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When she goes through with it
she might go from best friend to dead friend, or girl-you-barely-knew to ohmygod-what-could-i-have-done?
she might become the whispers throughout the day speaking truth you don't want to hear.
or she might add to the chorus of shrieking ghosts that find you in the dark corners of the room of whenever you look in the mirror.
if you really did know her you could write a speech about it for english, and she would become the 98 on your midterm because a teacher with the grading pen had pity.
you could break yourself into a million shards trying to put the pieces she left behind together for her.
you could see her face in the reflection everytime you glanced out a window because the people in front of you were making you sick.
she could be the cold fingers that comb and weave your hair when you're sleeping, or maybe with enough visits like this her finger grow warmer.
she could be the person you think of whenever you hear that song or watch that movie. or walk into the room piled to the ceiling with her laughs and smiles, so thick you can't even walk inside..
or maybe you can't think of her anymore, you can think of her ghost following you around, or think of her body sleeping on the metal inspection table, with doctors poking at her insides. then in the funeral home dressed in something she would hate, and lied out to dry with everyone to watching. then burrowing into the ground for hibernation waiting for a spring that will never really come.
but no matter what form you remember her in, thoughts tainted by her will always come with a feeling that can't quite be described and can never be escaped. all you can do it sit there and feel it.
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