I couldn't stand it.
He left me here alone on this mound of dirt-in this hell hole of a place.
I still ask myself
Why.
Why did I ignore the e-mail?
Why didn't I tell somebody?
Why was he not joking?
Why could I not tell the difference?
Why didn't I know sooner?
Why couldn't I have taken his place?
It doesn't matter now.
He's gone. Gone and left me here.
To fend for myself on this God forsaken planet. Alone and nobody to comfort me.
I shouldn't question myself, but if he loved me, why did he leave me?
I tried to follow, but his will said no, and so did his last word.
I still can't help it.
Even a year later, I still ask
Why