I growled in frustration as I smashed my bat against the lamp post. My face is stained from tears. My mother and I went at it again and she just pushed my buttons. Like she always does and she just got the better of me. So here I am pounding away at the lamp post with a bat crying out in frustration.

Over and over I swung my arm back as I hit the post. After about another 20 minutes I fell to the floor in exhaustion. I put my head in my hands as I let out the last of my tears. My hands stung from the vibration of the bat hitting the post. I'll be feeling this pain for at least a week, but at least it's better than me cutting myself. I stare down at my arm from the old scars when I did cut myself. Of course my mother never noticed because she was too busy with her boyfriend. Who is a jerk and a good for nothing scum bag. And he is the reason my mother and I go at it. Because she doesn't see how worthless he is and it just gets under my skin. He's so lucky that I don't hit his head with my bat. God would that make me feel a whole lot better.





******

I roll out of bed restless. I couldn't sleep last night after my midnight smashing session. I sigh looking at the clock. I'm late for work, so I hurry up and get ready. My mother is gone already at work and her loser boyfriend is more than likely still here. As I walk out the house I see some of his shirt, so on my way to the car I stuff them in the trash.

"You're late Zara." "Sorry." I say as I get behind the counter. I can't lose my job or I'll completely lose my mind because I'll have to be home a lot more. My home doesn't even feel like my home anymore. My mother and her boyfriend make me feel like an invader. So school, work, and going over to friends keep me from snapping completely, and doing something that I might regret.

I get home and see my mother in the living room with Dave sitting right next to her. I glare in their direction as I head to my room. I slam the door and lock it behind me sliding a chair under the nob to make it more secure. My room is my space where I don't want them to come in. "Zara!!!" I hear my mother scream from the hallway. I just turn on my stereo and crank it up. Now there's pounding at the door with more screaming. The door is bowing a little as they try and open it. The nob jiggles but doesn't click open. "Open this door now!!!" Dave yells. I laugh at how he thinks I'd listen to him. Some druggie who's just mooching off my mom. They keep at it so I go and open the door and give them a cold glare. "Did you throw away Dave's clothes?" I just shrug and give a so what look. My mother starts screaming at me because this isn't the fits time I've done it. I just tune her out and look away trying so hard not to blow up. But then Dave grabs my arm and makes me face him. Now my anger is raising, and before I had time to think, I pulled my fist back and soaked him in the face. I shoved him into the wall and looked him straight in the eye. "DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!" I yell. I go back to my room and slam the door in my mom's face. She looked confused and maybe a little angry, and slightly hurt, but I know this won't make her break up with him. She's just dumb and lonely. I grab some stuff and open my window needing to get away. I get into my car and pull out of the driveway not even looking back to see if my mom might have noticed.