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Advice Letters
Dear Advice,
Having lived in a house for such a long time, it was difficult seeing it burned and most of all, the burns and scars it left on me. This ugly appearance keeps me isolated, and away from others. When people are around I tend to hide, and not be in their presence, I feel embarrassed, and a shyness that cripples me is always with me. I need your advice to overcome these issues, and problems in my life.
I understand that I’m not a bad person, but all these issues just keep me down, and most of all, alone and away from others. The only person I really interact is with my mother, she is always there for me. She always tries her best to keep my spirits up. Even though I do think the way I act is affecting her too. I can’t enjoy the outdoors, nor spend time with others. This meekness holds me back, and keeps me away from things that I enjoy doing. With my sister Dee, it’s very complicated; we don’t have a bond as sisters. I feel as if Dee got everything she wanted, and I was ignored, and not included. When she returned, she wanted to take my quilts that mama had planned to give me. I wanted her to take them, but I knew they were for me so; Mama didn’t let her take them. What most hurts me is I can’t have a good relationship with my sister; I need advice on how to overcome these issues.
Sincerely, Maggie
Dear Maggie,
I understand your problem. When I was young, I never liked to talk or spend time with others. I just kept things to myself, and I would rarely talk to others. I understood that without communication, you can’t receive help or attention. Having someone to talk to and express yourself to, it is just great, you feel cared, and people will gladly help you out. So that’s why I tell you today, spend time with others, don’t be so isolated, communicating with others is very special, and helpful. Enjoy your life at its fullest, don’t do things that can affect others in a bad way, do amazing things with your life.
The problem with your sister is very treatable. First of all, explain and tell her how you feel. Whenever I have problems or issues with my brother, I express myself in a way he understands how I feel. When you tell someone how you really feel about them, truth may hurt, but it helps them become a better person. Don’t hold back things that stress or bother you. It’s better to say it, then to keep it hidden. In reality sibling problems are normal, buts it’s better to treat them, be kind to your sister, and she’ll recognize her mistakes.
Sincerely,
Advice
Dear Advice,
As a mother of 2 girls, it has been very difficult to show my love to each of them. After Dee was sent to College, I stayed with my young daughter Maggie, who has several problems of meekness, and shyness. Not having Dee has been a huge problem emotionally for me, I fantasize about reuniting with Dee on television, and about Dee expressing gratitude to me for everything I’ve done for her. I feel as if Dee doesn’t appreciate anything the community, and I did for her. When Dee came for a visit, we soon found out that she had changed her name to,”Wangero”. She had done this because she couldn’t bear longer being named after the people that oppressed her. I quickly understood that Dee had changed a lot, all the time she had been away, makes her look down on her surroundings believing herself to be above them. Our relationship is not good at all; we don’t communicate nor talk to each other in a sincere way. Our bond has fallen apart, and I need advice on how to fix this, my daughters are very special, and I need ways to resolve this conflict.
Sincerely,
Mama
Dear Mama,
Having conflicts and misunderstandings with your daughter is always treatable. It is true that issues, and misconceptions may arise among between the both of you. Knowing this, there are always tips and helpful ways to solve these issues. First of all, understand how the problem/s arose, and how they were caused. I understand that you feel that Dee doesn’t appreciate the work, and effort you’ve put into giving her a good future. I’ve seen this in my parents before, and it’s something that hurt me very much. At the time I didn’t have maturity to appreciate and thank people for the things I received. So what I did was apologize, and ask for forgiveness. In this case, it may not be the same. Dee was gone for a while, and like you said, she changed a lot. But in reality sons/daughters need more love and care from their parents especially when they are away. Your daughter is old enough to understand her mistakes, and actions. Try to solve your issues by having a one on one conversation, examine your contribution to the problem, are you the aggressive one that doesn’t want resolution? Find something fun, and mutually satisfying that both of you can do together instead of negative. Be open to your daughter’s advice, show that what she says, and does matters to you. This way she understands you care about her well-being, and life. Above all, be there for when your daughter needs you most, this is very crucial, as your daughter will know that she has someone to go to when she needs help. These are several ways you can recover your daughters love, and trust back. This will also make your daughter realize her wrong doings, and the mistakes that she has done. Remember that having a bond with your daughter/s is the best thing a mother wants. Hope these tips help resolve the conflicts between the both of you.
Sincerely,
Advice
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