed a little repetitive. Maybe if you instead stated 'up into his eyes' instead of 'up at him', it would sound a lot more natural. This story was really great! I want to find out more about the main charactors!

on Jul. 24 2013 at 12:14 pm
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don&#039;t believe in magic will never find it.&quot; <br /> Roald Dahl

Thank you for reading this and for the critism and I'm really glad you liked it. 

on Jul. 23 2013 at 6:08 pm
AineDoyle BRONZE, Pearl River, New York
4 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.&rdquo; <br /> ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

Also, thank you for reviewing my piece. It means alot!

on Jul. 23 2013 at 6:06 pm
AineDoyle BRONZE, Pearl River, New York
4 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.&rdquo; <br /> ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

I really like it!! If there were anything to change, it would be to correct some of the grammar mistakes. For example: "'Not yet, I really like this town, even though...'" could be changed to "Not yet. I really like this town, even though..." Good job!