Consistency | Teen Ink

Consistency

May 17, 2013
By LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.&rdquo;<br /> - George Carlin


Consistency





I’ve always wondered why the sky is so blue. It’s the one thing I’ve noticed that stays consistent. The blue never gets too dark or too light. It has one fixed color and it stays that way every day. It’s good to have something steady. Something to lean back on and say, “You won’t go anywhere, will you?”I wish I could say the same for my life though. Everything in my life is always changing. I can’t call anywhere my home because I usually have to move within three months. The neighborhood I’m currently living in now is what’s considered a ‘shady’ part of the city. I hate that I’m no longer sixteen and now seventeen.
While I sit on the front step of my apartment building, thinking all these things, a police car pulls up. I always liked police cars. Even the blue on them is steady and consistent. I’ve never seen a police car any other color. That blue and white won’t allow you to mistake a police car for anything else.
A man gets out and leans against his car watching me. He doesn’t say anything, but simply stares. His mouth tugs into a smile at one corner. His badge glistens in the sunlight and his uniform freshly pressed; except for that one little crease at his collar. This is what gets me staring at the guy; my eyes are focused on the crease, not on him.
“Hey, kid” he says, “Wanna make some money?”
I’m surprised at first. Cops don’t usually pay any attention to me. But since I’ve never given them a problem before, why would they bother with me anyway?
“Sure,” I say despite my thoughts, “How much?”
“Fifty bucks,” the cop replies “All you have to do is come to a line- up at the police station,”
I nod as Crease hands me the fifty bucks and smiles as he turns to get back in his car. I stare at the money in my hand and smile unaware of the danger I have just put myself in.
The next day, I show up at the police station. I tell the guy at the front desk that I’m here for the line- up. He looks as if he barely registers my presence, but points in the direction of the room where the line- up is being held. I’m led behind a glass wall standing with six other guys. The guy next to me eyes me over with a sad expression.
“Kids too?” he says.
I’m not sure what he meant though. The man is wearing a blue jeans jacket with leather pants. “He’s wearing blue,” I think to myself. “He must be a repeated offender. Blue shows consistency.” Footsteps are heard from behind the glass.
Finally, I hear a woman’s voice say, “That one. That’s the man”
I looked and see two cops walking over to the guy next to me. He is taken out of the room and the rest of us can leave. I look back and see the man who was just pointed out being handcuffed and shoved into another room. I leave quickly without turning back. As I return home, I keep seeing the man being handcuffed and shoved into that room. I try to erase the thought from my mind, but it continues to come back.
The next day, Crease visits me again. His smile seems a little bit bigger and this time, he walks up to me. He pats my shoulder enthusiastically.
“See?” he says “It’s no big deal. Do you think you wanna do it again?”
I look down at the ground and think about it. Crease waits patiently, the smile never wavering.
“Will you pay me again if I do it?”
Crease grins and nods.
“Sure,” I say.
He hands me another fifty dollars and before I knew it, this goes on for the next two weeks.
It’s now Monday and once again I head to the police station. I don’t need to ask the guy at the front desk anymore and he pays me no mind as I walk to the room where the line- up is held. I have made a substantial amount of money and I am confident of never being picked at the line- up.
As I walk through the door, Crease smiles a big toothy grin. I smile back with the same grin. I stand in the spot nearest to the door which is now reserved as “my spot.” There are footsteps heard behind the glass again. I think to myself, “I wonder who it’s going to be this time? The man the farthest from the door looks suspicious, and so does the guy in the middle. This is going to be interesting.” I’m looking at the other guys in the line- up when I hear the man behind the glass say, “It’s that guy right there.”
I watch as two officers walk into the room. I look down the row to see who will be picked but I hear the footsteps stop in front of me. I stand there bewildered and speechless. When I turn my head to the door, Crease is grinning again and has handcuffs dangling on his finger. I look down at the floor, trying to process all that has happened. Then I see my shoes. “Blue…” I think to myself. I realize now that I am in big trouble.
“How am I going to get out of this? What am I going to do?” I think as I am being handcuffed and led away. Now I realize how that man must have felt when he was led away my first time here.
Who knew blue could be so consistent and yet so unlucky?
It’s the end of the line for me.


The author's comments:
Sometimes words or phrases give me short story ideas. This particular short story happened to come from a word my dad introduced me to a couple of years ago. At the time,I didn't quite understand what the word meant, but despite that, this story came out of it. Enjoy!

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This article has 18 comments.


on Dec. 28 2013 at 6:55 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.&rdquo;<br /> - George Carlin

Never thought about a sequel before! Hmm, I'll think about it, and thanks for the feedback!

on Dec. 28 2013 at 3:15 pm
Birdsinger SILVER, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
7 articles 1 photo 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;I cannot live without books.&rdquo; <br /> ~Thomas Jefferson

I really enjoyed this story. One thing I'm curious about is what this kid was arrested for. If you write a sequel, I plan to read it! ;)

on Dec. 2 2013 at 6:53 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.&rdquo;<br /> - George Carlin

Thanks! Yeah, I understand what you're saying. I plan to edit it hopefully soon. I appreciate the feedback!

on Dec. 1 2013 at 4:20 pm
ImAKeeper SILVER, Missouri City, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.&quot;- William Ernest Henley

Overall, I thought this story was very interesting. I honestly have never read a story like this. It's an original idea and it could be a really great story if you refine it a little. One thing that I will emphasize is show not tell. In the intro, you are just saying all this stuff about the main character like where they live and stuff but if you could show the reader instead of telling,  you could have a greater effect. I liked the way that the person kept referring to the blue all throughout in an almost-innocent way despite the fact that they were caught up in something far more complex than they believed. Overall, I liked it! Well done! (:

on Oct. 7 2013 at 7:27 am
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.&rdquo;<br /> - George Carlin

It's okay. I wrote this a couple of years ago and it's been on my computer for so long and I just wanted to put it somewhere. I plan to edit it too because I see there's a lot that needs fixing. Thanks for the feedback though!

OldYoungOne said...
on Oct. 4 2013 at 10:30 pm
Particularly I felt a little disinterested in the story. I could appreciate the consistence of the use of lus and its association with saddness, but I wasn't necessarily rushing to read the next line. Its a good prose don't get me wrong, I just thought it could be more edgy in the moral and the story line. Possibly adding something else to the story abotu how the guy came to be framed. The ending fell pretty flat for me... Sorry.

on Oct. 2 2013 at 6:56 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.&rdquo;<br /> - George Carlin

Thank You!

on Oct. 1 2013 at 9:59 pm
BeSempiternal SILVER, League City, Texas
9 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.&quot;

Wow. Its so powerful!  

on Sep. 27 2013 at 8:44 pm
Amaranthinium GOLD, Dade City, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Do not let numbers tell you what to do. You are blood and earth, not theory and chalk.&quot; -Welcome to Night Vale

I'll be glad to! Just tell me when you post it :D

on Sep. 1 2013 at 5:56 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.&rdquo;<br /> - George Carlin

Thank You! As for the message..
I'm not really sure. When I wrote this, I wasn't thinking of one. I just wanted to write down the story in my head. I like your moral though! :D It's something to think about though, definitely. Thanks for the feedback! 

on Sep. 1 2013 at 5:42 pm
tori-gurl PLATINUM, Norwich, New York
32 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
smile through everything no matter how bad it gets because it could be worse and if it gets worse well then it can only get better. :)

I really like how you were able to keep your idea of blue being consistently seen as a bad thing throughout the entire story. I think it is cool that you linked the color with the emotion you expect to feel the entire time, because most people associate blue with sadness. The concept of the story was strange to me, but it a good way (if that makes any sense haha) It definitely was odd and the end was a twist that I was able to see coming. Was there a certain message you were trying to portray by having the boy pose along side with the other criminals and was then finally seen as one? Because that was definitely interesting. It's almost a moral in life; dont be anything other than what you want people to see you as. I liked it! Good job! :D  

on Aug. 29 2013 at 9:57 am
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.&rdquo;<br /> - George Carlin

Very true! Thanks for the feedback!

midnightwoah said...
on Aug. 28 2013 at 9:19 pm
midnightwoah, Monett, Missouri
0 articles 0 photos 188 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;We accept the love we think we deserve.&quot; -Stephen Chbosky

Very creepy but sends a good message. Any money is not good money when you put yourself in danger

on Aug. 28 2013 at 6:46 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.&rdquo;<br /> - George Carlin

Thanks! Yeah, when I wrote it, he was supposed to be mistaken for someone else. I'm debating it now though, but thanks for the feedback! I'll take what you said into consideration when I edit.

on Aug. 28 2013 at 12:16 pm
tikapeek97 BRONZE, Waterboro, Maine
2 articles 1 photo 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;good things come in small packages&quot; =)

This is a really intresting story and the first part about the blue really pulled me in. I liked how you kept pulling back the blue and consistency.But I agree with Amaranthinium. I think that you could add a lot to this story by describing the police station and the men in the line up. Also I know that you were trying to go for a twist ending, but I was a bit confused as to why he was arrested, It could just be me missing it but I wasnt sure if he was mistaken for someone. Over all it was a very intresting story. Great job! 

on Aug. 27 2013 at 6:49 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.&rdquo;<br /> - George Carlin

Thanks for the feedback! It does help though. I wrote this story a while ago so I didn't pick up on some of the mistakes that I made. I'll take it all into consideration. Thanks so much! When i edit it and re-post it, I hope you can read it and tell me what you think! 

on Aug. 27 2013 at 5:56 pm
Amaranthinium GOLD, Dade City, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Do not let numbers tell you what to do. You are blood and earth, not theory and chalk.&quot; -Welcome to Night Vale

And here's various grammatical nitpicking, though in general your grammar's good so I wouldn't worry too  much: a couple of punctuation errors  - ““See?” he says[.] “It’s….” and “smile[,] unaware,” little things like that. there are very few errors like this, though, don’t worry. “He hands me another fifty dollars and before I knew it, this goes on for the next two weeks.” Tense error - and before I know it, not knew it. Read carefully - it’s really easy to slip up and write in past tense when you’re doing present tense. A couple of awkward passive phrases - “footsteps are heard” is vague and could be active. Try “I could hear footsteps” or something like that. Also, generally a character’s thoughts are italicized. Do what you feel comfortable writing, but just know that it’s a little jarring to see thoughts in quotes when the norm is italics.   I hope all this helps you somehow :) 

on Aug. 27 2013 at 5:52 pm
Amaranthinium GOLD, Dade City, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Do not let numbers tell you what to do. You are blood and earth, not theory and chalk.&quot; -Welcome to Night Vale

I think that the one thing your story is really missing to me is atmosphere. Your characters just sort of go through the motions of your plot, rushing, it seems, to get to your twist ending. Am I supposed to feel creeped out? Should I be laughing, or hiding under my covers? I get bad feelings from Crease and the way the other men in the line-up act, but try and flesh out that atmosphere even more. Tell me how cold or blank or generally uncomfortable the police station is, how sad and scared the men in the line-up look, how much sleep your character loses over his newfound job. You don’t have to go crazy with it, and you don’t have to get all poetic or anything like that either - just let your narrator tell me a little more of what he sees so I can really feel the emotional impact that you’re wanting me to feel from this. Fleshing the story out with a few more important details could also slow it down a little, because it felt a tad rushed to me.   This is a small detail, but I wouldn’t have your character refer to “ danger I have just put myself in.” For one, to be very technical and annoying, it makes no sense for your character to tell me that - the story is in the present tense. He would only be able to tell me that he’s putting himself in danger if a) he’s looking back on his experience, and thus narrating in past tense or b) he’s god or something and knows everything. More importantly, I’d be more surprised if you didn’t tell me that the character was getting into danger - just let the story develop on its own and do your best to surprise me at the end.   As for the good, I like the story because it is creepy and surreal and it makes me think. I want to know what you mean, what you’re trying to say (and I’m sure you’re saying something), and because of that it makes me re-read your story and appreciate it more and more each time. (By the way, if you'd like to explain to me what you meant by it, I'd love to know!) It's unique, too, which is always a plus. Also, your grammar and writing style is good. I really get the sense that an average teenager is telling me this story, which is great. I like how he names the officer after the crease in his shirt, and the character's fascination with blue and consistency is really interesting to me. Starting out your story by introducing the whole blue thing really pulled me in, too. Overall, you just need to add a little oomph to it - it's a great story and idea and your writing is lovely. :)