This is not an average love story. Its not an average “boy gets girl” , or in this case “Boy gets boy”, story. It would be your average love story if I didn't have to walk into the house to find him on the floor, It would be your average love story if I didn't have to wait for 3 hours to have the doctors tell me what I already knew. This would be your average love story, Your average “Boy gets boy” story if I didn't have to lose him.
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Lets take this story back, back to the summer of ‘09. The day started out with the sun high in the sky. To any other person this was “just an average day”, but that summer  was special. It was my 3 year anniversary with Castiel. Oh Castiel, I miss him so much these days, I miss his black hair that was always messy, I miss his tan trenchcoat, I even miss his dark blue tie that wasn’t quite blue but not quite navy, all I wanted to do was straighten his tie one more time. As I was saying, that summer was going to be when I proposed to Castiel. I had it all planned out the easy swoop in have him discover the ring then turn to me on one knee. It was so romantic as I played it in my head over and over as I pulled into the driveway. What happened next is so clear I dont even have to try to remember it. I can almost relive me walking up the stairs to the front door. The grocery bags dug into my skin. I opened the door and was struck by how easily it pushed open. After regaining my balance I looked around the house for Castiel. Seeing him no where, I set up. Five minutes later it was ready. “ Cas?” I yelled wondering where he was, “ Come help me put the groceries away” I continued, eyeing the ring on the counter. “Castiel?” My voice shook as I started to get scared. His car was there, his coat was hung up so the fact that I didn’t see him anywhere was very odd. I remember running up the stairs thinking, he must be setting up for our anniversary. I remember having that glimpse of hope as I opened our bedroom door, that small glimpse of hope that went away almost as quickly as it had came.

*
Every night that moment is replayed, the moment I walked in on his still body. Its been 2 years. Every morning I wake up in cold sweats to find Sam in the bedside chair, he would look at me with his eyes overflowing with pity as he would sigh and calmly ask, “ Rough night?” as if he needed to. . This morning didn’t turn out the same. When I woke up I was surprisingly warm and not sweating. Sam was in his bed meaning that I didn’t yell that night, “ At least he slept well” I muttered as I pulled myself from the bed. The bathroom seemed miles away and me, being as groggy as I was, didnt want to walk all that way. I sat back down in the bed and looked at the clock, “8:30? Sammy! Get up you worthless-”
“ Dude Im up I promise!” Sam interrupted in a tired voice as he sat up and rubbed at his eyes.
“Its been two years, Sammy, you said we could take the Impala to his memorial.” I tried to yell at him until my voice cracked mid sentence.
I batted away the familiar tears as they crept to the surface. “ Maybe we wont have to come back next year? You didn't make a peep last night. Maybe you’re getting better?” He said trying to have hope but it just ended in strong disbelief.
           “ You don’t say things like that Sammy! You have no idea. You visited Jessica’s grave every year for 7 years so just leave me alone!.” I screamed at him through clenched teeth.
I started toward the bathroom to get ready before stopped by a strong hand on my shoulder his traditional “Puppy-Dog” eyes. I shook him off and continued my step towards the bathroom. I made sure to slam the door and started to clean myself to get prepared to go to the memorial.  Because it was the two year anniversary I have to give a speech. I was thinking about doing a twist on my eulogy. I looked down at the chicken scratches on the paper. Sam would never understand, Castiel was the only one who looked past my “bad guy” act in high school. I shook off the memories and headed out whilst buttoning my suit coat. “ Sammy! You have five minutes!”
I yelled at him while I turned the door handle to leave the motel. Sam came out 2 minutes later in his regular ensemble, A plaid shirt and brown dress pants. I gave him a doubting look but just went along with it. “The ceremony is in 20 minutes! Get in the car!”
We drove for 15 minutes until we go to Denver. “ Well here goes” I mumble as I push up from the seat.
I walk up to the podium and look at the 30 or so people in front of me as I pull out the paper with my speech written on it. I cleared my throat, “ Im glad you could all come here today, we are here to honor a wonderful man. Yes, a wonderful man and future husband.” I looked out into the audience and imagined him sitting there in his tan trenchcoat and his messy blue tie. It instantly made me feel better. I sighed deeply,” When I met Castiel I was overtook by his bright blue eyes that were bluer than the ocean itself. I used to joke with him saying ‘you better watch out a fisherman might try to catch a codfish in your eye!’” there was slight laughter. I could feel my tears welling up in my eyes. “ The last thing he said to me was ‘ go get some milk don’t sit around all day’ and thats what I did, I got him some milk.” I couldn’t hold back tears. “ im sorry” I apologize as I step off the stage.

I sat down and saw the Castiel that I had “made-up” to get over my fear of talking in front of the people. He looked at me and turned his head, just like he always did when he was confused. I shook him off closing my eyes as the others went up to say prayers. I felt a hand on my shoulder. “ Sammy. I don’t have time for chick-flick moments.”
I said opening my eyes and looking up but instead of Sammy I saw a man in a tan trenchcoat and a white dress shirt. “ Cas?”