The only person who calls me by my full name is my best friend’s girlfriend, who is also the one I’m in love with. I liked her way before he did but I’ll never tell him that. Her and I have been friends for longer too. No one knows they’re dating. They don’t even know I know. But I do. I figured it out easily. Every time I see them together I can’t help but wish it was me making her laugh. Making her smile. Holding hands under the table when our friends go out to eat. But he’s my best friend, closer to me than either one of my two older brothers. I’ve never seen him this enthralled over a girl. I want to tell him that I get it. I understand how you feel. I love her just as much as you do. Maybe even more. I know what it’s like to feel like you’re swimming in endorphins and the only person who can save you is the same one who’s drowning you. I know what it’s like to go to sleep and wake up thinking of only one thing, only one person. Her. Instead I tell him, “bro just ask her out already.” He claims that he’s too shy but what he doesn’t know is that I’ve snuck glances at their contact names for each other and the little Sharpie heart drawn on the calendar in her room under the 19th. She’s the only person who calls me by my full name. If this goes on much longer, I might have to shorten it permanently.