The feel of his hand on my back is supposed to be comforting, but it just brings back memories. I know how love is supposed to feel, this, this isnt it. I know that. But, he wont let go. If he isnt holding my hand, then it’s the other thing he seems to hold in his palm, my life.
Its been, almost four years. Are we dating? Everyone asks me that. I guess we are. Its whatever he wants. Its whatever he says in the emails, in the moments where he knows more about my life than any other person could. Its not because I told him. Its because he knows.
All my classes. He is in, all of them. School was my safe haven. But he followed me, even there. Why can’t he leave me alone?
I have told him no. I don’t want him. I don’t even, I don’t even know what else I can do. My friend s don’t like him, I guess that’s because they can almost see what he is. Or maybe its because, they know about the time I called the police.
The funny thing is, his correctional facilities didn’t correct him. Isnt, isnt it weird, that no one can really see him for what he is? I can. I know the name for it. I know. His name, well, the name for what he is. Its, stalker. That is what he is. And I don’t know what else to do about it. I, really shouldn’t even be thinking this. I, am not mean to people.
I can feel him whisper in my ear, but I don’t know what it is he says. I smile, a little. Because what else can I do? If he is everywhere, then isnt my everywhere safer if I do what he says? Maybe, I should move to Wisconsin. That would fix my problems….
`



******************
I can see him put his hand on her back, I can see him lean up and whisper in her ear. Its sick. She smiles a smile, that I know is fake, but he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t care if she is happy, so long as he can hold her in the palm of his manipulative hands.
I wish he could see, how close I am to killing him with my bare hands. My hands arent manipulative. They are dangerous in their own way. My hands know how to wipe away a tear, and they know how to deliver a punch with speed and accuracy.
I wish she could see, what I can see. He is buliding a cage arouund her. And unless she kicks it down, she wont beable to get out of it. I feel so helpless, and I know that she does too. I know that she doesn’t think she can do it, I know she thinks she cant break free. But, I will help her. I will. We may not be, as close as I would like, but I will do what I can. He cant be with her always.
I will stop him. I will give her, the freedom that she craves. If it’s the last thing I can do… If, there is any possible way. He will be stoped.




*********************
I can feel her heart beat under my hand. I love her. I lean up and whisper in her ear, “ I can feel your heart beat for me.” She smiles. God she has has a beautiful smile. Its almost painful to watch. The only thing more painful, is knowing, that at first she didn’t want me. But, I am persistant. I can make her love me. She cant get away from me. Because I love her.
She has tried to leave before. Tried to get help for her problem. I am her problem. That’s what she thinks anyway. He friends don’t like me. Because they think I am hurting her. That I am stalking her. As if I could scare her like that. No, I am protecting her from a world of peopkle that want to correct you. I am a silent guardian. And if the world has a problem with that, then too bad for the world.



***************************Someboddy get him awway from me. Somebody make him leave.