From nothing, to something, to everything.

That’s how it went, or more so, that’s how it’s going.

From the moment you met them, you knew something was special. Something so special that only you could see it, maybe others did, but they didn’t see it like you did. They had something you saw, that was nothing like anyone else.

Of course though, you thought nothing of it, really you just thought it was something small, something that wasn’t going to change everything. Or at least that’s what I thought.

We started off as these strangers who knew nothing about each other, except for the little things that would be shared during study group, like that they’re on track and they have good grades, or that they were this incredibly nice person. I remember I shared to my group that I was allergic to pineapple, so no one would let me get anymore, but I couldn’t resist that tangy sweet flavor from the yellow fruit that I loved so much. I pleaded one of them to, “please, give me at least one piece,” only to have them laugh and tell my I would die if I ate anymore. But of course, then there was him, the only one who offered to get me more, which I denied saying I didn’t need it only so I wouldn’t sound anymore desperate that I already was.

The continuous kindness that he had was always showing. When he would do small things like offer to get me pineapple, holding the door open for the group before we walked into Subway after our practice exam, to now, walking me to class and helping me with my problems that I can’t seem to keep in.

Barely acquaintances back then, we were friendly when we’d see each other, saying the casual, “Hi,” and sometimes even a high five or fist bump,  sometimes nothing more.

Over summer break we had shared our thoughts on the real exam, how we thought we did versus how we did in reality. We shared a few things, like what our schedules were and what sports we looked forward to the upcoming season and nothing more. It was always “nothing more”, we’d share the bare minimum, have a boring conversation as most “friends” who didn’t quite know each other all too well did.

During this time I couldn’t stop myself from the small feelings that arose when I had barely met this stranger. I didn’t know what to do, feeling like I was being delusional because I hadn’t known enough about them, or because we weren’t even friends, I filled my brain with thoughts like, “he doesn’t even know your name” and “you’re not even friends.” All of which were probably true. The time continued to pass as I spiralled down into a hole of confusion and wonder, until it hit me, that is school of course.

The school year had begun, I talked to one of my closest friends, someone who was like a brother to me, telling him about everything that went through my mind over the summer. He helped me sort my thoughts, he let me vent to him about the feelings that confused me all too much, he helped me on this “adventure” to get to where I am. He was the one that started this heck of a ride for me. August 17 (no of course I didn’t remember that, I had to look back on old conversations), the day things “started” but really didn’t.

“Is it true?” I remember my heart rate increasing as I sat on my couch after a long game, trying to work up the courage to say, “Yes.” A simple “yes” made me scared, scared of what he would think, and scared of what would happen. Would the friendship we’d just begun end? Or would things move forward and him think nothing of it? Of course none of those happened, but what can I say, that was months ago.

“Yes it’s true.” I said it, but immediately after I threw my phone across the couch to avoid reality of what he would say. I heard my phone vibrate against the soft cushions of the couch, so I anxiously picked up my phone and was relieved. He was understanding and made me feel like things were actually going to be okay. He asked why I liked him, with the comforting atmosphere I just wrote what I was feeling.

“It’s good you’re happy.” Of course, that stuck with me for a while, throughout everything that was happening then, to now it’s still there, helping me make decisions that seem all too tough to actually choose the right one, but it’s never let me down, which means that he’s never let me down.

We continued from there, starting to get to know each other more and more, we were becoming better friends and it was great. We were starting to be more open with each other sharing deeper things about each other and how we felt about things.

This all lead up to one of the most important time frames of this story, Homecoming. Okay, so to most people Homecoming isn’t really a big deal besides it being a dance, but to me it was special. This was my first real dance experience so I wasn’t going to waste this opportunity. I was going to make it the best I could.

“Should I ask him?” I asked each other my friends this question because they all knew that I liked him, so they always told me that I should, regardless that Homecoming was typically “boys ask girls”. I started making my little plans, if I should use a poster or not, whether or not I should get him something or if I should ask at all. Of course, I ended up asking him. You should know, he’s a football player, and I’m a cheerleader, basically a stereotypical high school couple, so I asked him according to our sports.

I remember working on the poster only to mess up and have no idea what to do. I tried painting over my mistakes, but that didn’t work so I tried covering the mistakes with paper, but that didn’t work either. I asked my mom to buy me posters for a class project, when in reality I needed it for this homecoming project. I carefully drew out my plan, with a drawing of a football and cheer and football terminology.

“I would cheer so loud, if we could tackle Homecoming together”

It was something small, but I was proud of it.

The day came, September 23, when I would ask him to go to Homecoming with me, I was filled with anxiety and the thought of being rejected, due to past experiences. All of my friends sitting at the table kept telling me, “Just do it!” They were all encouraging me to do this, so when he came back from his locker and he had his back turned to me I picked the poster up, tapped his shoulder and unrolled the scroll like paper to reveal the message. I was shaking so much that I almost couldn’t open the poster correctly. When he finally finished reading the short “proposal” of us going together a smile spread across his face. He nodded, saying, “Yes,” giving me a hug and making me so incredibly happy.

He took the poster home and his family saw it, they were happy for him, or so he said. I like to believe they were surprised that a girl asked him, rather than him asking someone, but I never tell him that.

That was the day that things started changing from us being friends to “just friends” when people would ask about us. We started hugging more often and walking to some classes together, but not all the time, just often. 
    Throughout this time I was very taken back by everything. I didn’t think this would actually happen, I didn’t actually think someone would say “yes” to me, and that someone being him.

The next few weeks we were deciding if we would match outfits or not, which we ended up doing. We were talking about the upcoming dance and how excited we were, me being nervous because I had never slow danced in my life.

The day of the dance, October 20, finally came, it was long awaited and anticipated. I spent the morning getting ready, doing my makeup, hair and getting my outfit together, making sure I looked good for the night.

We all gathered at one house to take pictures with the orchards behind us, with the pretty background and all of us looking our best we were ready. What seemed like 100 pictures were taken, when we were done posing for the camera we all walked back down to the house to enjoy dinner and a drink. We continued talking about how excited we were and what we most looked forward to. Me being me, said that I looked forward to eating, but that never happened because I ended up having way too much fun.

We arrived at the school with time to spare, so we stood in line waiting to get verified and let in. We were greeted by balloons and streamers that yelled “Great Gatsby!” We took pictures and waited for the dance floor to fill up before we would start dancing.

There were some very hyped up songs and there were also some slow songs. We were in line for the photobooth because that was something we’d both wanted to do before that night disappeared, but we heard a slow song and I remember him saying, “Let’s do that first.”

I think I sighed out of nervousness, but I followed his lead. It was nice, of course it was a little awkward, but that’s because I had no idea what I was doing. It felt like it lasted an hour, just that one song.

After the song ended we returned to the photobooth with our other friends and took pictures while we waited. When it was finally our turn we walked into the booth and took some funny pictures and some cute pictures. They’re some of my favorite pictures from that night because it shows our real personalities and how we were towards each other.

We continued to dance the night away with all of our friends, that is until another slow song came on. Ed Sheeran. My all time favorite artist. Perfect was the name of the song that came on, which ironically was one of my favorite songs at the time. This time the dance was a lot more comfortable and we were having a better time that the first. There were times throughout the song when I would just look up at him and smile, because I couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. Then that moment, that moment that sounds like it’s from a cliche teen romance movie happened, we kissed.

It was something that I didn’t think would happen, even though I expected it to happen.

Short. Soft. Sweet. All words used to describe what that moment was like, the moment I’ll never get back, my first kiss.

Of course I was taken by surprise, but I couldn’t stop smiling. I remember looking up at him with a smile spread across my face, from ear to ear, which soon changed into a face full of confusion.

That did though make me question what we were. Weren’t we “just friends” and nothing more?

“What does this mean?” I asked and he just smiled. “So, do you like me?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” He seemed to chuckle a little as he said this, making me laugh and smile even more than I already was.

Wait, what?

What did he just say? He liked me?

Wow, that never seems to happen in reality.

From there things changed significantly. We were in the “talking stage.” I didn’t know what that really meant though, like we were more than friends but less than girlfriend and boyfriend. We were what you’d call “exclusive” to each other. Of course I was confused and always asked about it, like what this meant for us. It also made me question what we could and couldn’t do, but I never asked those questions. The “talking stage” seemed to take place of getting to know one another, to me it was just a step closer to a relationship. We were figuring out what we wanted, who we were, what made us like one another and if we truly wanted this. From time to time I would think to myself, “Did this all come from an ‘in the moment’ type of situation? Did he really mean it?” Of course all of those got answered. We learned that timing was not in our favor, it really was ‘in the moment’, we both wished it would’ve come later, but what can we say now? This is what God has in store for us.

This new stage that made no sense to me, began to make more and more sense as time passed. We began holding hands, hugging more than we did, he’d walk me to my classes and we’d sit by each other. Really, we were happy with how things were going.

We had to overcome something that really affected us. In the first few days that we were “talking” we experienced what I call a friendship crisis. Our friends had started doing these things, we were getting hurt to the point where we were thinking about stopping everything it it’s tracks. It was hard. I couldn’t believe something like this was happening. We were first so happy with everything, but once we started to be happy, our friends had gotten more and more distant, disapproving and making us upset. We considered giving up our own happiness for theirs, but luckily we didn’t. This was our wakeup call, we figured things out and decided to be happy for ourselves, to make ourselves happy. It was our blessing in disguise.

We moved from talking, to making it official on December 6.

Everyday after school, we’d walk to my locker either to just hangout or so I could actually put something away. The reason I enjoy the time near my locker is because we’re alone and it give us privacy from everyone else in the crowded halls.

“So I can call you mine,” he seemed to whisper that day. Shocked. Surprised. “Shook.” I couldn’t believe it. He’d asked me out, I didn’t think it would happen so soon, but here we are. I couldn’t help but be amazed and surprised that this was actually happening so I’d ask, “Really?” or, “Are you sure?” I couldn’t stop smiling and laughing, it reminded me of how happy I was at homecoming.

“Yes,” He said, only for me to ditto his response, “Yes.” Smiling up at the boy I like so much, whom I tell that I hate him, playfully punching all the time, and teasing, I just kept smiling.

It just happened. Again. “Short. Soft. Sweet.” The same words are used again to describe this moment.

“Mark your calendar, the 6th of December,” he’d say, making me smile and laugh even more than I already did.

Now, we’re to today. I can’t tell him these things in person, like my little thoughts and how I feel about certain things, but here I can express myself without being scared, without feeling awkward for writing something. Today is everything, yesterday is everything, tomorrow will be everything. Any day that I’m with him is everything. I’m filled with joy and I feel like I can’t stop smiling. I laugh at everything around him. I want to hug him, I want to hold his hand, I want us to be us, the dork and the weirdo.

The small things, we always hear about the small things. What they say is true, “It’s the small things that matter.” Small things that seem to range from the way he wraps his arm around me when we sit together at lunch, how he kisses my head when we hug before classes, the look he gives me when I do something dumb to make him laugh, to our dorky moments when we laugh at an ice cream eraser falling and pronouncing words wrong.

Of course because this is all so new, there are still some things that scare me, like losing what we have, losing him, and breaking things off. There are also positive things I’m scared of too, from meeting his parents, him meeting mine, kisses, and finding ways to spend time together. Things are supposed to be hard sometimes, or so that’s what I’ve been told, but I’m sure we can get through the tough time they talk about.

“Trust and honestly.” That’s what he always says we need to have, that as long as we have those we’ll be good. Trust, it’s something that naturally comes attached to someone, especially when you grow closer and closer to them. My trust has grown and hopefully his has too. But then there’s honesty. I have a hard time with that one sometimes. It’s hard for me to be honest with myself, which makes it hard for me to be honest around people, only under certain circumstances. But around him I can be myself, I can be honest with both of us, I don’t need to hide. I can let things go, I can cry, I can laugh, I can express every single emotion that’s bottled up inside waiting to come out.

Today I can be who I am. Sure, this was quite the adventure, but look at where everything has gotten us. We went from nothing to something to everything, or at least that’s how I look at it.