I can’t even play outside with my little brothers and sisters without havin’ eyes on me at all times. These white neighbors think imma go and steal somethin’ of theirs. I wish they’d understand we are all equal. Color of skin shouldn’t mean nothin’. White supremacist , i’ll conquer them all someday. Whether it’s with words or actions.

I go back inside and my mama asks me,

“ Jackie, they still be starin’ when y’all go out?”
I just look at her with a blank stare and she already knew the answer.
My mother Mallie was the ‘sweetest black lady’ around, as some would call her. She, being a single parent of five and living in a white neighborhood, was a strong one. My family was all pretty close. Especially from one trait we all shared, our skin color. That led prejudices to talk and hate, but that is what strengthened our love for one another.

Louise was sitting on the tattered couch and I went and sat down next to her. Wondering what was wrong, I put my arm around her and asked.

“Why so down?”

She slowly shrugs and replies, “Oh, just what I been hearin’ at school. Whites are tryin ta get rid’a us.”

Knowing what she means I squeeze her a little tighter. I was also once her age, and confused about it all.

“Jackie! You are almost late for practice, let’s get a go on it!”

“Imma comin’ mama!” I holler back.

Reaching the baseball fields, I almost start to tense up. Been here three years and still get scared ‘bout what them Whites are going to say next. Most treat me like family, but others no. They don’t like the thought ‘bout some damn n***** playin’ on their team.

Mama drops me off, and I start seein’ the glares from them beady eyes of theirs. I can tell you one thing, It’s hard being colored in a white town. I reach the field and coach tells me I’m up to bat. I practice and practice. Hoping to get better with each swing.
Hours pass by and sweats still dripping. The hot sun is beating down hard and coach finally says it’s time to wrap up. I go shower in the ‘Colored’ locker room and put my tattered clothes back on and start on headin’ homeward.
Mama usually picks me back up but that’s only if she is in town that long. Otherwise I walk to and from everyday. This evenin’ I’m walkin’. Five miles ain’t that bad, it’s just the folks I see that hurts. Kids from other non-colored schools throw stuff at me out their windows as they be drivin’ by. Their nice cars, unlike ours that rattles and shakes as it goes, smoothly ride beside me sometimes, tryin’ ta show me, I’m not like them.
Finally reaching home, I kick off my shoes and relax. Louise and Mayella, the youngest, ask me to read them some books. Helpin’ us both learn.
“Jackie, mama said you know this one good. Will you please read it ta us?” Whines Mayella in her sweet baby voice. Of course I do, how could anyone ever say no to that?
I finished readin’ and the girls jump off my lap and start gettin’ ready for bed. They always pickin’ books on how the characters were excluded by their friends or on how to make friends, cause them books always end the happiest.

I then too, got get my PJ’s on and climb into bed with George. He was finishin’ up his algebra and was just ‘bout to shut off the light. Layin’ there in my bed, I start ponderin’ on life. Wondering how it could be so difficult when we are all just human? Slowly my eyelids get heavier and heavier, then before I know it, I’m dreaming about someday I hope I will play for my favorite team, and will be in the major league for the Dodgers.
“George and Jackie, you got five minutes to be outa’ bed and eatin’ your breakfast!” Yells Byron. He’s the oldest in the fam, but none of us see him much. He was old enough to remember when my dad left us, me only six months old. He took it pretty hard, him and my mama are always buttin’ heads and disagreein’ on everything.
I quickly hop outa’ bed and shake George. Run downstairs and find mama makin eggs an’ bacon, all of our favorites. I then go get the two girls up and help them get dressed, they always love to look their prettiest on Sundays.
As our family sat around the table, my mama grabs my hand and starts sayin’ Grace. After, we all dig in like dogs! Mama loves to treat us some mornin’s. Then we all help with the dishes then get our shoes on.
Sunday morning’s we walk to church. Mama says it’s always too nice of a day ta not be walkin’. As we get closer, I can start to hear the choir singin’ and preacher preachin’.
Sitting down on our bench, I then start prayin’ that someday my family will be able to walk the streets free.