Sometimes you have to cut ceilings to reach for the stars. Everything in Jacob Moon’s life revolved around the stars, the sun, the moon, the universe. He was but a mere speck in this expansive mystery he yearned to solve. When Jacob was just 6 years old, he received his first telescope: an odd gift for someone who barely understood science. But if there was one thing he knew about science, it was that he was constantly surrounded by stars, whether he could see them glisten in the sky or not. Unfortunately, as a 6 year old, Jacob did not experience the pitch black of the night sky very often. The promise of being able to stay up one night to use his new telescope was the most groundbreaking event of his life. Even now as a 15 year old, nothing could surpass the moment that he got to experience the stars for the first time.

Walls covered in solar system posters and bed sheets covered in stars, his room truly was a reflection of his mind. One restless night, he tossed and turned. Jacob’s mind would not stop racing, all-consumed by the stars. He had an idea that could outshine his nighttime experience from nine years ago -- he could reach the stars. 

Jacob tiptoed down the stairs, carefully avoiding the spots where the stairs would creak. He stepped into his garage, cool air tingling around him, and pulled out a chainsaw from his father’s tools. He wasn’t allowed in there, but he had to break rules to reach the stars. Maybe in a daze, he went back up to his room to cut open the ceiling. Anything for the stars.

Impulsively, he raised the chainsaw to the ceiling and moved his arm back and forth, his own mind in disbelief. In this moment, Jacob was truly isolated. Only him and his desire to reach the stars. Pieces of wood fell from the ceiling onto the starry sheets of his bed below. But, Jacob didn't care. Each piece that fell from the ceiling revealed a step closer to the only thing that occupied his thoughts. Back to the garage he went, searching for a ladder that he could quietly bring to his room. His plan was coming together.

He leaned the ladder against a crevice in the hole. Jacob slowly, but carefully, climbed up clutching his telescope as if it were a newborn child. The telescope came first. Always. The same telescope he had since his 6th birthday. The telescope that was always there for him. Now, the telescope that aided him in one of his most daring tasks. He reached up and gently placed it on the roof. He followed shortly after. His plan was executed, his goal was reached. 

Between 100 and 400 billion stars in the Milky Way Galaxy. No way to count them all.

The chill of the night around him, the feeling of his fingers around his telescope, the contrast of the sky’s darkness with the light of the stars. Jacob was transported back to his 6 year old self, experiencing the sight of the night sky for the first time.

My parents are going to be furious. One, two, three, four. Hundreds of billions left. 

Jacob tried to absorb the magnitude of the world around him. He wanted to see every star he possibly could.

The universe is constantly expanding. Every hour. Every minute. Every second. Constantly.

Thoughts brewed in his head. Jacob realized his actions were irreversible, his parents would inevitably find out.

Five, six, seven, eight. What am I going to do when they find out tomorrow morning?

He blocked out these questions and took deep breaths as he counted the stars. Nothing could take away this moment.

I should enjoy the stars for right now. Nine, ten, eleven, twelve.

Slowly opening their eyes as they heard Jacob’s clattering, the Moon parents had no idea of the sight they were about to experience. Bill’s stomps out of the room awoke Nancy Moon. She slowly placed her legs on the floor and got up with a stretch and a yawn to catch up to her husband. She turned the corner to witness her husband staring at the ceiling with his mouth gaped open. They looked up in collective disbelief at the hole in their ceiling, with a ladder carefully placed in it. These parents were never surprised. Until now. 

Jacob heard a distant call coming from below. It must be nothing. He ignored it. How could there be a noise when it was just him and the stars? 

Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen. I’m never going to see them all.

A louder noise. Jacob’s dad appeared in his periphery. Yet, Jacob felt a sense of stillness inside. He thought no one would understand his beliefs or motives. At least he felt connected to the one thing that brought him joy.

They are never going to let me see the stars again. Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty.

Questions and remarks whirled around Jacob as he stepped down the ladder, absorbing nothing going on around him. He lost the crisp air of the night sky, and the gleam of each star, and the sensation of the telescope on his fingers with each step. He feared that his parents would take this feeling away forever.

I lost count. How many stars did I see? How many are left?

Jacob chatted with his parents, who were astonished by his blinded actions. His entire thought process was consumed.

“You just don't get it. Nobody does,” Jacob locked himself in his bedroom. 

A wave of pity washed over the Moon parents. All they ever wanted was for Jacob to feel heard and understood. They wanted him to live out the end of his life in peace, rather than anger. After Jacob’s diagnosis a year ago, his life had forever changed. Nothing felt normal anymore. They realized that if his life was going to be different, at least he could be with the stars.

A knock on Jacob’s door alerted him of his parents’ presence. Reluctantly, he opened the door with tears welling in his eyes. The Moon parents wrapped Jacob in a warm embrace. All three of them climbed back up the ladder, feeling the same as they had on that special night nine years prior. Jacob restarted his counting of the stars, this time with the help of his parents.

Jacob was unable to count all the stars in the night sky. But, that no longer mattered to him. After all, that was the cause of his fascination: the beauty and infinitude of the universe. Jacob spent the last few weeks of his life surrounded by what he loved most: his parents, the stars, the sun, the moon, the universe.