Money, money, money…call, call, call…for money…What have I done?

I’ve pawned my jewels, borrowed money worth thousands from my cousins, bought a house (for my aging mother and grown-up siblings) under my name, invested in a trike (a Yamaha motorcycle with passenger cart), partied at a bar…just cases and carts of Samuguels

Lied and cried to you, and angered you…disappointed you…disgraced you…What have I done?

I’ve spent---no---WASTED good money after bad.
I’ve abused YOUR love…What have I done?

I’ve angered my first-born child, deceived my children, called NEVER to ask how y’all were doing---while I was away.

On a trip you bought for me…a belated Christmas and early Birthday gift…
A gift that had cost you 5 Grand in total…exactly, 4,600…knock off 2 Benjamins.

But you sugarcoat that boiling-oil disappointment and anger with gestures of forgiveness…gestures of unENDING LOVE that I didn’t earn…or deserve.

I have this unnamed motto: forgive, FORget, and do it all over again.

I'M sick, not flesh or bone, but I’m SICK to the heart…

Sick that I can’t and won’t stop asking, wanting, crying FOR more...MONEY!