You don't matter.

Remember that.

Remember that when you're laughing at me
Remember that when you're teasing me
Remember that when you're bullying me
For trying.

And when you're slurring secrets about you're half remembered Friday night,
And when you're telling stories about the latest party bust,
And when you're soaking it all up and saying
"This is high school,"

Remember me.

While you were passing out,
Throwing up,
Dropping out,

I was seeing new movies, I was joining new clubs at school,
I was eating out with my friends,
I was sampling every ice cream flavor,
And watching Gossip Girl religiously and taking bets one the winner of the Bachelor,
I was painting my nails all different colors
I was looking at colleges and
Going to football games.

While you were getting high,
Letting loose,
And living once,

I was learning French and swing dancing,
I was riding rides at amusement parks,
I was flirting with the cute guy at Starbucks,
I was baking birthday cake with three different icings,
I was tickling my brother and beating everyone at scrabble,
I was emailing Stanford, I was plotting perfect christmas gifts and the ultimate Halloween costume.

While you were giving up,
Dying out,

And not to mention, hungover.

I was playing sand volleyball and face painting,
I was selling lemonade and parallel parking, I was learning how to keep old friends and also make new ones,
I was having study dates,
And being thrown in the pool, I was organizing a new room and a new closet, studying for an AP class, practicing the piano, and cheering at a volleyball game.
All in one night.
I was going strong and not just treading water.
I was swimming laps.

Remember that, when you're suspended from school

Remember that when you're teasing me,
Remember that when you're laughing at me,
Remember that when you're rolling your eyes,
Because there's an acceptance letter in my hand.

You can't tell me this is high school. You can't tell me it's the norm. You can't tell me I'm not living.

I'm the one who's living.

It's you who can't remember what you did last weekend, or have a good time without drenching your brain in alcohol. It's you that can't meet people without weed clogging up your pores and cigarette smoke stealing up your breath. It's you who has the reputation and it's you that's drowning, floundering in the water and breathing in lungfuls of ocean that tastes like failure. It's you who's not living. It's you that's screwing yourself up before life even begins. It's you.

And you?

You don't matter.

Remember that.