The connection between my mom and I grew weaker and weaker everyday. She never believed anything I said and she thought I was lazy and over- dramatic. Not because of any broad reason, but because I would occasionally complain that my stomach was in pain and due to that, I felt like I couldn’t walk around, or just do anything at all. When I tried explaining the pain to my mom, it was her constantly telling me that I was just saying that to get out of things and that I just needed to drink some tea if I was in any real pain. I was drinking tea’s everyday and nothing was helping. My mom would occasionally take me to our pediatrician and she would just feel around my stomach and ask me where I felt pain. The problem with my pediatrician was that she was also Hispanic. Now her ethnicity wasn’t a problem, but she has the same culture as me, the same culture as my mother. After my appointments she would say, “There are some medicines I can prescribe, but if you try chamomile tea, that should be able to calm it down as well. What do you think?” said Dr. B.

“We’ve been trying the teas but we’ll keep trying, no need for medication.” said my mom.

“Okay perfect, I recommend chamomile and peppermint tea,” said Dr. B.

I always felt like I wasn’t being listened to, not from my mom, and not even from my doctor. The response my doctor gave made me feel hot, I felt as if I was visibly red because I felt so embarrassed. I knew that once my mom and I got to the car we’d have a talk, and so we did.

“There was no reason for us to go to the doctor,” my mom said “She told you the exact same thing that I’ve been telling you! Now you’ll start listening to me when I tell you something!”

Just like I said, I felt so embarrassed, and I know my mom did too but for two different reasons. I was embarrassed for even asking my mom to take me to the doctor, not knowing that that would be her response. I felt hot and sick to my stomach and I apologized for making her take me. I know my mom felt embarrassed because the doctor told her we could use tea. She felt like she looked dumb infront of the doctor because the doctor basically told her it wasn’t a big deal since it’s just stomach pain. But the doctor also didn’t know the exact problem either. I went months and months with this pain, as if it was something that never went away, yet kept getting worse. I stopped complaining and started making my own tea. I felt as if there was no point in telling my mom I was in pain if the doctor was going to say the same thing as my mother, and then it would be an everlasting cycle. I’d occasionally feel terrible cramps on days that weren’t close to my cycle and I’d just stay in bed for as long as possible until I had to get ready for work or until my mom would want me to get up and clean. Until one day, I felt like the pain was too overwhelming and I ended up getting really sick.

The day my mom started believing me was when I awoke throwing up and in pain. She took me to the ER in Chicago so they could help me there. After the doctor visits she knew that they would tell me the same thing they told me last time, she said she knew there was something wrong with me now. I had been feeling terrible a few days prior, had thrown up the night before, and had gotten a fever all due to stomach pain. 

“I need you to help my daughter, she’s been throwing up since last night.” my mom said.

The doctor and my mom conversed back and forth. As I heard this talk coming from a hospital bed, I felt relieved. The weight came off of my shoulders and I felt like a feather, so light and without grief or worry. Just because my mom had done all of this for me and went out of her way to talk for me to the doctors, I felt like I meant the world to her. She’s an arguer; she makes sure she gets what she wants, so when she had that same type of mentality when talking about me, I knew I could start trusting her. When I had a lot of pain I tended to stop talking to her because I knew she’d say the same thing.

Tea from home is the only thing that’ll help you, home remedies. I thought back to myself everytime I felt like I needed to speak up.

After the doctor and my mom came back into the room, I felt the tension. The doctor proceeded to tell me that there was nothing they could do, because after examining me they noticed that this was something I had been struggling with for years. I had intensive Irritable Bowel Syndrome, meaning almost everything I ate was going to hurt me one way or another. They referred me to another doctor that works within their vicinity. A gastroenterologist. My mom and I had to wait about a month to get to our appointment, but the day finally came. 

After the appointment, we found there was something wrong with me that’s not treatable, but I can take certain medications to calm it down. Now, I noticed that my mom did start treating me differently after this. It wasn’t in a bad way either. Whenever I was in pain, even after taking my medication, she would give me a massage on my stomach, make me food, or occasionally make tea. She stopped resorting to home remedies being her first choice, yet her last. After that our relationship definitely grew. I started  seeing  my mom in a different way; not only as a  mother,  but as someone I’d be able to trust. A lot of people already have this type of relationship with their parents, but being in a Mexican household, it’s  harder to make that type of relationship with them. 

I  started telling  my mom about my life outside of  home. It was always hard for me to think that just because she changed her mind about how she felt about home remedies and doctors, that that’s what sparked a good mother daughter relationship. The joy that came from me talking to my mom felt like the feeling when you wake up just in time to see the sunrise. All of the beautiful colors come to life. That is how I can express the relationship I now have with my mother. I tell her things that I never thought I'd be able to talk to her about, and I'm able to express my pain to her. We’re able to have a healthy relationship where we can talk to each other. And even though we found this out in bad circumstances, we gained something beautiful from it, from each other.