CHAPTER 1

The old school bell rings, signaling the start of school and anyone caught outside of class gets sent to the office. Rudy sits back in his chair, stomach growling because he didn’t eat breakfast. Which only adds to the nervousness he is feeling due to all the warnings from students the period prior.

Mr. E gets up from his old brown desk in the corner. “Good morning everyone. You may have heard that today we’ll be starting a project that's worth 40% of your grade and it's true…” 

Rudy sinks even further into his seat. Please don’t make us present it.

“You’ll also be expected to present it” adds Mr. E, right on cue. 

Sometimes I think the world is against me.
“Remember to go on Canvas for the rubric and more details.” And with that Mr. E sat back down in his squeaky office chair. 

For the rest of class, Rudy sat there staring at the blank slides unconcerned; and lost in his own thoughts coming up with extremely unlikely scenarios for the presentation.

45 minutes later, the bell rings and Rudy rushes out of the classroom. I probably should have started on the presentation now I have even more work to do. 

When Rudy reaches the stairwell he greets his friend Miguel. 

“Why didn’t you tell me we were gonna present?”

“My bad man I forgot.”

“I didn’t even start it, bro I’m dead.”

 Miguel jumps the last three steps, “Man don’t worry about it. It’s not due ‘till next month.

“I know but that’s the problem. I don’t want to turn it in because after that I’m presenting it.”

“Why are you so scared of talkin’ in front of the class? Like what happened man?”

Rudy pauses. “I don’t like to talk about it.”

CHAPTER 2

5 Years ago

The stage is set. This play is the only thing anyone in school has been talking about. It's been rehearsed almost daily and 9 year old Rudy has one of the bigger roles. Almost every seat is filled with a proud family member waiting to see their relative up on stage.

With the music playing Rudy knows it's his cue to go on stage. He heads up the stairs too nervous or excited he can't tell the difference. One more step left. And boom he's on stage. Remembering the weeks of rehearsals Rudy starts his lines. At the same time he's doing the little dance he practiced over and over.

Alright one step in front of the other just like I practi-. Rudy trips on his shoelace and in his mind falls in slow motion. BHAM!!! Rudy falls right on his face and the entire crowd which was once buzzing is now dead silent.

***

Everything after that has always been hard to remember. Maybe it was so traumatic that Rudy’s brain has refused to allow him access to that memory. One thing that's certain is that no one ever forgot that happened. Up until the end of 5th grade, Rudy was constantly reminded of that incident and how humiliating it was. 

Now everytime Rudy has to present or speak in front of a group he finds a way out. Whether it be setting up a dentist appointment or pretending to be sick, he has put more effort into not presenting than actually trying to get over his fear. 

In retrospect, that’s quite silly, but Rudy’s an 8th grader, so he hasn’t reached that level of maturity yet.

CHAPTER 3

3:30. That’s the time Rudy started on his project. Now it's 10:30 and he's only half way done. He probably would have finished 2 hours ago, but all the scenarios on how he would embarrass himself held him back.

Everytime he would start on the next slide he remembered how it felt when he embarrassed himself; he imagined how it would be to do that all over again.

After a long time of just sitting in his dark room with the only thing illuminating it being his blank presentation. Rudy would decide to take a break.

During this time Rudy found himself asking one question… 

What am I afraid of? Is it the thought of humiliation? Or am I afraid of what happened in 4th grade? Why is there a reason to be afraid of what happened 5 years ago? 

It was here that Rudy realized what was holding him back. He hadn’t moved on from what happened. Instead of moving on, and accepting that he couldn’t change what happened Rudy kept living it over and over.

Deciding to try again the next morning, Rudy got into his bed and promised himself he would change. He promised himself that he would present and not let the past rule over him.

The next morning, Rudy got out of bed and rushed through his morning routine. He brushed his teeth in the shower and ate breakfast as he opened up his Chromebook. He opened up his presentation and got to work. This time though it didn’t take as long. Instead of being stuck in the past he focused on his project.

CHAPTER 4

Presentation Day.

With the presentation done, Rudy spent the rest of his weekend researching some tips on how to present. He learned 3 things. He could use hand gestures to add some emphasis to what he’s saying, he needed to look at the crowd but he could also look at the very back, and that he had to project his voice so everyone could hear him.

As Rudy sat there in class watching everyone else present he started getting nervous. He could feel his stomach doing backflips every time somebody else finished presenting and the next person went up. 

Right until he was next, Rudy was like a volcano, building up with nerves about to explode at any moment. And then it was his turn. Rudy got up and walked to the front of the class. His mind raced with thoughts. 

I can’t do this. 

I’m going to embarrass myself again.

Maybe I can ask to go to the nurse.

Stop.

Take a deep breath. 

Relax.

You can do this, it's not that bad.

“Hello, my name is Rodolfo and my presentation is on…”