I knew it wouldn't last forever. And, I knew that from the beginning. Yet I continued to see him. He was everything I wanted. He was sweet, passionate, smart, funny-and, still, incredibly cute. The fact that I was with him was so unrealistic even I didn't believe it at first. But as time went on I started to doubt it.
The time came when we both decided it was time to leave each other. Neither of us wanted to, but we knew it was for the best. It was so hard to come to my senses and realize that we weren't meant to be. I wanted it to work out so badly I would have done anything.But there was no way we would be able to work.
So we agreed to take a walk in the park together. Our conversation was short and awkward-but it helped ease my pain at least a little.
As we strolled by the fountain, we noticed a couple tossing coins.
"What do you think they're wishing for?" I asked him, my voice a little quaky.
He looked at me with his big hazel eyes and took my hands. "What we're both wishing for."
At first I didn't know what he meant, so I quickly looked away. Then, slowly turning to face him, I said, "What's that?" Of course I knew what it was, but I wanted to hear him say it. My eyes were welling up with tears at the thought of what was about to escape his lips. I didn't want to hear him say it.
"Em, I want to be together forever. And according to our conversation last night, you do too. We both know that we can keep trying. We just don't want to admit it. I love you, and I need you."
"I know you love me. I love you too. But we'll never learn to move on if we never try. And we'll never try to forget if we keep trying to be together. We've both made mistakes. We shouldn't be together, and I wish we could be. But we can't." With that I turned away from him and wrapped my hands around my sides.
"Em." he said, sighing.
"I'm sorry." I held myself tighter, trying to hold it all in. "I am." I started walking toward the exit as tears streamed down my face. They dripped onto my hands, my jacket and the ground in front of me. Every good time I had ever had with Spencer replayed in my mind. They were some of the best.
As I closed the gate behind me, I smiled, knowing that I had used the strength I had always had inside of me to finally end it. I turned and walked away. It was actually over; for good.