Each night they slept yards apart from each other. He would gather her fire wood and she would start her own fire and neither of them spoke a word until one night she said, “Thank you. Sleep well.” You see, this Protector had failed many of his other missions and even though he still wasn’t perfect, he still cared. Not unto her liking, he very much found himself enthralled with violence. He would smash branches together or throw rocks at birds as he walked. She much preferred to sing. It seemed if he really enjoyed her singing he would randomly start kicking a tree. I think he thought that perhaps his joy would flow from his foot into the bark to make the tree dance for him or something. I mean who kicks trees when they are happy?

His eyes constantly watched her and they started walking side by side. One day, his hand slipped into hers. Her hand tingled under his firm grasp and she was too warm and red to look up. She just stared at the green flickers of grass that kept popping up from beneath her brown carpet. She often told him he was handsome and strong. That she was proud of him and that he didn’t need to be violent or scary to be amazing. She found herself liking him.

He found that her love for God attracted him, but he also found that she allowed him to say whatever he pleased. This did not please her, but she joined in and said things she wasn’t proud of. She was too scared of losing him like she had everything else to not make him feel like what he was doing to her spirit was wrong. She was rather surprised that under the artistry of stars there had been no passionate undertakings. He seemed to be all talk and little action, but she still managed to boost his self-esteem. She didn’t think that out here there would be anything better. Their difference was that he knew there was better out there and he wanted to look.

One sunny day she woke up and rolled over to see his face next to her. She looked forward to saying, “Good morning!” then hearing his response. She loved hearing his voice and being with him even when it compromised her inside. But he wasn’t there. He had left. She didn’t know why or when. I guess because it was evident that there would be no “action” in his life that he would just leave to go track some down. She wanted to slip back under her comforter of depression because she had found that she had fallen in love. She fantasized of them together. They would get married and love each other. They would travel and keep each other “safe”.

When reality finally hit her in the face like a truck, she burst into tears. For three hours she just rocked back and forth sobbing. Then she saw a stray rose. Her wet lips smiled and she perked up a little bit, realizing she had God and what a poor choice he would’ve made for her life. She needed someone stronger and more faithful in his spirit and in his life, someone gentle that took care of her instead of himself. That wasn’t Protector. She wanted a helpmeet that didn’t leave her feeling spread too thin, like she had to try harder each day to hold his fleeting attention. Overcome with sadness, disappointment, and gratitude for the life God used him to help save, she stood up alone yet again. But this time, it wasn’t so terrible. Not really.