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His Forbidden Love Parts Three Through Five
The next day, they met at school as always. As always, he bent to give her a hug, and, as always, her friend, Casey, was there. While he did not particularly dislike Casey, she was always rude to him and so he preferred her to not be around. Suddenly, there was a loud commotion behind him. As he turned to see what was going on, he noticed her trip over Casey’s book bag and fall to the floor. Seeing as how he dealt with injuries everyday, he was not overly worried about her; at least, not at first. He waited a few seconds to see if she would get up, but when she didn’t, he ran to her side. Her head was bleeding a lot, but so do all head wounds. The bigger concern was that she was unconscious. Screaming at Casey to call for an ambulance, he worked fervently, thanking God that his mom was a trauma nurse and had taught him what to do in a situation like this. While he worked, he whispered softly, “I love you.” When the ambulance arrived what seemed like an eternity later, the techs allowed him to ride to the hospital with her. By this time, she had returned to consciousness and was trying to get up. Believing that she may have a concussion, the techs asked her questions like her name, address, phone number, and who the president was. Now that he knew she was alive, he really had time to think for the first time since she had hit her head. The sight of her blood pooling quickly on the tile floor brought back memories from his past and hers that he wasn’t sure he was capable of handling. Many years ago, she had been involved in a car crash that almost proved to be fatal. Although he had not been there at the time, he had heard the story enough times to have nightmares about it as if he had been. After several hours of stress for her mom, her, and him, the doctors finally cleared her to go home. He helped to gently place her in the wheel-chair and take her out to her mom’s car. All the way home, she did not say a word, and he couldn’t help wondering why…
“I love you too,” she told him. Confused, he looked up at her from across her bed. It was 11 o’clock at night on a Friday and she was lying down on her pillows. He had been humming softly to himself while she was reading her book. The book was one of the Vampire Academy books, but he wasn’t sure which. “Casey told me that you were saying I love you when I had knocked myself unconscious,” she said. Silently, he cursed himself. He was desperately hoping she had taken it as the usual I love you instead of what he had actually meant, which was I’m in love with you. “Oh, well, I do love you sis,” he said. She smiled and returned to her book, but with a look in her eyes that he didn’t know whether or not he liked: a look she only gets when she knows something he doesn’t want her to know. “What?” he asked. “Nothing bro,” she said. Biting his lip for a moment, he finally decided to say, “The sight of you passed out on the floor nearly gave me a heart-attack, especially when you didn’t wake up for a while. I was afraid you might’ve been more seriously injured.” She set her book down, and crawled across the bed to where he sat propped up on the back-board. He opened his arms, and she nestled into him comfortably. “Well I’m fine,” she said. He smiled and said, “Yes you are.” After that, he let her go and she returned, once again, to her book. Normally, he would’ve gone home long before now, but his parents were out of town that weekend so he was staying with her. A few minutes later, he glanced up as he heard the book start to drift slowly down the colorful bedspread. Smiling to himself, he got up and gingerly took the book out of her hands. With a start, she grabbed at the book, but released it again when she realized what was happening. “I love you, goodnight sis. Sweet dreams,” he said as he set the book down on her bedside table. “I love…” she mumbled as she drifted into oblivion. Smiling at her, he first put the covers over her, and then shut off the light. He crawled under the covers next to her as had been discussed, and softly kissed her forehead as he fell asleep himself.
He woke up as he felt her leave the bed, but figured she was just going to the bathroom, and so he ignored it. After a few minutes of her not leaving the bathroom, however, he got the impression that something was wrong. Feeling paranoid, he just ignored the urge to go check on her, until he heard a noise: she was crying. He bolted out of bed and was across the room in no time. He knocked softly on the door. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?” he said in a tone reserved for moments when extreme compassion were needed. He heard her jump, and then the sound of drawers sliding shut, then, softly, “Nothing. I just slipped.” Knowing this was a lie, he opened the bathroom door. Something was wrong alright: she was on the floor bleeding and a knife lay beside her. Numb with shock, he very slowly walked over to where she lay curled in a ball, holding her arm from which blood was slowly dribbling. He picked up the knife and put it in the sink; then he turned to face her. She stared not at him, but at the floor in front of him. He crouched beside her and lifted her head so that her gorgeous eyes were on plane with his. “Wh…Why?” he asked, voice breaking on even that one syllable. She said nothing but started crying even harder at the pain in his voice. “I’ll be right back,” he said as he walked out of the bathroom, being sure to take the knife with him. He placed the knife in the kitchen sink and got gauze pads and tape for her arm. Returning to the bathroom, he bandaged her arm and cleaned up the blood. After disposing of the trash, he picked her up and carried her back to bed. He could sense that this wasn’t the time to talk about it, so he just wrapped his arms around her tightly and let her cry into his chest. Eventually, her sobs quieted and turned into shuddering gasps that might’ve been her trying to control herself. He kissed the top of her head and whispered softly, “Go to sleep sweetie. I’m not going to sleep anymore tonight, so if you need to talk I’ll be awake.” “Oh, and don’t even think about getting out of bed anymore tonight. I love you.” She eventually succumbed to sleep, leaving him to his own thoughts. “Why did she do it? How could I not have seen this coming?”
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This article has 4 comments.
First things first, constructive critism. While i like the whole idea, the plot, the characters relationship, the way the story is written, i have a problem with. It isnt descriptive enough, the part where she fell. It was like "Oh she fell" and thats it. You should be more desciptive, so the reader can imagine the fall, what everything was like, how the place looked, how the people around them reacted. You need to work on creating an atmosphere in your story.
Now compliments. I love the protaganist, how you portay his emotions, how you tell the reader what he is thiking. You help to create a positive relationship with the main character and the reader. Through out the stories i sympathized with him, i didnt like Casey because he didnt, i anticipate when he next sees his secret love, and that is good. That is what you want in a story. :) Props to you, bud. Now i shall resume being your wierd aquaintance and not your English teacher ;)