Ashley
Godinez

Twenty

“17 YEAR OLD CASSIE HENDERSON FOUND DEAD AND ALONE IN LOCAL MOTEL.”
All the headlines read the same. I walked through the store aisles uncomfortably. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Is she really gone? No, this can’t be happening. This isn’t real. I need to get out of here.
I start my car, and as I’m putting on my seatbelt I look out my window, and I see Cassie staring right at me. No, I’m just imagining things. She’s dead. She’s gone. She’s never coming back. She called me twenty times, and left twenty voicemails. This isn’t happening. I look back again, and Cassie isn’t there.
I get home, and Dad’s in his office grading papers, Caroline, my step-mother is helping my step-sister, Lisa with her multiplication facts. Caroline offers me leftovers; however, I decline them. I’m way too upset and bitter to eat. Caroline starts, “oh, Katherine, not this again. You know Dr. Marrowgin said we’ll have to try to at least help you.” I honestly hate when she brings this up. She’s only worried because she’s afraid of what other people will think if they knew. “I know, Caroline. You never let me forget. I ate before I came home, and anyway I’m going up to my room. I would like to be alone considering everything that’s going on.” I leave the kitchen, march upstairs, and I flop onto my bed.
I remember everything that happened that night. That’s when we, Cassie, and I, were both really bad and gradually getting worse. We tried getting better numerous times, but we failed. Cassie still continued to puke in her mom’s rose garden, and I stopped eating all together. I was nearly below one-hundred, and she was exactly at one-hundred. Our BMI’s said we were underweight, but that didn’t bother me, and that’s why we started arguing. She wanted to seriously get better this time, but in order for her to do that; I’d have to do the same. I thought it was just a conspiracy to get her to be the skinniest one. I agreed, but Cassie didn’t believe me, and I didn’t believe her.
Right after our argument, Cassie rushed home to tell her mom about everything that she had been doing. She went to go see all these doctors, and she wanted me to do the same, but I couldn’t because I wasn’t entirely sure if I did want to get better. I told her I’d think about it. Cassie’s parents sent her away to some place called, ‘Sunset Springs.’ When she came back she looked different. She was apparently at a healthy weight. I was proud of her, but she opened her mouth and said, “Katherine, I can’t be your friend if you’re going to continue to starve, and count every single calorie.” I was surprised that those words came out of her mouth.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, you need to get help like I did. I would hate for something drastic to happen to you.”
“You’re right. I’ll try to talk to either my Dad or Caroline. Thanks for caring.” It was actually something that I’d been contemplating ever since Cassie was admitted to Sunset Springs.
The next day, I told my dad that I needed to talk to him. He said it would be better if I waited to talk to him when he got home from work. He kissed my forehead and left. I watched the door close right in front of my face, and shortly after Caroline comes downstairs. She starts to make breakfast, and I sit on the barstool across from her. The next few words came out of my mouth so rapidly. “Caroline, I need help. I’m starving myself, I’m nearly under one-hundred pounds, I don’t know how to stop, and I’m afraid I’m basically slowly killing myself. It’s getting out of control. Please. I need you.” She turned around, and I could tell she was astounded. My tears were falling from my face when she said, “ok, honey. Don’t worry, it’ll be alright. I’ll call your dad, and we’ll figure something out. Hang on.”
She left the kitchen, and went into the study, and called my father. He came home shortly after the phone call. They were calling all these different professionals, and I was silently freaking out. Within three hours later they said they found the perfect place for me. I was going to be admitted to the Ostroff Center. I was kind of afraid because I wasn’t sure what to expect, and I felt like I was doing this because Cassie wanted me to, not because I wanted to.
That night I went over to Cassie’s and I told her about where I was going, and she was really happy for me. She said she’d be here for me when I get out, and we’d be healthy, and we’d take a road trip together. It sounded fun and nice at the same time, but little did I know Cassie still continued to make herself throw up.
I was at the Ostroff Center for almost a month, and I was excited to go back home. I was healthy, I was happy, and I just wanted to tell Cassie about my unbelievable progress.
Caroline and my Dad picked me up from the Ostroff Center, and I told them about how I’m at a healthy weight, and the doctors really helped me. I gave them Dr. Marrowgin’s number because she still wanted to keep an eye on me.
When I got home, I immediately got in my car, and I headed over to Cassie’s. I knock on the door, and Mrs. Henderson answers the door, and greets me with, “Katherine! It’s so nice to see you! I’m glad you’re back. You look good!” She half hugged me half shook me. “Cassie’s not here right now, she’s out with some new friends, but I’ll tell her you stopped by, ok honey.”
“Ok, thank you, Mrs. Henderson.”
I drove back home wondering who Cassie could be with. She knew I was going to be released today. I got home, and Caroline handed me my phone and said that Cassie had called. I called her back without hesitation, but when she answered I could barely hear her. The background was really loud, and I remember I kept asking her where she was, but she would never give me an actual location. She told me she was drunk, and on new medication. I remember I repeatedly asked her if she was alright. Cassie kept saying, “Yes, Katherine, I’m fine. By the way have you eaten today?” I didn’t know what was going on, but she was upsetting me because she was continuously mocking me. I told her I was done talking to her, and I hung up.
I woke up the next morning to the sound of Mrs.Henderson’s voice in the kitchen talking to Caroline. “Her car’s not out front nor is it in the garage. She hasn’t called, and she’s not answering.”
“Is Cassie ok?” I came into their conversation.
“Katherine, Mrs. Henderson wants to know if you’ve heard from Cassie?”
“I spoke to her last night, but she was being really rude, and she was acting different so i hung up.”
“Well, if you hear from her let me know, please.” Mrs. Henderson left. I ran upstairs, and I checked my phone. Twenty missed calls, and twenty new voicemails. They were all from Cassie. I sat down, and begun to listen to them.
“Hey, Katherine, it’s me. These new meds are messing with my head, call me back.” The first ten were along those lines, but in voicemails number eleven through fourteen she kept repeating where she was. “I’m at that sleazy motel. You remember the one off the highway. It’s called Hillside Inn or whatever. I’m in like number fifty-eight I think.” Number fifteen is where she started scaring me, “Hey, Katherine, I need you. I’m throwing up a bunch, and I’m alone, and I’m so afraid. I need you Kath-.” Seventeen, eighteen, and nineteen were her saying, “Katherine, I need your help.” The last one, number twenty was where Cassie kept repeating, “I don’t want to go yet.” I was really terrified that something horrible had happened to my best friend. I sped right over to Cassie’s house, and I played the voicemails for her mom, and her mom started sobbing. Mrs. Henderson jumped into my car, and we managed to find our way to the Hillside Inn. We pull into the parking lot, and Mrs. Henderson shouts, “THERE’S CASSIE’S CAR!” I park, Mrs. Henderson checks Cassie’s car, and I make my way to number fifty eight, and I’m afraid to unveil what’s behind this closed door. I slowly turn the knob, and I walk through the inside of the room, and Cassie is not in either of the beds. I walk through the bathroom, and that’s where I discovered my best friends body. Mrs. Henderson was trailing close behind, and then she let out a loud shriek while she collapsed onto the floor holding Cassie in her lap. She kept repeating, “my baby! My baby!” Over and over while she dissolved into her tears.
The newspaper headlines were true, but they didn’t mention that I should’ve been there for my best friend when she needed me.
Now, I’ll just continue to sit here, and read the newspapers in my room. Back at Ostroff.