Every night she would take the train home. She had a baby across who couldn’t yet walk. She wiped the plates of pigs for a living. Not literal pigs, but men with the souls of pigs, quite impolite ones as a matter of fact. Nonetheless, she served them, all for simple sheckles. Her coworkers were horses and (annoying animal). Among her walked humans with all different kinds of souls. All these wild spirits, with such expressive hairstyles and clothing. Perhaps it was a facade by some, but truly, the mother was not sure what spirit she was. She suspected she was a zebra, she felt it was unfortunate about that. Her stripes outed her, differentiated her, separated her, isolated her. She was alone, always alone, except for an imaginary cat spirit…  

Every night she would take the train home. She would be alone on that train, besides the car spirit. One night, on a Sunday, the train hosted a different night. She was accompanied by a fox on that train. She sat quietly while the fox spirit sat confidently and surely. The cat spirit was giving unfriendly reactions to this fox. The mother was alone, and wanting company, desperate for company.

“Rough night?”, the fox-spirited man asked her in the language of their accurately assumed common tongue. He spoke with persuasion, not smooth nor trustworthy, purely manipulative persuasion. The cat spirit hissed and the fox man noticed nothing because the cat was imaginary. The mother ignored the cat, she was desperate.

“Yeah…”, she said, with a welcoming chuckle.

The fox assumed her had made his way in.

“What’s your name?”, he asked.

“I am called Noelia, how are you called?”, she asked.

“I’m called Judas.”, the fox said.

The fox was named Judas, but the man had no true name, he had lost it long ago. The man was less man and more fox. Inside, he was nothing more than a Judas of Fox-spirit.

“Nice to meet you Judas.”, she said.

“Thank you Senhora, you as well.”, Judas said.

“Do these rough nights come often?”, he continued.

“Yes, sincerely…”, she answered. Her desperation was so loud and potent that it could be felt for miles. She was with loneliness and helplessness.

“Would you let me help?”, Judas asked, boldly.

“What?”, she asked, shocked.

“You heard me, Senhora. Answer my question.”, he demanded.

His assertiveness attracted her, wrongly.

“Yes…”, she said, knowing deep down something very wrong would occur next. She wanted to cry. She hoped to her Dio that he would save her, she lied to convince herself, but she was aware that he would take her away in all forms of the concept.

That night she went home. She paid and dismissed Maria, the babysitter with an angel bird spirit. She looked at the star he had given her. She stared at it, willing to burn her eyes, just to harvest her home. She looked back at her baby, with sorrow and guilt. At her lowest point of the guilt she took the star out of her purse. While staring at her baby, she consumed the star. She held the star near her face, shedding a few tears, and inhaled it's fire. She was gone.

That night, she was taken away, far gone, wasted. She lied in the warm hug of the star. She felt safe and relaxed. Her baby cried for help. The mother heard no cries.

Noelia continued to go to work that week. She continued to serve the pigs and whip their mud of the plates. Noelia dreamt of the star, waiting, patiently at first. She took the train home every day, there was no Judas fox every day that week. She would return home, pay the babysitter bird, and consume more of the star. Some nights the star would hug her so tightly and warmly that it would leave marks on her skin, although she never felt pain. As she would awaken in the darkness without her star, she noticed it's marks. She, again, knew it was from the star, but convinced herself it was nothing but the scratching of the spiteful cat who often made efforts to hinder her consumption of the star.

The second week after her discovery of the healing star she began to twitch without it's shine. She would become distracted by her craving. The babysitter began to notice her urgency to be alone in her apartment. The star would burn her and she longed for it's love. Her baby would continue to cry. Her imaginary cat would continue to hiss and warn. Noelia would continue to consume her star.

Once the third week had begun, she realized her star was gone. She cried, sobbing herself to sleep, for the three days until she saw the Judas fox again. She begged him for another star, offering everything she had without hesitation. Life without her star had become even worse than before. She felt she was without any pleasure. Judas sold her another star, taking so much from her, but also supplying her warmth. He took so much of what she had, and also took her away, because she begged him. She consumed the star every night for the first two weeks, but now she began consuming the star at work. Before, her job was simple. Her job was miserable and monotonous, but simple. While she was warmed, her job became a struggle. Her enslaver began to notice. Her bird-spirited babysitter began to notice.

During the fourth week, she lost her job. That day she came home with rage and a strong accusatory attitude. She snapped at Maria angel bird who watched her baby. She recognized nothing of her former love. She had nothing for Maria, nor her baby, no love, no recognition. How could Noelia be a mother? The star had stolen even her soul. She was no Zebra any longer. She didn’t Senhora her Zebra soul. She only missed the warmth.

“Get out.”, Noelia said to Maria, rudely.

“Why home so early?”, Maria asked, personally concerned.

Noelia handed Maria her money.

“Get out.”, she said again.

“Did something happen Senhora Noelia?”, Maria asked with care.

“Leave, girl.”, Noelia said, as if they were two strangers.

“You’re not well…”, Maria said, trying to help.

“Estou tudo bem!”, Noelia snapped, barely intelligibly.

“You’re not well! Look at your baby!”, Maria repeated, pointing at the baby, nearly crying as Noelia backed her toward the door.

Noelia did not care to look back her baby. She had one goal, to be alone with her shine.

“Senhora Noelia, please!”, Maria begged one last time.

Noelia slammed the door close, separating Maria from her.

Noelia turned around and dropped to her knees, rummaging through purse, hyperventilating searching for her star. After a moment, she noticed a rattle on the floor next to her purse. Initially, she was confused as to what it's purpose was. She had no idea what it was. Her baby’s cries grew louder and she looked up at the baby. She remembered, her beautiful Jesus hungry and neglected. She woke up. She kicked her purse away and covered her ears. The bad news was that the guilt flooded her soul but the good news was she felt her soul again. She was naked and free, no longer drowning in warmth. She began taking care of her baby Jesus. Eventually his cries stopped. She was so cold but he warmed her just enough to survive. She survived that night. Noelia contacted Maria and gave her an apology. Together, they made a plan.

“I don’t know what you’re feeling from this, but I know who you are, and I’d love to help get you back.”, Maria presented.

Noelia felt her soul but was still desperate and lost.

“How do you know who I am? I’m not even sure anymore…”, she admitted.

“I’ve seen you Senhora Noelia. You are strong, like a tigresa.”, Maria assured.

“Você pensa?”, Noelia asked, beginning to cry.

“Yes, surely”, Maria insisted.

After this talk, Noelia visited a special sort of place for care. She got help. She lived with people who taught her different ways to be warm for some time. Maria took care of Jesus full time while Noelia was away.

After a few more weeks Noelia was ready to come home. She returned to her beloved Jesus. Together, Noelia and Jesus went to the zoo. Noelia visited the tiger habitat. She felt pride and soul and identity. She felt amazing warmth, produced by herself and supplied solely to herself and Jesus. Noelia desired her star, but resisted. She took a different train as she looked in her wallet at her photo of her baby every day on her way home from her new job. She never saw the fox again. Noelia’s cat had returned, more affectionate than ever. Noelia felt both warm shine and dark cold, but she had her baby Jesus, her friend Maria, and her imaginary cat. Noelia never consumed another star.