Hate Blog Entry #1
Topic: Burn list

This blog is perfectly described by it's name – HATE. You might wonder why me of all people would create such a page but it's all because of him. Joseph Chambers. Currently Number One on my long list of hatred and despise; and I'm pretty sure he will stay there until I finally forget – or until I wring his neck, a mischievous smirk appearing on my face. But of course, I'm not that type of person. Never have, never will be. At least that's what I thought until IT happened. All the good in me completely drained away along with my cheerful soul...

BURN AND DEATH

#1: Joseph Chambers.

And now, the honor of presenting the Number Two to the most despicable low-life I have ever met.

#2: Eryn Swift


As of now,
The Queen of Hell


It was bad enough that I'm flat out dateless because of a certain someone who decided that they wanted some more freedom and the chance to “play the field” before their high school ended, but it was worse to find that someone making out with my best friend only a few hours after he spoke the words: It's over. I mean, cold-hearted much? You break a girl's heart before the biggest social dance in her life without a reasonable explanation, leaving her hanging and then she, of all people, catches you in the middle of a spit-swap with her close friend. I can't believe I wasted three years of my life with this jerk! What was I thinking – what was he thinking? Everything was planned. We would fly off to UCLA together, he'd be the all-star on the Bruins soccer team and I'd be the amateur photographer whose photos make people stare in awe. But everything is ruined, all because he's a stupid fool who no doubt was cheating on me the whole time. Although, the surprising part was the fact that Eryn was being unfaithful alongside him. So much for best buds.

So as I walked the halls of Clayton Academy, I forced myself to shut the Pandora's box that is growing within my soul, placing a fake smile on my face as if nothing happened in the past twenty-four hours because all I want is for this feeling of disgust toward my friend to completely vanish. Therefore, I made sure to tell Eryn that I have already forgiven her when she approached me this morning. It wasn't completely honest, but believe me, I was trying so hard for it to be. However, she didn't exactly make it easy:

“I am so sorry, Lexis. I swear I didn't mean to...it just..happened! Please please please forgive me.”

Her apology irked me. How annoying it was to hear her ranting until I finally let out a breath and said the very words I didn't want to let escape my lips: 'Wipe the slate clean' and gave her a quick smile before waving away and walking to my Spanish class. But I think the fates are against me because shortly before I entered the classroom, I caught a glimpse of the jerk himself come out of nowhere and grab Eryn's waist from behind, that flirtatious expression of hers appeared on her perfectly tanned face. I felt the fire burn in my eyes at the sight of those two who dared taunt my fragile heart – the traitors! How can I let them be so happy while I suffer in the dark? I was the one who was affected by their backstabbing actions, wasn't I the one who found her two-timing boyfriend with her best friend? Shouldn't they be drowning in guilt rather than happiness?!! What kind of crappy destiny is this?!?

Hate Blog Entry #2
Topic: Taunt and Ache

I was on my way to the library during lunch when it happened. AGAIN. The two lovebirds were in the middle of the courtyard with their around each other. Do know how badly I wish that I have supernatural powers so that I could shoot fireballs from the tip of my fingers and burn them at the stake? My heart aches at the sight! Why did it have to be my own best friend? I wouldn't be like this if it was anyone else! But making it Eryn made the situation even worse – more treason. And it hurts knowing that she of all people betrayed me. You know, she was the one who introduced us at Ashley Crenshaw's party in 8th Grade so I wonder how long this crap have been going on behind my back...I don't even want to think about it. I want to believe that Eryn was innocent and Joseph just lured her in but-- it's not that easy considering her history with guys.

FASHION FIASCOS (just because I'm feeling mean and harsh)

#1: Goth Chic from the Computer Club - > I usually respect other people's sense of style, but not today. There was the choker, the too tight, too short black skirt. Then to top it off, the fishnet leggings.

#2: Cameron Henderson - > she was wearing black Mary Janes with skinny jeans. Total no-no.

#3: Glasses girl twenty feet away - > you look drab, there's really no words that come to my mind. Yep, that bad.


Love was always supposed to be
Something wonderful to me
To watch it grow inside yourself
To feel your heart beside itself
….
I know if there is any chance
For us to find out happiness
We've got to learn to let it go
Forget all the pain we know


Heartbreak, Heartache:
Charon < - Greek Mythology, ferryman of the dead


“Yo, Alexis!” I turned around to see an upbeat Leon Carter – soccer star and my good friend – heading my way with a box of what seemed like pink and red roses in sets of ten in each vase. Hm, what is he up to this time? I mean, roses? It's not Valentine's yet. A holiday that no longer means anything to me. Sure, there will be a lot of favorable guys to pick from before then but that's a month away! Will I really be ready by then or will I still be hungover the one person that made my heart jump simply at the sound of his voice? Which will it be, I have no idea. But I know one thing: he wasn't worth the time. At least that's what I think now.

I beamed and placed that false grin I have been sporting around all day long to show how “unaffected” I am after the breakup – NOT. “What are you up to, Leo?” I asked, glancing at the flowers of love. How disgusting. You both know that it will never, and can never last. The first few months are fine, perfect actually mostly because the new couple is still going through t heir “honeymoon phase” but wait a few more months and you'll feel yourself more distant from the other person than before. He'll start making excuses for missing dates(he's probably with you best friend). He won't call or text as much(because apparently, he's too freaking busy with football or so he says). Then he'll hesitate at the thought of splitting up with you but after a few years, he'll drop the bomb in front of the entire junior class.

Deep breath. Don't blow up now.

“Oh nothing,” he replied, holding a rose to me. I could have sworn I flinched at the gesture but recovered, fingering the petals, and with a tight smile.

“What's this for?” I twisted it between my fingers.

Leon shrugged, walking off with a goofy grin on his face towards the banged up Jetta his dad gave him for his sixteenth birthday. He looked back once...twice and drove off into I-94. That guy. He sure hasn't changed over the years – unlike some people, thank goodness for that. But this thing in my hand, it reeks of charm and affection so I lowered my head, my hair hiding the hate and detest that cascaded over my eyes. Fool, I thought as I stalked towards the nearest garbage bin and tossed that stupid rose in. I sneered. Those who allow themselves to be smitten with another are hanging by a thread.

---
“Hey, honey!” my mother greeted when I arrived home that night. She was in her study, no doubt working on another novel while dad was chopping away in the kitchen. I still wonder how they were able to stay together all these years when they're such opposites. It's just unfair – and confusing.

I nodded in her direction. I placed my hand on the banister, however, I didn't even take two steps before she called out to me. And guess what came out of her mouth.

“How's Joseph?”

The question left me standing there, frozen. 'How is he, mom?' I wanted to say, 'he humiliated me with a break up and now he's going out with Eryn. Yeah, remember Eryn? HER.' But not wanting her sudden interrogation on the subject, I simply muttered: “In hell, I hope.”

There was some shuffling. “What was that?”

I shook my head and took a step, “He's wonderful, he says hi.” Ugh, I can't believe myself. Lying to my own mother. Saying that that ninny was far from what he really was. Despicable, loathsome, shameful, a slimy dirt bag. I'm sure any of those fit his description fine. What can I say? I hate the guy. So much that I wish he was – well, you know. But I have a plan to take him down and that little backstabber too.